I’m conducting my own personal introvert revolution over here. I am a get-r-done, high-energy perfectionist and I sometimes go go go and then I tend to crash. As a highly sensitive person, I should know my limits. The issue seems to be living within them in a better way.
I can’t handle too much of any one stimuli or I physically start to rebel. I have been noticing more and more that when I listen to my body and spirit telling me to take a break, I am far more resilient and happy if I listen.
I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright light, noise, extreme temperature, or violent TV and movies. Sometimes there’s so much to process that I need to incubate in a slower environment for awhile, and that is ok with me. Carving out the time to let this happen proactively is the difference I’m trying to make. That way I don’t have to back out of things at the last minute.
Stillness print available here
Sometimes these subtle nuances are there to remind us to take care of ourselves. Last week, my edges were especially frayed and so I let myself cancel phone calls and meetings, curl up and take a nap one day, not follow my usual schedule. The shift was immediate. There’s a physical basis to this as well. I learned from reading The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World (Step-By-Step Guides)
Being your own caregiver is a huge lesson for most of us. We are so good at looking after everyone else, but often we don’t know how to give ourselves a break. I am doing an experiment with myself. I’m trying to plan my day around my intuitive needs and where I am in my physical hormonal cycle, and generally trying to simplify where possible. Today we have some A/C repairmen banging around in the attic and also a sick child at home with me, but to make it easier, I’ve got some soothing music playing and am sitting somewhere very comfortable.
Going forward, I am going to plan my outings into noisy or crowded environments carefully, with built-in breaks or in limited quantities. I am no longer going to feel that there is something wrong with me that I can’t handle something. I’d rather meet you for a quiet chat over tea than come to your birthday party.
Instead of feeling like an odd duck, it dawned on me that maybe being this tender is a strength. Isn’t this the very quality that helps me sense other’s vulnerabilities and moods, connect to my own and others’ feelings, truly see what others sometimes miss, let alone be creative and intuitive and artistic? I can’t do this if I’m tired or hungry or exhausted. I can only tune in to these traits when I take care of myself. It’s almost like I have to guard this special quality and not let it get too overwhelmed that it runs and hides.
“The highly sensitive person has an important mission, which is to serve as a balance to the more aggressive behavior of some of the non-HSPs who advocate a less than nurturing policy toward humans, animals, and Mother Nature.” (This is not intended to be a slight against “non-HSPs.”)
So others can go to the large gatherings and the crowded restaurants, the baseball games and the concerts. I will go only when I know I can handle it, when I “can anchor myself to a ship of tranquility, [when I] won’t be tossed about by the waves of stimulation.” And when I don’t think I can, I’ll know I’m not missing out because I am protecting something special.
I plan to write a blog post on this discover – I’ll tag this post in it (and keep you posted). After I dig a little deeper. Thanks again. Very cool. I sent my husband a link to that book and asked him to read it 🙂
Oh good! I’m glad to be helpful in some HSP way. 🙂
Wow! wow wow wow.
This just described me to a T – wasn’t sure there was an actual term for it. And what great reminders. THANK YOU! I’m going to stop being so hard on myself now 🙂
I am getting that book. (p.s. I’m an extrovert, not an introvert – takes all kinds I guess.)
Sara recently posted…Asian Shredded Chicken Salad
I’m so glad to introduce a fellow HSP to the concept! Read the book that Dr. Elaine Aaron wrote in the 90s. There’s one for love and one for work too. I wish there was one for parenting! Extroverted HSPs must need more recovery time… or would it be less, because you get your energy from being together with others?
I’m highly sensitive, too, and it such a relief that we have so much information available these days and we know we’re not alone and it’s ok to take care of ourselves. I used to think there was something wrong with me when I was younger.
Tat recently posted…Lessons about what’s possible #City2Surf
I completely agree! 20% of the population (I am guessing he means of the world) is HSP. I used to think something was wrong with me too! Think of the value we bring by being so intuitive and sensitive, picking up on subtleties. We are so wonderful!
“I’d rather meet you for a quiet chat over tea than come to your birthday party.”
Yes, this is exactly how I am. I would love to meet you for a quiet chat over tea, Naomi, if we were in the same physical area. Here, have a sip of my jasmine green. Mmm, next, let’s make a big pot of chai. I’ll bring the chocolate!
If you throw a party, though, I probably won’t come. But I’ll comment on the pictures on Facebook. 🙂
Harmony Harrison recently posted…My First Teeny-Tiny Oil Painting! “School Picture”
I wish we could meet for tea and chocolate! 🙂
Oh Naomi, what a perfect post. I’m nodding my head as I read your words. I’m also a highly sensitive sister. We make great nurtures and listeners but sometimes fall short on giving ourselves extreme self care and lots of needed down time to renew the energy we give to others. Why do I feel guilty about doing that when I give so much of myself?
A big warm hug,
Kathy
I know you are, Kathy. Yes, if only we could give such nurturing to ourselves. Hugs to you as well. xoxo
I’ll meet you for that tea any day!! I’m right there with you. As a flower essence practitioner I know which essences or combinations of essences to use for what events are taking place in life. Whenever I go anywhere that’s highly active the first thing I do is take Bachs Rescue Remedy. In fact, my daughter always asks to make sure I have it along. It’s not a pretty picture when I don’t. 🙂 Tea in a quiet coffee shop, talking about inspiring things is a go to for me!! Inspiring article. Thanks.
This is the third time I am hearing of Rescue Remedy. What form do you use? I notice there is a tincture, tablets, even a cream…
Tincture form is the best. A couple of drops under the tongue, or in a glass of water, a few times or more, a day helps relieve anxiety plus a lot more. Of course there are combinations of essences that work to balance much more within the emotional scope, but that is, sometimes more than not, best left up to the professionals to help you, since we are trained to look for, and hear, where the imbalances are taking place. Check out my website if you’re interested in going further with this type of option. Happy relaxing to you….:)
I ordered some from Amazon and can’t wait to try it!
Your art work is beautiful…I don’t think I have ever told you that but I should have…even when I’m not sure of the subject…I love looking at your art…
Enjoy your weekend Naomi…maybe rest a bit…
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This is huge encouragement for me, Cheryl. Thank you. 🙂
I’m also a highly-sensitive person. Probably one of the most foundational and transformative things I have learned in life is to care for myself proudly, owning my HSP-ness with gratitude and tenderness! Thanks for sharing this Naomi. http://rachelgreenhouseblog.com/2012/10/02/the-season-of-letting-go/
I am so grateful for your comment, Rachel. I agree completely.
Naomi, I can relate! Beautiful, soothing artwork . . . and that little fist about “Introverts Unite” at the top of your post made me laugh out loud. When we take care of ourselves, we can show up so much more fully, when we show up. 🙂
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I found that on Facebook and laughed out loud too. Yes, I am needing to take better care of myself. 🙂 Thank you for your comment!
An absolutely beautiful post. It took me years to figure this out, so glad you’re realizing it now. Yes, proactive and recognizing it as a strength that must be cared for, nurtured. Yay! (said quietly)
Linda Watson recently posted…Faith
Ah Linda, I wish I had more figured out! I’m trying to find stillness and self-care/compassion every day.
Your artwork is beautiful Naomi! I let myself take a nice long nap yesterday too. The world looks different today 🙂
Ah, I’ve got a little sickie over here keeping me busy and awake much of last night. A nap sounds divine right now!
I, too, am an HSP. For as long as I can remember, I’ve gotten overwhelmed in crowds, dizzy/nauseous standing in line at store check-outs, and preferred being at home, visiting with one friend instead of going to a birthday (or any other kind of) party. And even when I’m one on one with someone, after a time, I find eye contact becomes a chore and I want to go home. I never let myself become that uncomfortable if I can help it. When I was your age, staying home with my daughters, I consciously became more out-going to teach them how not to be like me, my true HSP self.