The Jewish High Holidays begin this Friday evening. We are to spend the month prior to the New Year in prayer, repentance, and reflection. I think going into these worship services without spending some time in self-reflection is like showing up to a final exam without attending any of the classes. What is the point?
Mussar master Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe taught that one of the most important things we can do for our spiritual lives is to give ourselves some time each day alone in contemplation. In these days leading up to Rosh Hashanah, we spend a good deal of time preparing ourselves for a new beginning.
One of the coolest things I have heard recently was on a Jewish Inspiration podcast by Rabbi Yaakov Wolbe (yes, grandson of Shlomo) called “The Essence of Elul.” In it, he tells that spiritual time is cyclical, not linear. Every year when we enter a particular day, any day but let’s say Rosh Hashanah, we are re-entering the spiritual properties of all of the Rosh Hashanahs in the past (and the future too, I’d guess). That is one way that we can say that we really all were present at Mt. Sinai. This cycle of time is fascinating to me. We are connected in unimaginable ways to those who came before us and those who will be alive long after we are gone.
He also asks the main question of these holidays: What is keeping you from being your best self? What do you need in order to move past it?
This is the time when the universe was formed, and we think of these holidays as if the world were being reborn. What kind of world do we wish to create together? It’s also as if we are being born anew. What kind of person do we wish to be? Of course, every moment is an opportunity to begin again, but milestones and spiritual times like this can sometimes make it easier to recognize our part in creating the kind of life we desire. If we tweak a few things, God will meet us halfway and actualize change in our lives.
What a challenge this past year has been! I recognize that we are so privileged to be able to review the past year and make changes to our lives. I imagine a more equal and compassionate society, one where there is no suffering, pandemic, injustice, or inequity. We have experienced loss of life on a massive scale, which tempers some of the joy and blessing I am feeling right now. There is so much work to be done and I wish to do my part.
As we assess our past actions and we hope for blessings in the coming year, we are to think about what we can change in ourselves in order to realize a world where there is no oppression, stereotyping, or mistreatment of “the other,” whatever that may be in people’s minds. As Maimonides wrote in his code of law, “Each person must see himself as though the entire world were held in balance and with a single deed he could tip the scales.”
Judaism does not believe in original sin. We may veer astray, and we may need a reminder that we are deeply connected to each other, to God, and to our planet, but we are fundamentally good. We need to find a sense of our own self-worth and the dignity inherent in every human being. And we need to act in ways that honor that dignity.
Personally, I have a few specific concepts I’m focusing on:
Practice humility. In Mussar, true humility means taking up the appropriate amount of space. It means stepping forward when we can offer value, but loosening our ego’s need to be acknowledged in other times. Mainly, it means remembering that we were created and given life by a much higher power and thinking of ourselves within that hierarchy.
I returned from Israel in February vowing to keep Psalm 16:8 in the forefront of my mind. “Shiviti adonai l’negdi tamid – I place God before me always.” It’s “humbling” how many times I’ve forgotten this! This phrase means to me that there are powers at play that I cannot know, and that God is always with me, which is comforting.
Judge others favorably. I have been catching myself slipping into a critical frame of mind, when I’m more likely to make negative assumptions about people that are completely unfounded. I hope to keep front of mind that I need to assume good intentions unless proven otherwise.
Focus on gratitude. There will most likely always be inconveniences in everyday life… internet outages or technology that doesn’t work as it is meant to, waiting for someone who is running late, feeling under the weather. However, I hope to remember my countless blessings and take a deep breath before succumbing to impatience or frustration.
This year will be different, as we will be staring at a screen instead of sitting as a congregation in a synagogue. I enjoy seeing friends and singing together with many other people, but there are lots of benefits to this unique experience too. I do love standing as one congregation and hearing Kol Nidre, but this year I will imagine that I am standing with the entire globe of worshipers, no matter where they may be. Personally, I feel uncomfortable sometimes in our sanctuary when it’s overflowing with people I don’t know. When I’m looking for a friend to sit with or am late for a particular service, I’m worried people are looking at me or that I’m interrupting someone’s prayer. There’s the dressing up, the driving there (and parking blocks away), and the usual negotiation of which services we attend as a family and which I go to alone. I’m so happy that this year will be peaceful and calm. Theoretically, one could go to any synagogue in the world, as all services are online. We also have some special baking and cooking we’ll be doing to make the holiday extra sweet.
My wish for you now and all year long is abundant health, well-being, sweetness, and blessings.
Extra Links:
8 Types of Self-Care & How to Practice Them – intellectual, professional, environmental… so many!
Sign the pledge of interdependence at One Shared World. One united humanity; one shared ecosystem; stronger together.
