Every so often, usually when I’m on one of my house straightening whirlwinds, my daughter will grab one of those little Post-it notes I made a couple months back that are supposed to remind me to “Breathe” or “Be still” and come running up to me with it, shouting “Relax!” in my face. It’s really very compassionate and smart of her, right? And sometimes it works.
Apparently I need more reminding than just the notes and her screaming though. Ali’s One Little Word class assignment for last month was to interview someone close to us about our word. One lazy Sunday morning at home, I asked Mr. B these questions. His answers tell pretty obviously that I’m not doing such a great job cultivating stillness. Read on…
Q1. How would you define “stillness?” Blocking out everything going on during day and enjoying peace and quiet. Well of course that is so nearly impossible for me (unless I’m at a hotel spa for the weekend) that I may as well quit now! But I do think that I find stillness in other ways as well – creating art and reading both lower my blood pressure for sure.
Q2. What visual images come to mind when I say that word? Snow at night in the forest. I do love that!
Q3. What elements of my word do you see in me currently? Not very much because you’re rarely still. Lovely! Not even an acknowledgment for trying!
In what ways do you see me living in alignment with this word? I see you trying to not have something on your to-do list. Yeah, I realize that is a pretty dumb way to go about finding stillness. I do tell myself that when I’ve got all these tasks crossed off my list, then I can relax. And of course, the list is endless. The trick is pausing in the middle and treating self-care as an important task in itself.
Q4. What would you do if you wanted more stillness in your life? Try to take some time out and not be preoccupied with my job. That tells me two things. 1) Since he doesn’t take that time, he must not be craving stillness and 2) I don’t really have “a job” per se to take time away from. I have 24/7 motherhood (teaching, feeding, shaping into a real human being, dressing, developing manners, maintaining relationships, taking care of health, getting her to sleep in her own bed, etc.), projects like blogging and art and photography that could take all my time if I let them, and house stuff like cleaning and organizing and paying bills and budgeting and grocery shopping, ad infinitum. I go and go and go and go and then wonder why I’m so exhausted every day… by mid-afternoon. Since there is no clear differentiation between “work” and “home,” I am going to need to consciously insert stillness somewhere in there every day.
Q5. Do you have any other insights or suggestions that would be helpful to me on my journey with stillness? Stop making to-do lists that occupy your entire day. And I thought I’d gotten better at that!
Very telling responses, don’t you think? I’m glad I asked because this has given me some good ideas for how to pause and take better care of myself. I have to stop juggling and just let it all go every so often.
This is a mashup that I made for Story of Mum called “The best of both worlds.”
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Be sure to visit these other participants to see what everyone is up to. You can see other posts about my OLW project here.
Lee: http://thelinarstudio.typepad.com/embracelife/ (our amazing organizer!)
Cheri: http://cheriandrews.blogspot.com
Margareta: http://www.paperpilekitten.com/
Missus Wookie: mrswookieswanderings.blogspot.com
Naomi: http://www.poeticaperture.com/ <— You are here.
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I’ll be back on Friday with the long-promised Alaska glacier photos!
I do think your husband’s answers were very revealing, although apparently not well thought out. I find that stillness is ESSENTIAL to my well being. I meditate every day and my husband is learning not to interrupt me during that 15 minutes. I get very cranky and frantic on the days I miss out. With little ones at home, it can be very hard. But since you are a “lister” – add “stillness time” to your to do list. Make it a priority ahead of vacuuming and dusting, but behind tending to your little one’s immediate needs. Maybe when she is napping you can find some stillness time. Or maybe your husband can take over parenting duties for 15 minutes a day to give you some private time. You’ll be a better wife and mother when you give yourself the self-care and time it takes to be truly centered.
Cheri recently posted…Story Telling Sunday – My Precious 10
It is so important to be really in touch with your body like that. Before I quit my day job and started Massage Therapy school I felt that go go go all the time as well. Getting massages regularly helps, and I’ve been able to detect the signs of that “too much on my to do list” stress and try to chill that out before it consumes my life. It’s not always successful but being more aware is a huge key in that growth.
Tiffany recently posted…If it sounds too good to be true…
Stillness. That is something that I can’t do without. For so many years, I have been a practitioner of contemplative prayer. I have so many things going right now and as the “to do” list grows, I find that it has began to infringe on my still time. I have also found that I need to make the still time, the priority because without it, I don’t function as well, nor am I as happy. The stillness allows me to connect to Source and recharge. A definite priority! <3
Belinda Rose recently posted…What Is, ‘Is’!
I agree with you, Belinda. How do you remember to carve out that stillness?
Such an interesting post Naomi. It’s a good thing we open to working with our word/energy for a full year isn’t it? Because there’s so much to learn. Wishing you lots of spaciousness around this one!
Deborah Weber recently posted…Elemi and the Butterfly Connection
We are very much alike Naomi. Stillness is not one that I do with ease either. I love your collage, the best of both worlds. xo
Suzanne McRae recently posted…Time in nature to fill my soul!
What a wonderful interview! I love the answers you got. I felt Stillness just by reading them. I think it is necessary to consciously MAKE time for stillness every day. Not that I’m very good at it… 😉
Margareta Carlsson recently posted…One Little Word October Blog Hop
Hi Naomi,
What a lovely reveal. Hmmm. I can see myself in you. I think we know what to do most of the time – it is just a matter of doing it! 🙂
Amy Putkonen recently posted…Our Bodies are Just Like Deep Space
I found whilst in the thick of 24/7 parenting with small people that I had to block out time and put on my list ‘quiet time’. So we had time after lunch that was quiet – we watched a video, or read books, listened to audio books while playing with dolls/lego/whatever (quiet toys) and generally encouraged the kids to be quiet too. Think of it as an important life skill to teach as well as to learn 🙂
As a Quaker it tickled me to see Patti talking about us too!
Missus Wookie recently posted…Popcorn for Dinner (Wordless Wednesdays)
Your husband’s input was very telling … umm I look forward to reading future posts of how you implemented more or some stillness into your life. Oh by the way, thanks for the book recommendation – The Woman Upstairs. I just picked up from the library and I am enjoying – the opening pages so describe how I feel sometimes.
Lately I have been reading Philip Gulley’s thoughts on the Quaker value of simplicity. He is writing about not letting acquiring possessions to overtake out lives. One thing he talks about is discerning between our wants and needs and giving careful consideration to how our needs are met and their cost to other living beings. I wonder if you might be able to adapt this to help you – deciding what is essential and most important & maybe other “To Do” items can get done less often or delegated to someone else. Just a thought.
Sending light.