On variety of emotion

“We all know of the tears that turn to laughter.  Or the laughing that breaks open to a cry. Or the anger that crumbles into a tender loneliness.  Or the cool face of indifference that cracks, eventually showing its adhesive of fear.  Amazingly, as the infinite forms of flowers all rise from the same earth, the earthly garden of emotions – in all their delicate shapes and colors — all rise from the same earth of heart.” ~ Mark Nepo

It is stunning sometimes how quickly we can shift.  I am finding that the few days between ovulation and starting a new cycle to be full of forgetfulness, irritability, and intense sadness for me, so much so that I’m learning to avoid scheduling any interactions during that time.  I’d never paid much attention to my monthly cycle before, but it seems to be getting worse as each month passes… I am almost like a totally different person for a day or two there!

It frightens me because I have had many episodes of severe depression in the past, and one or two of these days feel a little like what that felt like, minus the “it’s going to be like this forever” aspect.  I’m an intense person and the highs are that much higher while the lows sometimes seem unbearable.  Logically, I realize it’s all chemistry.  (I am consulting doctors as well as taking anti-depressants and vitamins… do not worry.)  Emotionally, there is absolutely nothing I can do besides ride the wave and wait for it to pass.

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Did you have a good Valentine’s Day? Our Sweet Girl was very into it, as usual.  We made a huge poster of what we value about each other… all her idea.  She and I made and decorated sugar cookies, which I try to do once a year with her even though it takes hours and makes a huge mess.  It was a good Love Day.