When was the last time you really examined all your possessions and reflected on how your home makes you feel? (OK, if you’re similar to me, you do that all the time. Probably too much!) This week I began Step 1 of 8 in Xorin Balbes’ excellent guide toward creating a true refuge.
It’s not too late to join our Facebook group! Amazingly, there are now 75 of us and we are having a fantastic time encouraging each other, sharing photos and resources, and laughing at some of the decor that we must have thought was a good idea at the time of purchase. Read more about what we’re up to in last week’s post.
This and all images in this post are from a vision board I created last January. Interestingly, over the past week, I have been looking for a way to add a fireplace to our home.
Balbes writes that “your living quarters are a physical manifestation of your emotional wants and needs, a mirror of your thoughts, dreams, hopes, wishes, and issues” and that “the interior design of your home is a mirror of the interior design of you.”
Woah. If that’s true, I’m a hodgepodge of different ideas and styles with a ton of extra stuff thrown in there to confuse myself. Knowing that I pack my days with way more activity than is healthy, my friend Patti e-mailed me this Einstein quotation a few months ago and it’s been top of mind ever since. “Out of clutter, find simplicity.”
I want to do that! I’m ready.
In stage 1, ASSESS, we look at our home as it is today, examining why it is the way it is and who in the home it supports, and focusing on each room and each object with clarity. We follow this stage with RELEASE (which I’m really good at 😉 ) and CLEANSE in the upcoming weeks.
“The assessment phase is where you really need to consider what you love and why you love it, what you dislike and why you dislike it, what rooms in your house make your feel at home, and which ones make you feel like a stranger in your own home. You need to take inventory of your actual belongings and their organization within your home, as well as the feelings that you have attached to all those things… Truly consider what is in front of you, one step, one feeling, one object at a time.”
Balbes promises that “once you face your belongings, confront your fears, unclutter your space, and discover your personal desires and truths, you will have more energy, feel more inspired, access more creativity, and find that you can harness your creativity and find refuge, renewal, and splendor within your own four walls.” Well sign me up for that!!!
That probably sounds to you like it could take a very long time. Being the impulsive perfectionist that I am, I did a quick room-by-room assessment of our house, thinking about what in each room inspires me or annoys me and how the room is working for us overall, and then jumped ahead toward “fixing” it. Lol. I am now far ahead of myself in the purging/decluttering stage.
“Reconnect” is huge for me right now, as is “finding joy in simplicity.” At least I’m consistent!
“Remember, if there are things missing from your life, there’s a good chance they are reflected in the space in which you live. If there are issues that you have been holding on to, you will likely see them represented in the objects and the space in your home as well.”
Every single time Mr. B and I discuss how we could spend more time together given his work and travel schedule, we come back to the not-exactly-brain science idea of being in the same room together at the same time. After I put my daughter to bed at night, I want a cozy spot to relax, read, and decompress from the day. If he’s home, Mr. B is in the living room. I do not like spending time in the living room. Aha! You can bet I’ll be diving into this room and really thinking about it as I read upcoming chapters.
We are constantly evolving as we learn and grow and experience new things. I am finally completely ok with letting go of things that no longer serve our family or are no longer useful. Sometimes I feel remorse that we spent money on something that I no longer want, or something was a wedding gift and it’d be rude to give it away or sell it, but that’s no longer enough of a reason to keep it. I have some things I have held on to for years and now I realize that each time I see these objects, they bring me down in one way or another.
So I guess you could say that where I am right now is in the “ruthlessly purging” stage. I have already sold a few pieces of furniture, made three trips to Goodwill, and offered books, clocks, and toys to friends. More on this next week as we discuss “release.”
I would love to hear about your own assessment process and whether you allow yourself room for changes and growth in your home decor decisions. What do you keep and what do you let go of? Was there ever something that you kept for years and finally decided to part with?
