This past weekend, we went to a dedication ceremony for the new elementary school. All the kids got to sign a huge beam that will be incorporated somehow into the design. Our principal spoke beautifully of this being the third school year of our displacement, mentioning all that we have risen above and how we’ve come together even more than before as a community.
Several moments of the ceremony brought tears to my eyes. It hadn’t even occurred to me to bring tissues because Sweet Girl is in her final year of elementary school and won’t even be going to this new school. So why did it touch me so much?
It is still so personal.
Deep breaths. I’ve been overwhelmed the past few days, a little panicked about all the responsibility on my shoulders. I have even doubted myself and my ability to juggle so much. To spare you the details, I’ll just say that there is a lot going on.
I need to give myself permission to choose the quality of my days over the quantity of how much gets done.
Still, we deal with the temporary. Temporary digs, not all our usual gear, extra steps for every little thing, lots of traffic. I go to the house at least once a day to see something new or confirm a paint color or answer questions. I still make dinners and we eat together to discuss our day. Some time very soon, we can start an official countdown of how many apartment dinners we have left!
I can’t speak for everyone who has sustained losses from a natural disaster, but for me, there is a sense of groundlessness that I’m rather ready to be finished with. As the house comes together with paint, countertops, and flooring over the next couple of weeks, I think it will start to feel like it’s truly almost finished.
Difficult situations, tragedies, illnesses, losses of any kind are part of life. I think each experience we go through makes us that much more strong and resilient. Nothing should be taken personally.
My deepest wisdom knows that a few more weeks is worth the wait to go home again, but man is it hard to wait! This new house is just about everything we could want (within reason) and we have put countless hours of thought into every little aspect. It will honor us as a family and as individuals, creating spaces for work, hobbies, and relaxation.
I envision game nights, dinners with friends, and family holidays… lots of togetherness. I also am so excited to be able to set up my office and art room and have dedicated permanent space.
We each have things we need to learn. One thing this experience has taught me is to travel lightly and to be satisfied with less, and to know that I’ll be ok. This is big for a person who used to pack for an overnight at a friend’s house with half of my bedroom. I guess I thought possessions were the key to security.
Yesterday was the first time in Y E A R S that we ran out of paper towels! And my first thought wasn’t annoyance but the thought, “less to pack!”
The house was originally expected to be finished back in March. Then it became September. And that would have been ideal. I am now learning how to let go of expectations, plan ahead for volunteer commitments, and how to talk myself down from tension and anxiety. I don’t want to spend any time feeling powerless. There is so much to do!
