July check in and book report

Posted on August 3, 2020 by Naomi

Another month has passed and still we are doing our thing at home. Here’s what’s been happening over here:

  • I’ve lost 12 pounds thus far and am on our new treadmill every day. I’m a tiny bit sick of my food routine: oatmeal and yogurt, sandwich and fruit, light dinner, popcorn. I’ve still got a long way to go, but progress is great.
  • I’ve been doing my online classes and some art; SG has been learning video editing skills; Mr. B is working.
  • We heard from school that the first 6-weeks will start 2 weeks late and will be all virtual. 6th grade orientation will be virtual but we will be able to drive over to pick up textbooks, etc. SG is VERY excited and has been looking forward to it for many months. She’s got her desk all set up and ready.
  • A few days ago, SG was offered a place at the private school we originally desperately hoped she would attend. After much soul-searching, we decided to stick with the public school plan we are excited about.
  • I have been facilitating a beginner group of Mussar students and have loved it. I hope to continue meeting with them a couple more times once the official program ended yesterday. They have made some small steps toward being more patient and more balanced and it’s been a privilege to watch them grow and learn from them.
  • I applied to a Masters program in Jewish Studies!

SG and I don’t really mind being at home all the time. We have our routine and the days seem to pass rather quickly. This week she’s doing a virtual pottery painting camp for an hour each morning. I’ve been redesigning my Etsy shop and the print shop for my photography. I am also creating a photo book of February’s Israel trip with photos from all the participants. It’s a lot more to manage than I originally thought!

By the time I get in bed at night, I’m so tuckered out from the day that my eyes are closing soon after I take out a book. Adding in reading time during the day has really helped me, but I’m still not reading as much as I’d like to be. What have you been reading that you’d recommend?

To Heal a Fractured World: The Ethics of Responsibility by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks

An approachable and philosophical book about restoring religion to its true purpose—as a partnership with God in the work of ethical and moral living. Rabbi Sacks writes about Judaism’s ethics to argue against hatred in the name of religion and for a thoughtful responsibility to our fellow humans. I will read this book again and again.

“Judaism is a complex and subtle faith, yet it has rarely lost touch with its simple ethical imperatives. We are here to make a difference, to mend the fractures of the world, a day at a time, an act at a time, for as long as it takes to make it a place of justice and compassion where the lonely are not alone, the poor not without help; where the cry of the vulnerable is heeded and those who are wronged are heard. ‘Someone else’s physical needs are my spiritual obligation’, a Jewish mystic taught. The truths of religion are exalted, but its duties are close at hand. We know God less by contemplation than by emulation. The choice is not between ‘faith’ and ‘deeds’, for it is by our deeds that we express our faith and make it real in the life of others and the world.”

Funny, You Don’t Look Like a Rabbi: A Memoir of Unorthodox Transformation by Rabbi Lynnda Targan

It’s interesting that I read this now because I am on a path of searching for my next step on my spiritual journey. I saw a review of this in Hadassah magazine (I opened right up to it) and started reading the book right then (published in April). In “middle age,” Targan begins studying, which leads to 2 Masters programs and then rabbinical school. I found it incredibly exciting to read about her journey of transformation and reinvention despite setbacks. Highly readable and personal.

“To lift someone up, to shine a light in darkness, to inspire, to make a difference in the life of an individual or a community, and to be a moral agent enacting social change are chief among the highest Judaic values as a spiritual leader, a kli kodesh, a holy vessel.”

Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World’s Most Dangerous Man by Mary L. Trump

I read this on day one out of curiosity, but I am tired of talking about this man. However, this book gave me great insight into how he came to be so pathological. A key point of the book is that of responsibility of all of us:

“There seems to be an endless number of people willing to join the claque that protects Donald from his own inadequacies while perpetuating his unfounded belief in himself. Although more powerful people put Donald into the institutions that have shielded him since the very beginning, it’s people weaker than he is who are keeping him there.”

Becoming Duchess Goldblatt by Anonymous

This one also just came out this month. A real-life writer creates a false Twitter account and gains thousands of followers as she encourages and loves them, creating a community of people who need each other in the best way. This memoir is humorous and entertaining. One of my favorite aspects is the contrast between this character and her real, downtrodden, hopeless life.

“Duchess is a friend to all humanity, which is all well and good as far as it goes, but I don’t mind telling you privately here that it can be a real drag for me. She loves the world. I try to love the world. I mean, in theory, I want to love the world and all humanity. I can certainly see how it would be a good idea.”

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Is this really the best we can be?

Posted on July 16, 2020 by Naomi

“Every day we have a choice. We can take the easier road, the more cynical road, which is a road sometimes based on a dream of a past that never was, fear of each other, distancing and blame, or we can take the much more difficult path, the road of transformation, transcendence, compassion, and love, but also accountability and justice.”

– Jacqueline Novogratz –

A few years ago, I read a book by Ian Bremmer called The J Curve: A New Way to Understand Why Nations Rise and Fall (highly recommend). Bremmer’s essential point was that there is inevitable instability when an authoritarian nation opens and moves toward a liberal democracy, and vice versa.  I remember being struck by the complexity of the world (there are stable regimes and chaotic democracies) and yet certain that the United States of America would always be a democracy.  

I’ve also mainly thought of our country as “a light unto the nations,” a strong symbol of prosperity, equality, opportunity, and hope for the larger world.  When I recently read Samantha Power’s account of her experiences as a reporter and then UN Ambassador, I was amazed at her strong will to make a difference in an upstream fight. Finally, finishing Mary Trump’s riveting account of her family’s extreme pathologies last night, I’m convinced that we are sliding down that J Curve with our deepening social and political divides.

I’m not known for my astute following of the news or for being up on the latest anything, so my husband, a pop culture guru in my eyes, frequently tells me tidbits that he thinks I should know in order to properly function in society.  I am an artist, a mother, more of an academic than a community organizer. So it has been a shock to both of us that since this pandemic began, I am devouring statistics and news stories like mad. When my husband mentions a recent event to me, not only do I already know about it, but I can tell him so much more because of all the newsletters I’m now subscribed to.

I feel a responsibility.

I simply cannot look away because I feel an overwhelming responsibility, like if I bear witness to the disturbing unrest and chaos in America at this moment, I’m doing some small thing. Following the “news” is definitely accelerating my sense of despair and inhibiting me in my parenting role, but my Jewish faith teaches that we may not be silent in the face of injustice.

As one of America’s 331 million citizens and the many others living here who benefit our society, I will not be one of the many complicit when someone 200 years from now reads about the collapse of America’s leadership and democracy in a history book. How did this happen? How could so many people just go along with things? Well, we’ve all seen it time and time again and the ending doesn’t change just because we know better. My mother used to say, “when you know better, you do better.” So what is our excuse this time?

I am a natural empath and I feel others’ suffering or emotion deeply.  I do so much better when I avoid negativity and instead read novels and spend time in study and doing educational and fun activities with my daughter.  I like my bubble, but I’m disturbed and full of angst as I learn about the unrest in our cities, the horror of lynchings down the street from me, Anti-Semitic displays, and sheer ignorance in the face of science. 

We must each use our individual talents and wisdom to benefit and elevate other people and our collective whole. It is with this in mind that I write this with the best of intentions. I don’t know who to call or what else to do to help us. Ideally, putting this out there will make some sort of a positive difference.

I’m losing my optimism.

I’ve been observing myself and my feelings lately and pondering what the appropriate response is. When my family watched the various 4th of July celebrations on TV, I recognized a familiar exhaustion. My heart soars when I see the shining lights at the Lincoln Memorial and hear the US Navy Band playing the 1812 Overture; my heart sinks when I consider the rage and sense of futility that is fueling unrest in our cities.  Sitting next to my 11-year-old daughter, I wanted to be celebratory together, but I had trouble. Sure, we made patriotic cupcakes and donned red, white, and blue, but I didn’t know what to say to her about current events because I’m losing my optimism.  I am despairing and I am naively hopeful at the same time. Showing my daughter all disillusionment is not a possibility for me, nor is it possible for me to blithely sing Stars & Stripes Forever as if there are no traumatic family separations at our border.

This is new terrain for me: having to moderate my feelings for the benefit of a future generation.  When my daughter was born, I had a strong conviction that she is here to help in a positive transformation of some kind. I felt respect and awe right away for whatever role she would play in elevating humanity and I am humbled still at my own place in helping her to get there to do her thing, whatever that is. I realize that sounds a bit nutty, so I don’t talk about it, but I sure do feel confused right now as I spend 14 hours a day with her in our house, day in and day out. I want to put good ideas in her mind and I’m not sure how to best do that, especially when all she wants to do is watch “how to” YouTube videos. What magic combination of connectivity, perseverance, and knowledge will she need to create a meaningful future?

I do not understand the selfishness.

America as presented to the larger world is currently a sham. It began with a small group of priviledged individuals who obliterated most of the native population, selfishly brutalized others in order to elevate themselves, and destroyed any natural reverence of the land in favor of profit.  Most activists over the last 244 years who have urged us to confront our truths have been assassinated or murdered. I do not understand the selfishness we are seeing in those who will not wear a mask to save others from this virus. I do not understand why we can change the name of a rock band but we can’t figure out how to help inner city kids get to college. I don’t know what I can practically do.

It’s not only unAmerican, it’s inhuman.

I know the fragility of life and yet it often feels like no one is in charge here.  The disrespect for others that we are seeing all around us just crushes me. That is not only unAmerican, it’s inhuman. We cannot be “all in this together” when we see babies in cages, our free press being censored, and our malignant narcissist of a hopeless “leader” willing to ignore a global pandemic, to insult world leaders, and to shut down every program that has led to a flourishing and open democracy and go play golf, declaring everything to be rosy.

“This is not who we really are!”

I am so embarrassed on behalf of our country and want to proclaim to the rest of the world, “This is not who we really are!” Cultural exclusivism is not strength or confidence; it is a sign of weakness and fear.  I have a deep uncertainty that our country can overcome these challenges if we do not vote out the sociopath in the White House. I fear that our election may be rigged anyway. If we allow a law to be passed or our elected officials to be silent when they see injustice, we citizens are complicit in our own destruction. 

How do we push forward in the face of such despair? How do we move beyond “us vs. them” and see the interconnectedness we share? How do we get someone to feel that a shivering and hungry homeless person is ourselves? How can we transform this fear of others into compassion and a determination to transform the group?

Despite these things, I am still grateful to live in comfort in this country, terminally optimistic that tomorrow will be better than today. I hope to show my daughter (and myself) that we have agency, that there is the possibility that we are just shy of that tipping point when we will see true unity and equality, a healthier planet, and a global togetherness.  This is a time of enormous challenge, yet there are countless ways to take action.

What will you do?

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June reading report

Posted on July 2, 2020 by Naomi

Only 4 books? I’ve been doing other unimportant things, like my latest obsession, Paint with Diamonds. Sweet Girl and I are together nonstop, sometimes doing our own thing, sometimes playing games or doing art projects together. She is having so much fun right now that I’m worried the child will never leave the house again. She’s baking, learning how to edit videos (we are very impressed with what she can do), and developing some new sewing skills. She’s watched every episode available of several shows too, is reading the Harry Potter series, and calling a couple of friends several times a day. She also does two math mini-lessons a day as assigned by her middle school.

Paint with Diamonds project – tedious but zen-like

I’ve spent time studying Mussar and facilitating groups, which has been a good way to stay mindful during this crazy, insane time. I don’t remember when the last time was that I actually left the house! I’m working on a canvas for a friend’s house too, which is on version 3 because I’m a tough critic.

I’m sure I would be reading more if I weren’t always cooking, cleaning, or making snacks. On a brighter note, Mr. B and I are on a weight loss kick and it’s working! He has been wanting to get healthier for a long time, but for me, I’d put it on the back burner for a couple of years now, ever since Harvey I’d guess, although I’ve exercised rather regularly. I just couldn’t spend any mental bandwidth on food and making good choices. It’s not an excuse, but moving 3 times and building a house really knocked me out for most other projects.

We are simply counting calories and making good choices, and 3.5 weeks in, I have lost 7.8 pounds. 38 to go!! (That makes it sound like an uphill battle, doesn’t it?)

Here’s my embarrassing story of how I found the motivation to finally do this. I’d been focusing more and more on how this added weight is slowing me down and causing my joints to ache. Mr. B was talking about starting a special diet. I saw an ad on Facebook for some sort of magic pill that forces your body into a ketogenic state so you burn fat without having to do anything!! I was so convinced that I bought it. I started imaging how good I’d feel when I lost this weight, how I will fit into my clothes again, etc.

Then the pills came and Mr. B showed me an article about how they cause all sorts of problems in your body. I threw them away after I couldn’t figure out how to return them. But… the original excitement for losing weight got me to decide to do it the hard way. So I’m actually thankful for that scam because it motivated me when nothing else was working.

OK… on to the books!

The Great Influenza: The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History by John M. Barry

“The 1918 pandemic reached an extreme of virulence unknown in any other widespread influenza outbreak in history.” Not only is this a cultural history of our country at the beginning of the 20th century, but it’s full of the history and personalities of medical science at the time. This book is so well-written that at times I thought I was reading fiction, though the descriptions of crowded barracks in WWI brought realism right back to mind. We learn about the establishment of Johns Hopkins and how America caught up with Europe in scientific rigor and accomplishment. This book is fascinating on so many levels. The scientists that Barry profiles changed the nature of medicine.

“The greatest challenge of science, its art, lies in asking an important question and framing it in a way that allows it to be broken into manageable pieces, into experiments that can be conducted that ultimately lead to answers. To do this requires a certain kind of genius, one that probes vertically and sees horizontally. Horizontal vision allows someone to assimilate and weave together seemingly unconnected bits of information. It allows an investigator to see what others do not see, and to make leaps of connectivity and creativity. Probing vertically, going deeper and deeper into something, creates new information. Sometimes what one finds will shine brilliantly enough to illuminate the whole world.”

Afterward, written in 2017: “In 1918, the world population was 1.8 billion, and the pandemic probably killed 50 to 100 million people, with the lowest credible modern estimate at 35 million. Today the world population is 7.6 billion. A comparable death toll today would range from roughly 150 to 425 million.”

The Bookshop of Yesterdays by Amy Meyerson

I really needed a light read while I was reading Samantha Power’s memoir and The Great Influenza, so this was my mental break from those. It’s full of literary clues to solve a family drama/mystery, which I enjoyed, and it’s set in a bookstore, which is the best!

“Maybe we couldn’t return to what we always were to each other because we’d never been as close as I’d assumed we were. My mother knew everything about me. I hardly knew anything about her at all.”

Nothing Is Wrong and Here Is Why: Essays by Alexandra Petri

“Before, for instance, there were certain things that we could not imagine a president would say. There were certain things, for instance, that we could not imagine a president would do. There were certain people, for instance, that we could not imagine would be placed in charge of anything, let alone the government of the United States of America. But no longer!”

It’s refreshing to read some smart, ironic essays about the insanity that is politics right now. My favorite is a short example of how the purchase of a congressman’s office furniture could have totaled almost one million dollars. The book got a little repetitive after awhile, for me, and I skimmed through the last half.

“It has been sixty years and you have barely crossed the span from Monday until Tuesday. You entered the week comparatively young and spry and now you are a withered and wretched crone, demanding ointment, and things that you could swear happened yesterday were simultaneously three hundred years ago and never. This is normal. This is how time works now. Friday is both twice a week and not at all. Each Friday lasts six years. Tuesdays are only sometimes. If you pause to look down at your phone in the middle of a routine activity, you will look up and see a barren, unfamiliar landscape and your hands will be covered in cobwebs. You are now three hundred years older than you were and you remember things no one else does and speak in a language that has been all but forgotten. Do not panic. This is quite common.”

The Education of an Idealist: A Memoir by Samantha Power

I admire Samantha Power and wish I could be her. 🙂 Former US UN Ambassador, Pulitzer Prize winner, and social justice warrior representing our country on the world stage, she does what I wish I could do in the broader world. Her frustration and outrage echoes mine, and I didn’t know much about any of the topics she wrote about (global human rights issues and events, her view from inside the Obama administration, and her personal struggles and background). She takes personal moral responsibility for doing her part in a world gone mad. Highly recommend.

“Each member of our delegation had taken personal risks by traveling to Cameroon, Chad, and Nigeria, and had done so out of a conviction that our fates were somehow linked to those of people thousands of miles away. Every day, while nobody was watching, young boys and girls were dying in the countries we visited because of malnutrition, disease, military violence, and terrorism. We visited because we were determined to help in a way that we knew no other country would.”

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How to change the world

Posted on June 26, 2020 by Naomi
Ultimately, work on self is inseparable from work in the world. Each mirrors the other; each is a vehicle for the other. When we change ourselves, our values and actions change as well.
CHARLES EISENSTEIN
Seen on gratefulness.org
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May book report

Posted on June 2, 2020 by Naomi

May accomplishments:

Sweet Girl graduated from elementary school. She had a Zoom promotion ceremony and a car parade with lots of cheer. I made a book for her of memories of her 6 years there with class pictures, special milestones or occasions that I have pictures from, and even letters that I had her teachers write to her each year that she didn’t know about.

We saw some WWII planes fly overhead on VE Day. Mother’s Day was nice. I had a quarantine birthday. I’m putting myself on a diet after many months of a “whatever” attitude.

I’m working on two large art pieces for a friend’s home. One is on it’s fourth attempt. Oh well.

I created some artwork that will be printed on a postcard and included in some care packages for first responders. I have a friend who is the Houston Poet Laureate and she is coordinating this project to collect words and images from others.

And it’s summer all of a sudden. We have been vigilant in isolating ourselves in our home, cleaning the groceries that are delivered, and not allowing anyone inside. We did decide to allow a masked exterminator in a couple weeks ago, and that experience was enough to freak me out and not let anyone else in. That man was way too chatty and stayed too long.

At this point, I’m conflicted. I see pictures on Facebook of people getting together. I am stunned by the crowded protests and I fear for those people’s lives. And we are not risking summer camp or any inside activity. I don’t even answer the door. Is this sustainable though? I am concerned about SG going to middle school in the fall. She very much wants to, so I hope it will be configured in a way that is safe. I looked into homeschooling and I don’t think either one of us would like it.

Our country is vacillating between finding some form of unity and falling apart. It is so sad to watch such pain and hurt. After I put SG to bed at night, I check the numbers of new cases and deaths in Houston, the US, and the world; look at the CNN app top stories; and check Facebook. Some nights this takes me a couple of hours, so it’s no wonder I haven’t read many books this month. (I realize 7 books probably sounds like a lot to many of you!)

I decided to change my links in my book reviews going forward to Bookshop.org. Supporting independent bookstores has always been a passion of mine.

The Book of Delights: Essays by Ross Gay

“The point is that in almost every instance of our lives, our social lives, we are, if we pay attention, in the midst of an almost constant, if subtle, caretaking. Holding open doors. Offering elbows at crosswalks. Letting someone else go first. Helping with the heavy bags. Reaching what’s too high, or what’s been dropped. Pulling someone back to their feet. Stopping at the car wreck, at the struck dog. The alternating merge, also known as the zipper. This caretaking is our default mode and it’s always a lie that convinces us to act or believe otherwise. Always.”

This is collection of short essays written over a year about small joys he encounters. I like that he was actively seeking out and appreciating these moments. A very enjoyable read that changed my perspective of those little moments in our days.

Rules for Visiting: A Novel by Jessica Francis Kane

An introverted campus gardener decides to visit four old friends from different periods of her life in order to see how much they understand her. It’s an almost melancholy tale of being lonely in a digital age.

“Perhaps a best friend is someone who . . . holds the story of your life in mind. Sometimes in music a melodic line is so beautiful the notes feel inevitable; you can anticipate the next note through a long rest. Maybe that is friendship. A best friend holds your story in mind so notes don’t have to be repeated.”

Writers & Lovers: A Novel by Lily King

Thank you to Cynthia Newberry Martin for this suggestion! This is my favorite book from this month.

“I don’t write because I think I have something to say. I write because if I don’t, everything feels even worse.”

Casey is down-on-her luck and working as a waitress while she strives to finish her novel and live a creative life. We observe her loneliness and watch as she meets two very different men. I loved her determination to be true to herself and her struggles to enter the next stage of her life.

“I squat there and think about how you get trained early on as a woman to perceive how others are perceiving you, at the great expense of what you yourself are feeling about them. Sometimes you mix the two up in a terrible tangle that’s hard to unravel.”

An Unorthodox Match: A Novel by Naomi Ragen

After many disastrous relationships, a woman seeks an Orthodox Jewish life in New York. She meets a young widowed scholar who is newly grieving and cluelessly raising 3 children. Suprise ending: it all works out. 😉

“Reunited with Yaakov Lehman’s young children, Leah realized just how much the world she had lived in close to thirty-five years, the world she thought she knew, had been transformed, and she along with it. It did not happen suddenly one morning but was cumulative.”

Themes and Variations: An Essay by David Sedaris

I enjoy Sedaris’ sense of humor very much and delighted in this short essay about his last book tour and how he tries to connect with his audiences. I read a whole book in 20 minutes!

“My worst experience still angers me all these years later. I waited in line, a nervous wreck, and when I got up there, the author was talking to someone, her publicist, maybe. “I don’t know,” she said, sounding bored. “There’s not really much to do in this town. Why don’t you call Jerry and see what he thinks.” My copy of her memoir was reached for, signed with nothing but her name, and then pushed back. She didn’t even look up. In that case, I didn’t leave embarrassed. I left feeling betrayed. What I’d wanted, much more than the book—which I now would rather die than read—was to be seen by this person. If only for a few seconds. I left the store determined that when and if it was ever my turn and I was the author seated at that table, I was going to engage people until they grew old, or at least thirsty. “Well, all right, then,” they’d say, looking past me for the nearest exit, “let me let you go.” I would see them until they wilted. And that’s pretty much how it goes. I generally start the conversation immediately, that way the person wanting a book signed never has to say the things they’ve stood in line agonizing over, and that they will most likely regret later on.”

In Five Years: A Novel by Rebecca Serle

File this one under “read in bed and get pillowcase wet.” We’ve got a type-A lawyer who gets her dream job and is engaged to a man who agrees with her airtight life vision. The only “hyper realism” here is that she dreams one night that it is five years later and she is with a different person living in a different place. Back to her normal life, she begins questioning her relationship and actually meets the person in her dreams. Add in a beautiful friendship with a long-time friend and her cancer diagnosis, some thoughts about choice and destiny, and an acceptance at the end of what is and is not in our control.

“We are like constellations passing each other, seeing each other’s light but in the distance. It feels impossible how much space there can be in this intimacy, how much privacy. And I think that maybe that is what love is. Not the absence of space but the acknowledgment of it, the thing that lives between the parts, the thing that makes it possible not to be one, but to be different, to be two.”

Becoming Eve: My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman by Abby Stein

This book has been recommended to me a few times, so I finally read it and liked it. Abby Stein was born a boy and raised in a Hasidic Jewish community in New York, groomed to become a rabbi and leader of the community. This is the story of her thoughts, education, and faith as she struggles to come to terms with her gender, ultimately leaving the community and breaking ties with her parents to become who she was meant to be.

“Questioning is basic human nature, and for most Jews around the world, it is a strong Jewish value. Not in the Hasidic community. My questions were met with disdain and anger, and shock. Asking these questions was just not done. I didn’t know of any other teenager who questioned the existence of God, the ultimate truth of Judaism as the only true path to God, the fact that we were the chosen people, or even the authority of our late sages. For me, it was necessary. I had no faith in anything I was told; if every authority in my life told me I was a boy, and I knew I was a girl, how could I believe the rest of their claims? If they were wrong about my gender, they could be wrong about God, too.”

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A global awakening?

Posted on May 23, 2020 by Naomi

This morning, when I opened my bedroom door to the hallway, I felt a noticeable wave of warmth, a big temperature difference between the two spaces. We have been trying to figure out our new tech-enabled thermostats, the ones that “learn” your patterns. Why will it not cool the upstairs evenly so that my daughter can get to sleep without continually asking about why it’s so hot in her room? It is registering a temperature and other rooms don’t reflect that.

I don’t know how these mechanical things work, but it brings to mind the fractured nature of suffering in the United States and the world due to the coronavirus.  Some communities are experiencing untold loss, and yet it seems to allow the whole to carry on as usual. If I were to somehow have a severed hand, painful and needing immediate attention, I can’t image the rest of me carrying on with my day like I’ve written off the loss.  I’d think it would disrupt everything, send me to the emergency room in agony, and alter the course of my life.

This Memorial Day weekend, as our losses in this country approach 100,000, why do we not share in the shock and grief that such a staggering number should elicit?

One

hundred

thousand

lives

extinguished.  

Should we not collectively be shocked, outraged, burdened by this loss? Why are some “rooms” feeling it and others are not? Why is it not a “whole house” problem?

I think I got used to seeing the news reports each day of 2,000 more deaths. In that mindset, it would take a much larger number to cause me to register shock.  I think that ability to become conditioned to such horror is unfortunate.  Maybe it’s a coping tactic because I know that I cannot personally allow myself to feel such a catastrophic loss and stay mentally sound.

The human body universally activates it’s immune response to the virus in order to attack it and survive.  I am far from a scientist, but I can’t imagine that it would allow one organ to fail and then carry on protecting the rest.  It’s a closed system.  We must do the same as a nation.

What is happening right now is an unraveling. One state differs from another in temperament, response, and behavior.  One city’s numbers are the inverse of a neighboring town.  One neighborhood is tragically affected while the next refuse to take precautionary measures.  There is a definite sense of cutting oneself off from the whole and letting conditions deteriorate for “other” people.

When one individual or one community experiences an unusual physical event, it makes the news.  A rare condition, a sudden devastation.  It is “novel” and their life story receives our attention.  Why wouldn’t that be magnified untold times right now?

How do we as a society assign a value to a human life? Is one life more valuable than another depending on geography, occupation, or financial status? In Judaism, one human life is equivalent to an entire world and saving one life is the highest of all our commandments.  No person should be able to say that his life is more valuable than his neighbor’s. We must recognize that we cannot fathom what one person’s descendants might accomplish in the future. 

Globally, there are 335,000 deaths from this virus.  If we don’t feel that these losses belong to us, if we don’t allow such a staggering statistic to register in our minds, then we will not appropriately grieve together, heal together, or move forward together. What amount of loss, what number, would bring about a unified response? What kind of spike in cases and deaths would awaken a collective sense of shock and dismay? 

We have always been connected; one body. For better or worse, we are all in this together. As much as my family is isolating in our beautiful home with a full refrigerator, we are simultaneously in an adobe hut in India with unclean water. We are suffering alone in an ICU. We are exhausted in a cemetery burying the dead. We are all hurting, overwhelmed, and scared.

Just as a river flows seamlessly into a larger ocean; just as one body part connects to all the others; just as air molecules (ideally) move freely between spaces, so too will our individual pockets eventually join together.  It is inevitable that we will all experience loss.

The numbers are terrifying, but what is even more concerning is our (at least public) cavalier acceptance of it. “What a shame… I really liked that hand.  It’s going to be much harder to play golf now.”

In order to derive meaning from our collective losses and experiences, we need a way to unitedly acknowledge our losses and share in our uncertainty of the future. Together. It is only in accepting a loss that we can move forward. We need a leader who can compassionately guide us through that process. 

This is not a game or a popularity contest. This is human life. This is us. 

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