“We are all connected.”
“We’re being offered a tremendous gift.”
“This crisis makes us see what’s truly essential.”
“Mother Nature is enjoying this reset.”
Generally I am an incredibly positive person, but I’m in a slump. I know we are supposed to take this time as an opportunity for growth in many facets. I know how fortunate I am to have shelter and time and health. I know having one child is not the same as running a day care center.
And yet, for an introvert, right now is really rough. It’s too much togetherness for me.
When I attempt to stay in my own bubble, outside of the news cycle and Facebook, my mood is better, but I find myself focusing on the negative side of things. I am worried about our world; worried about the state of our country; worried about my own family’s health; worried I am going to go insane with my little mini-me shadowing me all day long.
Logically I know that I can set my own thoughts, and in turn, change my outlook. I know this, and yet there must be some ego benefit in stewing about how unfortunate my situation is. Why else would I do it? I absolutely abhor this selfish tendency in other people, and yet here I am. It feels weak and shameful.
I think it’s ok to grieve the loss of our usual routines and to fear what will happen going forward. But the fact is, we don’t know for sure what our new routine will be. We don’t know what public school will look like in the fall, what will be safe to do and where will be safe to go, or how much into the future we’ll have to rearrange our plans. I guess we need to separate from those expectations and just go with the flow.
It’s really difficult for me to be available to another person all day long. Sweet Girl is in hog heaven right now; all she ever wants is time with her momma to snuggle and play. I have not lost my temper and have been very patient, but in my head I am sometimes screaming and crying. There have been a couple of times this week that I’ve had to go to a different room and let the tears come because of the uncertainty of when this togetherness will end. I am also concerned about SG’s separation anxiety popping back up when she does eventually need to go somewhere without me.
I find that I have nothing left over for other people outside of my immediate family. After dealing with questions and chit chat all day, homework help and all the rest, I don’t want to join Zoom calls with friends or my classes. I don’t want to talk to anyone else. I might be dealing with a deficit of Naomi-time. I don’t think there’s a ready solution either.
What are you doing to have a positive perspective right now? How do you shape your days? How much news media do you allow yourself? If you’re living with others right now, how do you carve out time for your own needs?
it is definitely rough—especially the trying-to-stay-positive part. and i don’t have any small humans to deal with. i’m still working from home, so that helps give the day some structure. and i do something active every day—whether it be a walk outside, an exercise video, or even just dancing around. i’m also doing a lot of crossword puzzles, which feels like a luxury. and then my husband does stuff like mowing the lawn in a chewbacca costume and making funny profile pics for his FB—lol. everybody is handling things in their own way, but you can only do as much as you can do. some days, that will be enough. some days it won’t. be kind enough to yourself to let that be ok. and maybe mow the lawn in an evening gown every now and then ?
Today I created a schedule that outlines which hat I’m wearing during which hours of the day. I have two hours where the kids may not interrupt me. We’ll see if that works better for the next week and half. I also started listening to positive thinking audiobooks to relearn a new inner monologue. And I think of calling my friends, but most days don’t have the energy.
Tell me about it on the hats! I hope you’re hanging in there!