Saturday’s mindfulness retreat is still very much on my mind, especially the teaching, “there are no coincidences and no accidents.” This has led to great peace for me all week.
It was helpful when someone cancelled some plans, which upon retrospect opened us up for something else. It was even helpful in deciding which desk to buy. (I read that one was made to coordinate with a particular set of shelves that I already have and that decided it for me.) It was most useful when we learned that we won’t be closing on our home on Thursday as we had planned. Instead of my usual nervousness and thoughts spiraling out of control, I remembered what Karen said and realized that there is another plan at work for us.
So I don’t have to pack up our apartment in two days, hang all those new shelves this week, and otherwise rush, rush, rush. I have at least a week! We have 7 fewer days of paying rent AND a mortgage. I love that I can let go of the anxious feeling of “I want to live there already!” Since I know that unpacking is going to be a gargantuan task, I’m in no hurry.
It brings such clarity to so many things. Really, you could just decide that everything is as it is so why not accept it? Even traffic – maybe you aren’t meant to be somewhere yet. This really helps me stay in the present moment and fully enjoy it since I’m not worrying about the future or constructing all these what-if scenarios in my mind. Funny, nothing has changed except my mindset, and yet everything has changed!
I’m a fan of Karen’s books too, and enjoyed both your posts about the workshop. This is the lesson that stood out for me from your first post—because my brain just rebels against it.
I’m probably overthinking it, but doesn’t “no accidents” make it seem as though nothing is bad. So getting raped in a deserted parking lot becomes not a case of having been in the wrong place at the wrong time in a world that may be wonderful but also includes evil, but a case of somehow being an experience you “deserved” or the universe served you.
I think there are lessons to be learned in all experiences, and that love can bring something good out of anything—but I also think somethings are just random—that your house surived the tornado and your neighbors’ didn’t. I wonder if this idea is an outreach of the idea of karma. I believe what you send out into the world comes back to you, but I also believe some things just happen.
These are probably questions I should ask Karen herself; hope you don’t mind my trying to articulate them here.
Deirdre,
I know exactly what you are saying. I was thinking some of the same things because it DOES seem karma-like or destiny-related somehow. I agree… some things just happen, whether we deserve them or not, bad things included. It’s what we make of them that matters, I think. Big huge evil always causes me to pause, like the holocaust, or a miscarriage, or a rape. I have no answers really.
Naomi, I have loved all of your posts about your retreat. I loved Karen’s book and am so happy for the reminders you are sharing here. Thank you!
Thanks, Donna!
This is a great way to think about things that happen in our daily lives. I hope you can enjoy thinking this way and allowing yourself to relax forever!
Me too!! Thanks for reading. 🙂