Have you ever experienced a time when so many different sources start to coalesce into a single theme or idea? I’ve been experiencing that so much recently! The classes I am taking and some of the reading I’m doing have brought me closer to a spiritual understanding of my purpose and how we are all interconnected.
I’ve always been a seeker and I’ve always been curious. But having the time in the last few years to focus solely on my learning and personal growth has been a huge gift. It began with studying Mussar, which has been ongoing for 5+ years, in order to better understand my natural composition, how I manifest those tendencies in the world, and how to better tame any negative emotions and external behavior.
Because of this path of text study, friendships and conversations, and introspection, I’ve launched myself into learning more about Judaism – the Tanach, mishnah, history, mysticism, famous texts, the Talmud, and even learning Biblical Hebrew. I’ve taken a myriad of online classes and heard countless podcasts that have opened my eyes to how much more there is to know and to understand. I am just at the beginning and it’s wonderful. If I were to spend the next 50 years learning, it would not be enough but I would be so happy.
All of this has given me some confidence that I’m on the right path and has opened me to recognizing and accepting the many gifts in our world and in my life.
Rather than be frustrated with an inconvenient situation, I remember to look for the lesson I could be learning. It’s not an interminable grocery store line; it’s a miracle that there is a place with so much food and so many options!
Instead of counting how much longer until something is over, I use a different lens to see what blessings I might be taking for granted. Even raising my daughter, which has mostly been wonderful but still has its tough moments, I remember that being a parent is a gift and a privilege, that I am shaping an entire person who will go into the world and make her own contribution, and I can simply watch in wonder at this person that I in some small way helped to create. There are times that are slightly annoying, but if they were to be taken away from me, I would regret not appreciating those times too.
I spend most of my day alone, and yet I am far from lonely. I enjoy my teachers and fellow students. We can dive right into issues and topics that are meaningful. I enjoy facilitating Mussar and feeling the participants’ gratitude of my efforts as well as knowing I’m doing something small to help us all improve. I love listening to books and podcasts while I’m working on a diamond painting or driving to and from school. My head is full of ideas and thoughts that are complex and wondrous. I am usually in the middle of a number of books (hence, this post).
No, I don’t spend much time chatting on the phone or shopping or meeting friends for coffee, though I do that too sometimes. I feel busy and fulfilled. I’m just now settling down into the permission that this pandemic has given me to stay home, enjoy my hobbies and studies and family, and sink into the quiet.
It was a very productive month. My classes are going well and obviously I read a great deal…
The books I’ve read this month were hugely varied, though I enjoyed all of them. I hope you find one or two you might like to read.
The Stranger in the Lifeboat: A Novel by Mitch Albom
I just had to read this when I read the plot: Ten people survive a shipwreck and are stranded at sea and they take in a man who says he is the Lord. It’s a quick read and action-packed, but the lesson at the heart of the novel is what has stayed with me. I have been thinking about this book long after I finished it. It’s about suffering, faith, loss, and what makes a life well-lived.
“The power of misery is its long shadow. It darkens everything within view. But this orange raft and its hidden notebook? They were a jolt to that misery. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the idea that something—even a few pages of something—had endured a tragedy and crossed an ocean to find him. It had survived. And witnessing survival can make us believe in our own.”
Her Hidden Genius: A Novel by Marie Benedict
I have been waiting for January 25, the publication date for this novel and for Fiona Davis’ new one, which I’m in the middle of now (it’s good!). Benedict tells the story of Rosalind Franklin, who discovered the molecular structure of DNA, the building blocks of life, but whose excellent research was used to further other men’s careers. I was disappointed with this book… she usually tells such great descriptive tales of women in history, and this one about the life of a female scientist who contributed so significantly to research and yet whose recognition was long-delayed should have been excellent in Benedict’s hands. Part One was engaging; Part Two was tedious; Part Three was too quick of a resolution. Not her usual work, I’m sorry to say.
“It is in these moments that I wonder—despite my love of and commitment to science—if I have chosen the right track… But then, I watch as these women ensure that their husbands and brothers are well served before they fill their own plates with food and keep constant watch on their needs as the dinner progresses. Even Mamie, who is a force in her political realm, seems to make herself small in the presence of these men—her voice, her opinions, her very being. I cannot lead this life of diminution, even if it is a noble, traditional existence in its way. I am a scientist, first and always, and I must carry on in its name for all of humankind.”
The Color of Love: A Story of a Mixed-Race Jewish Girl by Mara B. Gad
I listened to Mara Gad read her book on Audible because was coming to speak at our congregation and I wanted to see if I would like to attend. I appreciate her story and how she tells it with her whole heart, but I don’t know that it was anything uncommon, as she thinks she is. The second half of this book was about her helping her racist Aunt Netty into a home nearby, who was under conservatorship of the state. I didn’t find it very relevant to her story of accepting herself, though it was important to the kind of person she wants to be.
Interestingly, and more of the synchronicity I was talking about earlier, I just read that the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) is beginning a fellowship program called “Collaborative for Change” for Jews of color to combat hate through arts and education. It will be based on the idea that “antisemitism and racism overlap and intersect in ways that are uniquely harmful to Jews of Color” and will be led by Tema Smith, a biracial Jew of Ashkenazi and Caribbean-American descent, who was recently hired as ADL’s director of Jewish outreach and partnerships.
“I really do believe that we are all more alike than different, but I have always felt different; been seen as different… Being “othered” makes you extremely aware of the culture of sameness that, to me, is all around. It is the voice that dictates who is beautiful, what is fashionable, who is important, who can be successful. From the time I was a young girl through my 40’s, I used to pray I would wake up the next morning somehow different… a little more the same… a little less conspicuous. And yes, oftentimes that prayer included praying that I would wake up and be white. Than I would look just like all the Ashkenazi Jewish girls who populated the world around me.”
Rhapsody: A Novel by Mitchell James Kaplan
I can’t say I loved this one, but it held my attention. It’s a love story between two musicians, set in the Jazz Age in New York. If true, it’s nice to get some behind-the-scenes looks at shows and music of the time.
“What these people saw in George Gershwin was the personification of their dream – an immigrant son who had achieved wealth. American prosperity hammered in factories of tin pan alley riveted with Pittsburgh steel. The child of an alien ethnicity, who had not only mastered the techniques and fashions of European high culture, but who had helped reinterpret that culture, chipping away its pretensions for a rugged new world. Because he dared to be uniquely and truly American, without apology, he had earned the esteem of European composers and playgoers in London and Paris. What Kay observed in that multitude of faces and heard in those cheers was not merely pride, but hope. Hope for shared culture built on mutual respect.”
Five Tuesdays in Winter: Stories by Lily King
Amazing. The way King writes makes me want to read this again and again. I doled each story out, one per night, and I would be so excited to get to bed each night. The characters are real and tender and each of these stories hit my heart. Highly recommend.
“I don’t know how other people do it, not stay with the girl whose ankle socks made your stomach flip at age fourteen, whose wet hair smells like your past—the girl who was with you the very moment you were introduced to happiness.”
Einstein and the Rabbi: Searching for the Soul by Rabbi Naomi Levy
This was another audiobook. Levy is a rabbi in Los Angeles and the author of many books on my shelf. Her sweet and calming voice told me heartwarming stories of people she’s counseled about loss, hope, fear of death, marriage, and uniting intention with action. I can’t really say enough… I have so many pages marked with beautiful quotes!
“There is a kind of voice in your head. She’s always been there taking care of you and teaching you. She’s your soul, and she’s always showing you the way to your true calling and your holy destiny. Your soul has high and mighty powers to help you and lift you and change you. May you learn to hear her.”
“When we learn to take three steps back, we may be surprised by a breakthrough. We have the power to make room for something real, for something honest and immediate. We have the power to make room for welcoming an unexpected blessing…. When we practice taking three steps back, we may indeed find ourselves in a new place. We may see our souls standing before us full of strength and wisdom, ready to show us the way to a life of meaning and the fulfillment of our divine purpose.”
Do I Kneel or Do I Bow? What You Need to Know When Attending Religious Occasions by Akasha Lonsdale
I read this for a class I am currently taking about beliefs and rituals in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. Fairly basic, but since I don’t know enough about other traditions and histories, it was very practical and helpful. It covers rituals and lifecycle events like birth, marriage, sickness, healing, and death.
Squirrel Hill: The Tree of Life Synagogue Shooting and the Soul of a Neighborhood by Mark Oppenheimer
Having lived in Squirrel Hill and walked the streets and places described, this was so real for me to read. I had to read it after Colleyville, and it had been sitting on my kindle for quite awhile. I know some of the people mentioned and certainly know the streets and buildings. Oppenheimer tells the story of the shooting from many perspectives and the life stories of those involved. But primarily, this is a book about how the neighborhood healed. Oppenheimer wondered if Squirrel Hill (with its many ethnic and religious groups living together, its deep roots, and the overwhelming support from the non-Jewish community) could be a model for other communities of resilience and strength in adversity. Highly recommend.
“Just as the shooting was an event unique in the annals of American Jewish history, the affected neighborhood was unique, too, and thus presented the perfect opportunity to look for answers to some very interesting questions. This was a neighborhood of joiners. Would it help people’s recovery that the victims, many of their relatives, and those who survived the attack all belonged to houses of worship? What about faith in God, for those who had it? And what about the neighborhood’s longevity—how much did it matter that Jews had been here for a century, and that many of these Jews today were third- or fourth-generation residents?”
“But this book is about the people who stopped what they were doing, then did something different, at least for a time. Their response to a uniquely bloody slaughter of Jews transcended religion, ethnicity, and family ties; it teaches us something about the power of proximity, how the streets we walk affect how we treat each other. This book is about people who cared about this shooting, in particular those who faced it together, because they had no choice, because they were neighbors.”
The Printed Letter Bookshop by Katherine Reay
Girl inherits bookstore; girl finds love and life path. Boring but still, empath that I am, I cried at the end!
“That’s what books do, Maddie used to say; they are a conversation, and introduce us to ourselves and to others.”
Moonlight Over Paris: A Novel by Jennifer Robson
I listened to this audiobook on Libro.fm as a respite from some other serious books I’m reading. It’s a delightful romance and self-discovery story of an English woman who is an art student in 1920s Paris.
“Most of us spend our whole lives with our heads down walking in circles. It never occurs to us to want anything more so we cling to what’s safe, what we know.”
The Editor: A Novel by Steven Rowley
I think I saw this in an Indie Next advertisement and it sounded fun. Author gets his big break and his editor is none other than Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis. His novel is autobiographical; he has a blocked relationship with his mother and their relationship feels like it’s on hold. There’s forgiveness, growth, and reconciliation. Pretty good. 3 stars.
“And just like that, I’ve completed the slow climb to the top of a roller coaster. I’m about to experience the first drop and people all around me are clutching their hats and sunglasses and screaming in both fear and exhilaration and my mouth is open to scream as well, but no sound comes out. The feeling is so intense I have to look down to make sure my chair hasn’t collapsed again.”
“I think we ache for the certainty of our past, perhaps, more so than the goodness of it. Writers open themselves to many perspectives, they put themselves in their characters’ shoes. It muddies your image of things. Much easier to see the past through a single lens, but it’s never the whole story, is it.”
The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab
I wanted to see what all the hoopla was about… #1 indie pick, Book of the Year finalist, etc. I don’t even know how to describe the plot. A woman from a small life 1700s France makes a Faustian deal to live forever, except she cannot be remembered or leave a trace. Also, in 1990s New York, a man who is heartbroken makes a deal for a short life, but everyone will absolutely love him. They meet, and it’s an amazing love story. And the writing… ah. Beautiful. There are many, many quotes and I chose this one at random. If you called me while I was reading this book, apologies for not answering the phone. Highly recommend listening to it as an audiobook.
“I don’t understand. Why end their lives as they are reaching their peak?” He looks at her. “They made their deal. They knew the cost.” “Why would anyone trade a lifetime of talent for a few years of glory?” Luke’s smile darkens. “Because time is cruel to all and crueler still to artists. Because vision weakens and voices wither and talent fades.” He leans close, twists a lock of her hair around one finger. Because happiness is brief and history is lasting and in the end,” he says, “everyone wants to be remembered.” The words are a knife, cutting swift and deep.
The Post-Birthday World: A Novel by Lionel Shriver
One woman’s future told in a parallel-universe alternative structure. Does she remain with her long-time partner or leave to marry another? OMG I could not wait for this looooong book to end! I do not recommend. Interesting idea, but way overplayed.
“Lovers communicate not inside sentences, but between them. Passion lurks within interstice. It is grouting rather than bricks.”
“Desire was its own reward, and a rarer luxury than you’d think. You could sometimes buy what you wanted; you could never buy wanting it. While it might be possible to squelch a desire, to turn from it, the process didn’t seem to work in reverse; that is, you couldn’t make yourself yearn for something when you plain didn’t. It was the wanting that Irina wanted. She longed to long; she pined to pine.”
What It’s Like to Be a Bird: From Flying to Nesting, Eating to Singing—What Birds Are Doing, and Why by David Allen Sibley
I’ve learned some great facts from this little book. My family may be sick of hearing about it! Its short chapters about what it’s like to be a bird in comparison to being human just fascinated me. For example: 1) Birds can navigate by the stars, by tracking the sun’s movements and position, by ultra-low-frequency sounds, and even by using smell. 2) Birds lose 10 percent of their body weight overnight… If you “ate like a bird” you might eat more than twenty-five large pizzas each day. 3) Birds have the ability to restore damaged hearing by growing new hair cells inside their ear, something humans cannot do.
“Birds generally have excellent eyesight, and one of the ways they surpass human vision is in their field of view—the spread of their surroundings that can be seen simultaneously. Human eyes are positioned to focus together on a single point, and if we hold still we can see about half of our surroundings (although we only see detail in one tiny point at the center of our vision). The snipe, like many other sandpipers and ducks, can see the entire 360 degrees around, and a full 180 degrees overhead, all at the same time. And instead of seeing a small area in fine detail, they see detail in a wide horizontal band in each eye. Imagine being able to see the entire sky and horizon, and some detail along most of the horizon, without turning your head.”
The Answer Is… Reflections on My Life by Alex Trebek
I love Jeopardy and I have always wanted to know more about its host of 37 years. Plus I miss him. Trebek says in his Introduction that he’s “never seen himself as anything special” and that he decided to write the book after he received so many heartfelt, supportive well-wishes after he announced his diagnosis with Stage IV pancreatic cancer and wanted to respond to so many caring people. “Like most people, I want to be liked. And I want them to know a little bit more about the person they have been cheering on for the past year… This is not going to be a standard memoir. We’re just hitting the highlights – a series of quick look-ins… What is he like? What has he done? How did he screw up? Things like that. Except for contributing the occasional Jeopardy clue, I’m not a writer and I especially do not feel comfortable writing about myself…”
I’ve had this book on my kindle for awhile now, but I saw that Chirp had a great deal on the audiobook and I am so glad I listened to the narrative. Trebek reads some chapters, but the bulk of the audiobook is read with perfect humor and inflection by Ken Jennings, long-time champion that I love (I’ve read his 2 books.) They have a little back and forth at a couple of places too. I so enjoyed learning more about where Trebek grew up, what his parents were like, the trouble he repeatedly got himself into as a kid, his love of cars and tools and Sinatra, and how he found his career in radio/tv. He has done a lot of charitable work in Africa. His favorite animal is the musk ox. He loves silliness. It’s a quick read and quite enjoyable. I admit I teared up at the very end.
I have a few other quotations to share in a separate post, but this one cracks me up:
“For years, my breakfast of choice was a Snickers and a Diet Coke. Then my doctor lectured me about changing it. So now, it’s a Kit Kat and a Diet Pepsi.”
Dear America: Notes of an Undocumented Citizen by Jose Antonio Vargas
Vargas’ mother put him on a plane in the Philippines when he was 12 years old. He came to America to live with his grandparents, legal citizens of America. After he discovers that he is not a citizen, he feels unsettled, not sure where or how he fits in. He has some generous supporters that help him through school and in his first journalism jobs and he quickly rises to prominence in the media and political news. The overall theme of this book is about how one must hide from the government while still paying taxes, what it’s like to not belong when you feel like you do, and that there is not a path to legal citizenship for these millions of people. Vargas helped start the nonprofit “Define American” to focus on changing the culture in which immigrants are seen. Check it out!
“With some notable exceptions… the mainstream media’s coverage of immigration is lackluster at best and irresponsible at worst, promoting and sustaining stereotypes while spreading misinformation. Television is the worst culprit. Facts often take a back seat to what this or that political figure has to say about immigrants. Context is the invisible ghost that haunts many tv segments, radio hits, and news articles. Most journalists and media influencers… do not know basic information about immigration or how the system works… or doesn’t.”
“Race was a tangible torturous black or white thing in a country where conversations about how you identify and who you represent largely fall into two extremes. Non-black, non-white people have to figure out which side they fell on and to which degree. In my early formative days in America, while observing my classmates and watching tv and movies, I learned that race was as much about behavior, perceived behavior, expected behavior, as it was about physicality…”
Next month:
- The Magnolia Palace by Fiona Davis
- Honey from the Rock: An Easy Introduction to Jewish Mysticism by Lawrence Kushner
- It Could Happen Here: Why America is Tipping from Hate to the Unthinkable – and How We Can Stop It by Jonathan Greenblatt
- Hate in the Homeland: The New Global Far Right by Cynthia Miller-Idriss
