September books

School is in session! Sweet Girl is doing amazing. She has her desk setup in her room and logs into each class, participates, does her homework, and seems to be enjoying it. The school is very welcoming and encouraging… every morning from 8:30-9, they have special learning sessions: a 15-person connection group twice a week, a principal talk twice a week (today’s was about setting big goals), and their “house principal” has a Friday session.

I’ve lost 23 pounds so far. The weather here is finally glorious so I went for a walk the past couple of days instead of my swim. It’s nice to be able to go outside without wilting! And we are all currently sitting on the back porch doing our individual work.

I finished the Jerusalem photo diamond painting and am working on some smaller ones. It took me a month.

I’ll be doing Tracy Clark’s Picture Fall photo prompt project this month and her Picture Gratitude next month. I started with Picture Color about 10 years ago and have loved her classes. This one is as simple or as involved as you want it to be. You can join the Facebook group and comment on other people’s photos, or just take them for yourself as a fun personal challenge.

Picture Fall (October 1st – 31st) is the perfect way to spend the new season engaged in a creative photography project. Soothe your soul, nurture your spirit, and have some fun with the gift of simple, accessible creativity with me and a community of other photo-loving friends. For $5 off use the coupon code FIVE upon checkout.

Fun links:

What To Do When Your Need to Please is Ruining Your Life on Tiny Buddha

This episode of Creatives Get Real podcast called “What Holds You Back?” on overcoming creative challenges, feeling like an imposter, and comparing yourself to others.

7 Universal Truths That Will Change Your Life on Mike Dooley’s TUT. I love #2 about sharing your gifts and #5 about listening to your intuition.

OK on to the books!

Everything Is Spiritual: Who We Are and What We’re Doing Here by Rob Bell

However solid life may appear, it’s also very, very fragile.” I love Rob Bell for telling it like it is. He was selling out stadiums on Oprah’s tour while going through so much transition and self-doubt. Here, he shares his thought processes “behind the scenes” and how he comes to know that “everything is spiritual, you’ve always belonged, the whole thing is an endless invitation.” I have 51 highlighted passages, so I’ll just share a few here.

“There’s a humility baked into curiosity. You don’t know—that’s your starting point. You’re coming from a place of openness, driven by a conviction that there’s something more, something beyond you, something else out there. Curiosity is an antidote to despair. Despair is the spiritual disease of believing that tomorrow will simply be a repeat of today. Nothing new. The future simply an unbroken string of todays, one after another. But curiosity, curiosity disrupts despair, insisting that tomorrow will not be a repeat of today. Curiosity whispers to you, You’re just getting started …”

The title comes from the fact that there is not a word in the Torah for ‘spiritual,’ “because to call something spiritual would be to imply that other things aren’t. In the Bible, everything is spiritual. All of life. It’s never just a job, you’re never just a mom or just a dad, it’s never just money, it’s never just your body. Nothing exists in isolation, it’s all connected.”

Bell takes issue with some of the “Christian” pastors and mega-churches that have a public persona and then their real, questioning selves. The dishonesty and business side of it bothers him.

There are so many meaningful excerpts I could share! I’ll settle for these:

“All of life permeated with the divine presence, all of it sacred. I saw how the Bible isn’t a book about how to get into heaven, it’s a library of poems and letters and stories about bringing heaven to earth now, about this world becoming more and more the place it should be.”

“The mind thinks, the soul knows. You need mind to navigate the path, you need soul to know whether this is even the right path.”

“There’s only this one reality, and in it everything is connected to everything else. This reminded me of an ancient Jewish prayer called the Shema. It’s in the book of Deuteronomy, and it has this line about how the divine is one. The Hebrew word for one there is the word echad, which is a oneness made up of multiple parts. Like a unified community. All divisions take place within a unity. All parts exist within wholes. All wholes form one whole. Everything that appears to have nothing to do with everything else is, in the end, connected to everything else.”

Becoming a Soulful Educator: How to Bring Jewish Learning from Our Minds, to Our Hearts, to Our Souls–And Into Our Lives by Aryeh Ben David

I am currently taking a course on prayer with Aryeh and have been eager to read this book. His point of view is from Judaism, but his ideas can be applied to any faith. He draws on Parker Palmer’s educational philosophy, as well as key Jewish thought leaders. He presents six steps to help educators teach to the heart, engage students, and enable students to authentically and personally integrate Jewish wisdom into their lives. He offers guidance for how teachers can share their own vulnerabilities to help students gain new clarity on their own infinite potential for positive change. 

“By imagining and envisioning our better selves, we are already moving toward a new and better future. For me to become my best self, I first need to imagine a better version of myself and then reflect on what is holding me back from getting there… Soulful Education is always future based.”

My favorite aspect of the guide for a class lesson is that it closely follows the mussar structure of a meeting. My favorite quotation: “The difference between listening 100 percent and 80 percent is not 20 percent. Is is an entirely different experience.”

Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness by Rick Hanson, PhD

This guide is full of concrete suggestions, experiential practices, personal examples, and insights into the brain. It includes effective ways to interact with others and to repair and deepen important relationships.

“As you become more resilient, you’re more able to meet your needs in the face of life’s challenges and greater well-being will result. Every human being has three basic needs: safety [shelter], satisfaction [food], and connection [bonding]… We meet our needs in four major ways: by recognizing what’s true; resourcing ourselves; regulating thoughts, feelings, and actions; and relating skillfully to others and the wider world. When we apply these four ways to the three needs we all have, that suggests 12 primary inner strengths…”

So in Part 1, Recognizing, the chapters are Compassion, Mindfulness, and Learning. In Resourcing, they are Grit, Gratitude, and Confidence. In Regulating, they are Calm, Motivation, and Intimacy. And in Relating, they are Courage, Aspiration, and Generosity.

“Resilience is more than managing stress and pain and recovering from loss and trauma. People who are resilient are also able to pursue opportunities in the face of challenges. They are able to start doing things that are beneficial, to stop doing things that are harmful, and to keep on going day after day without getting too stressed about it.”

“Anticipated rewards are frequently disappointing. Even the best experiences are impermanent.  These two facts can create a chronic sense that something is missing, something is wanting.  This pushes us to keep seeking the next shiny object, the next experience.  Even when you’re feeling at ease with no problem to solve and no need for anything else, see if you can notice a kind of auto-wanting in the back of your mind, an ongoing scanning for something new to want, even when you are already satisfied… embedded in this auto-wanting is also an underlying feeling of restlessness and a subtle sense that the moment, every moment, is never fully satisfactory as it is. This hunger for the next thing pulls us away from appreciating what we have and toward wanting what we lack.  It’s poignant that we habitually seek satisfaction with a mindset shaded with dissatisfaction, which holds complete contentment always just out of reach.”

Nobody Will Tell You This But Me: A true (as told to me) story by Bess Kalb

Sweet memories of her grandmother, as if told by her. The relationship between granddaughter and grandmother in this book is very close, fun, accepting, and loving. A friend asked me to read this, one of her favorite books of all time. I think that would be because she understands a grandmother’s fierce protection of her family and how difficult it can be to let go. This one was not for me, but a good read nonetheless.

“What have I always told you, Bessie? What have I always said? You’re my angel. I am you. I’m the bones in your body and the blood that fills you up and the meat around your legs. I’m the softness of your cheeks and the way they freckle in the summer, and I’m the streaks of rust in your hair, and I’m the nose under your nose and the eyes that narrow with fire and roll backward in delight at all the same things. I’m your style. I’m your laugh. I’m the rage in your heart that I’m not here. You’re the body I left behind. I made sure of that. From the moment I met you, I never stopped telling you my stories. Because nobody will write them but you.”

Radical Self-Forgiveness: The Direct Path to True Self-Acceptance by Colin Tipping

It can be so much easier to forgive others than to offer forgiveness to ourselves. I heard someone talk about Tipping’s “Radical Forgiveness” process in a discussion about sorrow. I chose this one to quiet my inner critic, learning about his first book’s precepts in the Introduction. It’s a concept that I like but can’t quite fully accept… that things unfold as they are divinely meant to and there are many aspects of a situation we cannot see or control. Often things happen to us for our own benefit. This fits into the Mussar concept of “tests” we face for the opportunity to grow.

The Lost and Found Bookshop: A Novel by Susan Wiggs

This is the exact same story I’ve read a lot lately… woman with broken heart and no direction inherits bookstore, finds satisfaction and love, overcomes financial struggles, and lives happily ever after. I liked it anyway. It was a lighthearted read and had engaging characters.

“When she was very small, her mother used to tell her that books were alive in a special way. Between the covers, characters were living their lives, enacting their dramas, falling in and out of love, finding trouble, working out their problems. Even sitting closed on a shelf, a book had a life of its own. When someone opened the book, that was when the magic happened.”

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How true are our beliefs?

Are our beliefs really TRUE? What lies underneath these beliefs?

Knowledge can be a barrier to understanding. We try to filter new information through what we already know, making it fit with our already-formed mental file folders. There is a natural resistance to dismantling those long-standing files. We cling to our system of understanding the world around us.

These systems form our identity, life choices, and behavior. We may go to a particular church, form particular friendships, act in specific ways and attend local events… all because of how we were taught to think or because of our mental framework of how the world operates.  

It isn’t a big deal to admit that we were wrong about a fact… that building isn’t the largest in the world anymore, or someone went to a different college than we thought originally.  We can revise that individual file folder or even toss it into the recycling bin. However, if a new piece of information arrives that does not fit into our system of beliefs and knowledge, it may get blocked.  Why?

Climate change. Fascism intruding upon our democracy. Science.  What is appropriate in public discourse. Morality in general. 

I am fairly sure that a large portion of our country is experiencing this resistance right now. New ideas are being perceived as harmful… they go against long-standing structures they know to be true. Perhaps they were true for a long while, but new information is trying to flow into those systems, and it’s getting blocked. Millions are pretending a systemic national problem does not exist, ignoring injustice and hatred, simply excusing the president’s many insulting remarks because they don’t fit with what they believe to be true. 

Is it fear? It can be frightening to face the fact that who you have been may not be who you are now or who you want to be going forward

What will it take to allow truth in? What will it take to allow us rise above our fixed mental constructs and resistance? 

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How I lost 20 pounds in three months

I admit it. I’m judgemental of overweight people. I see it as a lack of discipline, a weakness. Even when it applies to myself.

This is not a how-to post about eating celery and drinking lots of water while swinging upside down. All I am doing is eating fewer calories each day (1200 to be specific) and expending more calories than that (exercising as well). It’s not rocket science, but boy is it hard! I have just the same amount to still lose to reach my goal, but I’m not worried because I am already on the right path and seeing positive results and benefits. (Key: those long-term benefits outweigh the short-term appeal of a cookie or pasta.)

I was in a never ending cycle of awareness and then judgement. Awareness of the problem. Judgement of myself. Of course I knew that I couldn’t keep eating as I was eating, but I don’t think I was quite aware of the extent of the weight gain. I was not getting on a scale or focusing on body image. Once I realized and was shocked by the number on the scale, I was awful to myself. In my head, I berated my choices and felt terrible.

“This is not a joke, Naomi. Life is given to you as a gift. You have to be worthy of it. Stop taking advantage of your body and start using it to the best of its abilities. The purpose of your body is to help you do good things in the world. It’s not meant to be a receptacle for Doritos and Dove chocolate. Your priorities are all awack. Put in good things in order to be able to do good things.”

First, I had bring in some self-compassion. “I accept the part of myself that likes sweets” and “Life has had lots of ups and downs lately and stress eating is a fairly normal reaction. Plus, I was focused on many other things.” I saw how I got to the low point and started forgiving myself for it. Almost. This part can also be a trick… I was giving myself excuses to keep doing it.

Second, I had to sink into self-acceptance. And sink is the word for it! I felt soooo heavy, weighted down with extra burdens. I had to truly see the situation without turning away. I had to acknowledge the creaks and cracks in my body as I walked down stairs, the difficulty getting up from the floor, the lack of energy I had all the time. It turns out that I’m not 25 and I’m not a metabolism machine anymore.

Accepting things as they are, including yourself, helps you deal with them more effectively. And so I accepted what I’d done to myself and that I’d actually made everyday life much more difficult by adding an extra 40 pounds to carry around. I also acknowledged that there is nothing I can do about my past choices. However, I can learn from them in many ways. I know that I have certain tendencies and I need to work harder at the discipline required to counteract them. I know that I need to train myself to develop some healthier habits. I know that I need to cook healthier food at home.

Then, I had to overcome the internal resistance. It took me a long time (maybe a year) to overcome this. I just didn’t want to put forth any effort. I don’t have advice for you in this department, but I can say that I ultimately used motivation to swing that pendulum toward overcoming my negative attitude.

Find your motivation. Maybe you want a fit body, a healthy heart, or a longer lifespan. To find my motivation, I tricked myself (without even knowing it)! That’s talent, folks.

I saw an advertisement for some diet pills on Facebook, “magic” pills that make your body burn calories faster with absolutely no effort on your part. I ordered them.

In the 2-3 weeks between ordering them and their arrival, eventually realizing that magic is not real, I found myself getting more and more excited about losing weight. (I did not take any pills but I could not return them…. scam?) Maybe someone would call it “creative visualization.” I saw myself fitting into my clothes again, having tons of energy to play with my daughter, feeling so much more self-confident in my own skin. I literally could not wait for this to be my reality.

So I started on my own. Maybe there is not a magic pill (except for antidepressants… as far as I’m concerned, those are magic), but the weight loss numbers game is fun too… burn more calories than you take in. Simple. I can do that!

Here’s my recipe for success:

Pick a method that agrees with your tendencies. I am an all or nothing person. I commit to something and I put all of myself into it. So I do not allow slipups in any way. There are a few treats built into my 1200 calories and otherwise, no thanks. (There will no longer be Girl Scout cookies stored by the case in my living room, thank goodness. Those Peanut Butter Patties were no joke!) But maybe you are able to overdo it one day and then underdo it the next. Do what works for you.

Track your calories. I downloaded MyFitnessPal back on my iphone to record my food. I also promised myself that I would exercise in some way every day for 15 minutes. Knowing exactly where I stand with the numbers throughout the day helps me tremendously. I put in breakfast, lunch, and dinner and then can figure in snacks along the way.

Find alternate enjoyable experiences and ways to lower stress. The momentary relief I was getting from chocolate fed my brain dopamine, norepinephrine, and natural opiates. My brain circuitry rewarded these experiences with temporary calm and lowered stress hormones.

I like to play with our cat, call (who are we kidding?) text friends, play games with my family, take walks and enjoy being alive. There’s always something in my own mind that I can find to entertain myself too. I write, read, do some art… anything that my brain or body finds enjoyable.

Stay busy. Doing diamond painting keeps my hands busy. I also have had very little time lately to sit and read, which is when I start looking for something to munch on. I’m taking Hebrew and Mussar classes, facilitating a Mussar group, and taking care of my family and home. I also chew lots of sugar-free gum.

It’s the little things that add up over time that make the largest difference. Day in, day out repetition of these choices… will lead to lasting changes in the nervous system, forming new habits and coping skills. Bonus: being good to yourself is good for others too! I’m full of energy.

Does this make you want to join me??? You can do this! Strap on some discipline and let’s go!

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New beginnings

The Jewish High Holidays begin this Friday evening. We are to spend the month prior to the New Year in prayer, repentance, and reflection.  I think going into these worship services without spending some time in self-reflection is like showing up to a final exam without attending any of the classes. What is the point?

Mussar master Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe taught that one of the most important things we can do for our spiritual lives is to give ourselves some time each day alone in contemplation. In these days leading up to Rosh Hashanah, we spend a good deal of time preparing ourselves for a new beginning.

One of the coolest things I have heard recently was on a Jewish Inspiration podcast by Rabbi Yaakov Wolbe (yes, grandson of Shlomo) called “The Essence of Elul.” In it, he tells that spiritual time is cyclical, not linear. Every year when we enter a particular day, any day but let’s say Rosh Hashanah, we are re-entering the spiritual properties of all of the Rosh Hashanahs in the past (and the future too, I’d guess). That is one way that we can say that we really all were present at Mt. Sinai. This cycle of time is fascinating to me. We are connected in unimaginable ways to those who came before us and those who will be alive long after we are gone.

He also asks the main question of these holidays: What is keeping you from being your best self? What do you need in order to move past it?

This is the time when the universe was formed, and we think of these holidays as if the world were being reborn.  What kind of world do we wish to create together? It’s also as if we are being born anew.  What kind of person do we wish to be? Of course, every moment is an opportunity to begin again, but milestones and spiritual times like this can sometimes make it easier to recognize our part in creating the kind of life we desire. If we tweak a few things, God will meet us halfway and actualize change in our lives.

What a challenge this past year has been! I recognize that we are so privileged to be able to review the past year and make changes to our lives.  I imagine a more equal and compassionate society, one where there is no suffering, pandemic, injustice, or inequity. We have experienced loss of life on a massive scale, which tempers some of the joy and blessing I am feeling right now. There is so much work to be done and I wish to do my part.

As we assess our past actions and we hope for blessings in the coming year, we are to think about what we can change in ourselves in order to realize a world where there is no oppression, stereotyping, or mistreatment of “the other,” whatever that may be in people’s minds. As Maimonides wrote in his code of law, “Each person must see himself as though the entire world were held in balance and with a single deed he could tip the scales.”

Judaism does not believe in original sin.  We may veer astray, and we may need a reminder that we are deeply connected to each other, to God, and to our planet, but we are fundamentally good. We need to find a sense of our own self-worth and the dignity inherent in every human being. And we need to act in ways that honor that dignity.

Personally, I have a few specific concepts I’m focusing on:

Practice humility. In Mussar, true humility means taking up the appropriate amount of space. It means stepping forward when we can offer value, but loosening our ego’s need to be acknowledged in other times. Mainly, it means remembering that we were created and given life by a much higher power and thinking of ourselves within that hierarchy.

I returned from Israel in February vowing to keep Psalm 16:8 in the forefront of my mind. “Shiviti adonai l’negdi tamid – I place God before me always.” It’s “humbling” how many times I’ve forgotten this!  This phrase means to me that there are powers at play that I cannot know, and that God is always with me, which is comforting.

Judge others favorably. I have been catching myself slipping into a critical frame of mind, when I’m more likely to make negative assumptions about people that are completely unfounded. I hope to keep front of mind that I need to assume good intentions unless proven otherwise.

Focus on gratitude. There will most likely always be inconveniences in everyday life… internet outages or technology that doesn’t work as it is meant to, waiting for someone who is running late, feeling under the weather. However, I hope to remember my countless blessings and take a deep breath before succumbing to impatience or frustration.

This year will be different, as we will be staring at a screen instead of sitting as a congregation in a synagogue. I enjoy seeing friends and singing together with many other people, but there are lots of benefits to this unique experience too. I do love standing as one congregation and hearing Kol Nidre, but this year I will imagine that I am standing with the entire globe of worshipers, no matter where they may be. Personally, I feel uncomfortable sometimes in our sanctuary when it’s overflowing with people I don’t know. When I’m looking for a friend to sit with or am late for a particular service, I’m worried people are looking at me or that I’m interrupting someone’s prayer. There’s the dressing up, the driving there (and parking blocks away), and the usual negotiation of which services we attend as a family and which I go to alone. I’m so happy that this year will be peaceful and calm. Theoretically, one could go to any synagogue in the world, as all services are online. We also have some special baking and cooking we’ll be doing to make the holiday extra sweet.

My wish for you now and all year long is abundant health, well-being, sweetness, and blessings.

Extra Links:

8 Types of Self-Care & How to Practice Them – intellectual, professional, environmental… so many!

Sign the pledge of interdependence at One Shared World. One united humanity; one shared ecosystem; stronger together.

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August book/life report – checking in

There’s so much noise in the world, right now, yes? So much division in our country. It all contributes to feeling unsettled and anxious and I vacillate between trying to help bring forward good things and hoping to tune it out and invite calm. We have put together homeless food packs, made beaded keychains for a community organization that provides housing for people in transition from homelessness, and we are sending postcards as part of a civic engagement campaign to contact low-propensity voters of color to help them register and vote. It has been good to involve my daughter and to at least do something good. We also closed our Girl Scouts bank account and donated the money to our food bank because there are so many families who are food insecure in our community right now.

Hate crimes and anti-Semitism are rising exponentially in the U.S. and I am extremely concerned. Racist rhetoric that stems from the very highest office in the land about minorities and immigrants, combined with unemployment, COVID, etc, are an indicator of the weakening of civil society and democracy. So much rests on the upcoming election and I hope you will do everything you can to cast your vote and to help/encourage others to as well. I think that if things do not change, it will be seen as an open invitation to unleash much more hatred and violence.

I strongly believe (and hope) that we are undergoing an enormous shift globally for the positive. Unfortunately, the present tense isn’t so awesome. I am working on trusting the ultimate goal of equality and cooperation.

I have done 4 diamond paintings so far and I love it. I got custom frames from Art To Frames and really like how they look. Now I am working on a HUGE one that’s a picture from my Israel trip.

4 complete diamond paintings with custom frames that I ordered from Art to Frames. Now I am working on a huge custom one of a picture I took in Israel.
Houston and Galveston were outside of Laura’s path.

We had a “fun” hurricane evacuation party with my parents and sister and her family. We had not seen them since February when this all began, but we’d decided beforehand that if they needed to leave their homes on the coast, we’d have them come to our house. The two that are doctors had just tested negative and had not been in contact with any Covid patients, so we assumed we were safe. It was so nice to spend time together again! Even better, the storm did not come our way.

My weight loss continues. I’m eating 1200 calories most days and exercising in some way, either walking or swimming.

I’ve lost 18 pounds so far!!!

We spent a day on Lake Conroe, which is about an hour north of us. We rented a boat for a couple of hours and loved being on the lake.

We are gearing up for virtual school to begin on Tuesday. Middle school! As I type, SG is having a practice run-through where she joins each class for 15 minutes, just to meet the teachers and work through logistics.

OK on to the book report!

I wanted to share this article I found on When to Quit a Book because… so many books, so little time!

Also, 47 Books to Read When You’re in Need of Hope

The Vanishing Half: A Novel by Brit Bennett

Twin light-skinned Black sisters run away from a small southern community take divergent paths; one eventually returns home and the other passes as white in a completely different life.

“Sometimes being a twin had felt like living with another version of yourself. That person existed for everyone, probably, an alternative self that lived only in the mind. But hers was real. Stella rolled over in bed each morning and looked into her eyes. Other times it felt like living with a foreigner. Why are you not more like me? she’d think, glancing over at Desiree. How did I become me and you become you?”

Here’s a bookclub discussion for this book from Read It Forward.

When We Turned Within: Reflections on COVID-19 edited by Menachem Creditor and Sarah Tuttle-Singer

This moment also calls us to form a united camp: not only the Jewish people, but all humanity coming together in the only kind of cosmopolitan universalism that counts: an affirmation of life, of caring, and of hope.

This is a very thoughtful and positive collection of reflections, prayers, and poems from a diverse group of 165 Jewish leaders and lay leaders. I’ve been reading a few a day because they are short (just a few pages each) and heartwarming.

Life Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age by Bruce Feiler

“What happens when we misplace the plot of our lives? When we get sidetracked by one of the mishaps, foul-ups, or reversals of fortune that appear with uncomfortable frequency these days?” This book is about how we reimagine our personal narratives after disruptions and hardships to live a fulfilling life. We are going through transitions much more quickly these days than ever before (a huge disruptor every 12-18 months!), but our coping skills are not keeping up!

“A hallmark of our time is that life is not predictable. It does not unfold in passages, stages, phases, or cycles. It is nonlinear—and getting more so every day. It’s also more manageable, more forgiving of missteps, and more open to personalization, if you know how to navigate the new outbreak of twists and turns.”

Gretchen Rubin recommended this one via BookBub, saying it “has profound implications for how we view and handle the transitions—voluntary and involuntary—that increasingly disrupt our lives.”

The Biggest Bluff: How I Learned to Pay Attention, Master Myself, and Win by Maria Konnikova

“More often than not, it’s not the best hand that wins. It’s the best player.”

Chance is everywhere, but we usually only notice it when it’s not on our side. How much of life is luck and how much is skill? Does the perception of being in control have anything to do with our decision-making? Konnikova is a researcher and writer who spends a year immersed in the world of no limit Texas Holdem Poker. She journeys from amateur to pro and the reader gets a seat right next to her for the whole transformation.

“Real life is based on making the best decisions you can from information that can never be complete: you never know someone else’s mind, just like you can never know any poker hand but your own. Real life is not just about modeling the mathematically optimal decisions. It’s about discerning the hidden, the uniquely human. It’s about realizing that no amount of formal modeling will ever be able to capture the vagaries and surprises of human nature.”

Poker mirrors life – a combination of chance and control. Konnikova reads books, watches pros, and finds a coach in Erik Seidel. They want to see if her understanding of psychology can merge with a knowledge of the math and skill of the game. She talks gender stereotypes, intimidation, mental framing and perception, streamlined decision-making, and the limits of control. Fascinating stuff!

“… hardly ever do we have a chance to learn an entirely new skill, to immerse ourselves in novicedom, not only with the guidance of the best expert in the world but in an area, where the skill-chance continuum is so balanced, so redolent of life, as poker.”

“From managing emotion, to reading other people, to cutting your losses and maximizing your gains, to psyching yourself up into the best version of yourself so that you can not only catch the bluffs of others but bluff successfully yourself, poker is endlessly applicable and revelatory. The mixture of chance and skill at the table is a mirror to that same mixture in our daily lives—and a way of learning to play within those parameters in superior fashion. Poker teaches you how and when you can take true control—and how you can deal with the elements of pure luck—in a way no other environment I’ve encountered has quite been able to do.”

Highly recommend!

Caste (Oprah’s Book Club): The Origins of Our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson

WOW.

“Caste is more than rank, it is a state of mind that holds everyone captive, the dominant imprisoned in an illusion of their own entitlement, the subordinate trapped in the purgatory of someone else’s definition of who they are and who they should be.”

Wilkerson is a Pulitzer winner and here, she looks at the unspoken caste system of race in America. It is amazing, compelling, revolting, and eye-opening.

I have 69 highlighted passages in Goodreads that illuminate many of the themes in the book: how we got to where we are in this country; parallels, overlaps, and contrasts between the caste systems of Nazi Germany, India, and the U.S.; the changes required to become mutually invested in each other’s well-being.

“We cannot fully understand the current upheavals or most any turning point in American history, without accounting for the human pyramid encrypted into us all. The caste system, and the attempts to defend, uphold, or abolish the hierarchy, underlay the American Civil War and the civil rights movement a century later and pervade the politics of twenty-first-century America. Just as DNA is the code of instructions for cell development, caste is the operating system for economic, political, and social interaction in the United States from the time of its gestation.”

SUCH an amazing and necessary book!

This article explains more about why Oprah selected this for her latest book club pick.

What books are you reading that you recommend? Thanks in advance!

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On meaning

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