Exactly how do you pursue less?
The underlying premise of essentialism is that you just can’t fit it all in. At some point you’ve got to be selective. I realize now that I can’t devote my best self to the most important things if I’m spread too thin. There are finite limits to time and energy, which I’m just now learning but some people seem to already realize. 🙂
We already know that trying to get everything done leads to all kinds of trouble and stress. It’s soooo hard for me to say no to people and projects but so far I’m doing well. Slowly starting but I think it will build and get easier.
I don’t really have experience in saying no to people (or myself, really). Since I used to say yes to everything no matter what, for now I’m saying no to everything and everyone. Eventually it’ll even out to where I can judge appropriate opportunities as they arise and make good decisions.
For instance, just last night I read about a class that sounded perfect for me and I almost enrolled, but then I remembered that I’m not adding anything else right now. I wasn’t too disappointed. In a few seconds, I said goodbye to a few hours a week and then got them right back!
How to become an essentialist
McKeown suggests 3 principles in becoming an essentialist: 1) create space to explore what is essential to you (quarterly evaluative retreat); 2) eliminate non-essentials – make a daily list of top 6 to-dos and then cross off the bottom 5 – then you have your main priority of the day. 3) re-allocate resources you’ve eliminated and put them to work on what’s most important – design a proactive routine rather than reacting to the day.
He also says we need to become the CEO of our own lives. If we don’t, there are many other people who will step in and take that role. In that quarterly evaluation (out of your normal environment), ask yourself: 1) what are some of my achievements in the past 90 days? 2) where do I want to be 90 days from now? 3) what are the tradeoffs I need to make in order to achieve those?
I think that distance must be why I can come home from a vacation and have the perspective to make big changes right away.
That routine for the first hour of each day: maybe you always start each day intentionally by exercising or studying or meditating or writing – rather than reaching for email and getting pulled in to other people’s priorities. Maybe you start in on that one priority you’ve already identified. (This is much harder to do as a parent, I think! We are subject to someone else’s needs right away unless we purposefully wake up before they do.)
Later in the day, we have decision (and discipline) fatigue. Starting the morning on the most important thing (that has already been decided) is KEY to success.
What is your priority?
It’s so true… you can’t make the contribution you want if you’re exhausted and pulled in too many directions. So back to those priorities… let’s look at what those are and focus on those. Then we will be most helpful and truly shine.
Funny, I’ve started that single primary priority a day thing this year (although still haven’t been able to resist secondary priorities and some daily activity lists) and have found myself getting behind already. Thanks for the reminder (and idea) to pick one.
On the “no” front, this can be liberating, in moderation ;-). Had a friend teach me this one many years ago in a way that made it stick. I don’t feel guilty about saying no anymore, but probably say yes more often than I should even still.
It is so hard to limit ourselves, I find. Yet I have much more energy for my family when I do. I find cleaning out one drawer to feel like a great accomplishment, but an entire room… too much. That was the old me. 🙂 It is tempting to start but I know that unless I have enough time and energy, I’ll just be overwhelmed and make a mess.
Thanks Naomi, I love the one priority a day idea. AND especially the quarterly retreat. Just today I was thinking about getting back out in my little camper for a few days. Its pretty cold right now, but soon sounds wonderful. thank you for this reminder. I’ve been trying to lesson my priorities too. Our Year of Only Local is top of the list. And now I’m going to be grandma! So leaving in the summer for two months. Life is fabulous. I just need to settle in and breathe.
kimberly recently posted…Day 133 – Ice Cream Deficiency
Congrats, Kimberly! ENJOY it all!
You are so right here! Although I don’t make a list of 6 things each day and cross off five, I’ve obviously paid a lot more attention to some parts of my life, and they take priority. I am pretty good about always practicing mandolin and guitar, about exercising regularly, and about working. Sitting down at the computer to read a little news in the morning is a dangerous thing though, I can waste entirely too much time that way. I don’t really see that so much as other people’s agendas, I instead see it as a form of light entertainment. It’s entertainment that can have a social dimension, not a bad thing when you have a day all alone. I completely agree about making your plan for the day early, before fatigue sets in. The more tired I am, the harder it is to make the best choices. 🙂
I guess I make my lists and just keep adding tasks until it’s impossible. I get lots done, but I don’t feel accomplished because of all the tasks I push off to other days. When I wrote about email/online, I was thinking of people who check work emails first thing, where their boss asks for something and then they’re off doing that thing and not what might be a better first thing. I’m going to have to plan dinner in the mornings because we’ve been ordering in far too much!