Just as “noise” in a photo can make it really tough to see the focal image (and I’m sorry I don’t have an example but I always delete those photos that are too grainy!), added excess in your daily life can make it really hard to remember and focus on what’s most important.
So life is busy. Life with a little one is chaotic. I can’t seem to ever get on top of the laundry, the dishes, the bills, the clutter in the back seat of my car, and on and on. It has been really bothering me that there’s always something to pick up when leaving one room to take to another room.
And so I’m trying to loosen my need for perfection and to reframe my thinking. There is a middle way between disaster and perfect order and I want to live there. When I pick up a toy or an old drink cup or a pair of shoes, I am consciously looking at it with love, remembering how little hands and feet need these items. I am nourishing a life and watching change and growth happen before my eyes. I can get annoyed or I can appreciate. Maybe both at once?
Just as a noisy photo probably has an ISO setting too high or a shutter speed too fast, a chaotic life also needs some added lingering. Slowing down is crucial for me to enjoy my day. Yesterday, my daughter and I were at the pool and it was not crowded for once. I mentioned to her how lovely it is spending a relaxed summer afternoon together with nothing to do and nowhere to be, and I got a hug in return. It reminded me that my daughter feels my stress and that letting that go helps us both.
I am really tired of planning and thinking and scheduling and I’m giving my mind a rest. I’m taking a lesson from my cats and just hanging out more. When I can quiet my mind and surrender to what is, even if the house is not perfect, everyone is happier. I want to enjoy my family, be grateful for the objects that surround us, even that I am lucky enough to have laundry to do – a washer and dryer and enough clothes that we don’t wear the same thing every day.
Kids will be kids, and mine is particularly messy creative. I will continue to let my daughter make her “concoctions,” but maybe the bathtub would be a better place to ease in cleanup and keep me sane.
Anyway, I’m putting a new lens on my internal camera and slowing down. In an attempt to find advice, I just started the ebook How to Stay Sane (School of Life)
how to stay on the path between those two extremes, how to remain stable and yet flexible, coherent and yet able to embrace complexity.” I’ll let you know what I learn.
Please share in the comments how you are doing the same. 🙂
I love the analogy of the noisy photograph. I am a notorious multi tasker and one who loves to squeeze more and more in.
About to go for a leisurely walk with the kids.
Thanks for the much needed reminder
Karen Main recently posted…What it means to be a Mum
Oh, me too. I need more reminders around me to slow down in the moment.
Got me! Who had her bowl of porridge in her hand as she read this? Bowl down. Full attention. Thanks Naomi.
Kelly L McKenzie recently posted…The Secret We No Longer Keep From Mom
Yay for you!!
I love your willingness to relax and take it easy this summer. I am sure your daughter really enjoys that time together. How nice to have a pool right there. Enjoy it!!
Michele Bergh recently posted…30 Ways to Love
We are enjoying more and more these days. 🙂
Way to go Naomi!! Slowing down is a virtue not to be lost. Everything gets done in it’s own time, really it does. Don’t fret. Three years ago, my husband and I sold our house in town and went back to the country. This country girl missed the sights, sounds, and smells. Now, as I refer to it, it’s just me and the birds during the day. No noise, no interuptions, just pure bliss and I love it. Living your life looking at nature, tuned into it, forces you to flow. Give bird watching a try, even your child might like it. They teach us a lot. So do the frogs, bees, deer, turkeys, hawks, eagles, woodchucks, and even the snakes. All my neighbors. 🙂 At night there’s even more, but this is the time I choose to not be observant. 🙂
How lovely all that sounds, Kelli. I’d love to do the same. For now, I’m trying to minimize where I can.
Ah you’re learning to let go a bit…once you do it for awhile it will be easier but for sure it is hard at the beginning…now I keep most rooms really neat…and then I have other rooms that it’s o.k. if they are a bit messy…like my office…and then every once in awhile I hoe it all out, set it up, dust and just feel so good…and then the mail comes and the mess begins again..
I do have a room for the boys also…which is messy when they are here but that one I have to clean up right after they leave because the toys drive me nuts…
Take some time this summer Naomi and pay attention to the cats…they are so smart…and you got a great photo of that one…
Cheryl recently posted…Looking For Papa
I seem to go in spurts too. Once everything has a home, it should be simple to put it back there, right? For some reason it doesn’t happen all the time. I’m going with bins for toys because my daughter can do that herself. And yes, I don’t spend enough time with our sweet kitties.
I always delight Naomi when you find that rhythm that allows you some spaciousness – a little more room to breathe, a little more freedom, a little less stress. I think your kitty is a perfect role model! P.S. The photo of your bejeweled feet propped up makes me smile – now that’s perfect summer ease.
What a purrrrfect kitty picture. I do think cats have got it made, they have somehow gotten us to provide everything they need, without being required to work in return. I agree, we all have a choice about how to react to the inevitable imperfections of life.
I agree with cats having it made, and I think they know it too. 🙂
I can so relate to this. Our culture reveres ‘busy’ to the point of multitasking every moment. Seriously, I was eating breakfast as I began writing this and then I thought wait a minute. So I put down the fork, picked up my tea and just enjoyed the view from the kitchen window as I sat and sipped.
Thank you for reminding me to hit the pause button now and again 🙂
Susan recently posted…Eating Clean
It’s so true, Susan. I’m proud of you for giving your full attention to each action. You caught yourself!
Having enough clothes that you don’t have to do laundry every day is indeed a good thing. My days are mostly quiet right now, but I am hoping to get busier soon when a job comes up.
SKJAM! recently posted…Manga Review: Sword Art Online: Aincrad
It’s good to have an ebb and flow to our days so we can appreciate each phase, don’t you think?
First, I didn’t know that a fast shutter speed could cause noise, so I learned something. Thank you! As for noise in my life, I live a much slower life than I used to. Yes, I’m retired, but I know other people my age still running on that invisible treadmill. I have simply decided to do less. Runs counter to what this culture teaches, and seems to expect, that it is – I just do less these days. And, in the process, see and enjoy more.
Linda Watson recently posted…Ready to Weave
Doing less is ok! I keep trying to tell myself that over and over. 🙂
In this second half of life I’m finding that I enjoy solitude and the contemplative life. The challenge for me is to quiet my mind…no easy task. My ‘mantra’ of late has been to say to myself, “Okay, I’m open to surprises.” Rather than try to imagine what may happen and imagine scenarios that don’t exists, I work on being right here, right now, and let the future take care of itself.
You can never go wrong listening to your Cat. They seem to always know when to be on high alert and when to just chill on the back of the couch.
That is so true… how do cats KNOW those things? Right now, they are sleeping under my bed… seems like a good idea! Of course, they also think it’s a good idea to jump on my daughter’s bed when she’s almost sleeping.
I live with a perfectionist husband, so thankfully he isn’t home during the day to see all those things lying around. I tend to be the messy more creative one, no surprise there. So about 4 p.m. I been my daily tidy and clean up routine. That way I still enjoy the day until 4 p.m.
Sarah, your comment made me laugh. It’s good to respect your roommates and do what helps them feel good. (I write this in case my husband is reading this… subliminal message to do the dishes more often please.)