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Letter to myself (and to humanity) from my higher self

Posted on March 28, 2020 by Naomi

Dearest girl,

Let’s talk for a minute. You need to chill and I’m here to help you gain some perspective.

You are feeling out-of-sorts. You are feeling flickers of annoyance many times each day because of the imposed togetherness of your situation. You need your space away from others and time to reflect and process your experiences, and you do not have that right now. You feel that the lack of personal time for introspection and study is building up a dam inside of yourself and that the mounting pressure is going to explode someday soon.

Why are you trying to tackle everything all at once? You are planning activities for your daughter like you’re all-of-a-sudden running a summer camp for hundreds. You are making meals and cleaning dishes and countertops seemingly nonstop. You are responding to countless requests for troubleshooting internet passwords and school software issues, locating lost items, and cravings of attention from daughter and even from the cat.

You have been a trooper. Really. I see that you thrive on the fact that all of humanity is in the same boat on this one. The idealist in you loves that every single being, no matter where or what, is facing an invisible enemy in this virus and in the resulting need that we change our behavior. It’s even kind of fun for you as a novelty, a break from usual thinking. You have long wanted global change and you see this as a huge opportunity for positive results. (I also see that the cynic in you thinks humanity will squander this opportunity just as quickly as it was offered.)

All of Facebook content is somehow about this current virus. You smile inside when you see people giving of themselves in a myriad of inspiring ways. You read even more now about the failure of your government and are not surprised at all. A quick check of your phone shows that your email is a listing of virtual events, coping strategies, and offerings related to this too.

Socially, friends are posting about their days, sharing humor, asking questions about school platforms, pointing out the shocking ineptitude of our leaders. You know what? You don’t have to be annoyed by this. You can decide not to look at it. They are doing this to cope. They need to virtually reach out and find connection. You may feel it as too much intrusion. They see it as not enough togetherness.

I know it’s very hard for you to accept the new reality. Being together 24/7 with your family has been a challenge to your patience. If you’re being honest with yourself, there are even moments when you’re doubting that you can power through for an indefinite period of time.

Everyone is wondering what life will be like once this is over, if this is ever completely over. Will things go back to how they were? What will the world feel like after we have all experienced such a cathartic change?

It’s ironic isn’t it that while other people are having trouble with the isolation and restrictions of this situation, you are craving alone time? You need time without Anderson Cooper in your living room, gorgeous and brilliant as he is, telling you about the economy, medical shortages, timelines, unequal healthcare access, and deaths. Please remember that it is a journalist’s job to describe what is happening. Do not fault them.

You are yearning to talk about something else. I know that if you were to have time to yourself right now, you would dive so deeply into writing or art or home projects that you’d be happy to stay isolated for years. And so I really am regretful that you cannot have this time for that purpose.

I recognize how difficult this is for you and I know you need time to focus on yourself. I have to let you know, gently of course, that you are not going to be getting that any time soon. It is going to be ok though. You are going to be ok.

What can you do to make the best of this? What lessons might you learn here? What strengths do you have within you that you can pull from right now?

We’ll get back to those questions.

First, I want you to know that it is completely ok to be worried, annoyed, scared, irritable, and to feel the countless other emotions that come up. Whatever your heart and mind are telling you, it is normal and it is ok. As a global family, we have never been in this situation before. As Naomi, you also have not experienced anything like this before. It is ok to feel all the feels.

You’ve lost so much. Security. Control. Certainty. Plans.

It’s normal to feel sadness and grief at such massive losses. Your daughter will not be returning to her school to complete fifth grade and will not have that right of passage of “graduating” elementary school. She may not get to go to summer camp. Your extroverted husband will not be able to enjoy socializing with coworkers and friends on business trips. You will not be able to focus on your classes or hobbies with both of these people literally in your space.

It’s a sadness that may not go away for awhile. As human beings realize that our lives are far more fragile than we otherwise thought, we are all grieving. Every hour, more precious lives are extinguished. Our systems are breaking. We are seeing scarcity of vital resources and a lack of leadership.

How can you turn this around away from yourself?

This is not about you. You can try to think about this as a parent and make your daughter’s memories of this event positive and special. You can remember that there is a huge amount of suffering that this virus is causing to many people (though please don’t focus on this because it will completely overwhelm you). You can also notice that every hour, another example of selflessness and global unity shines forth.

You, Naomi, will have time again for your books, your writing, your art, your classes. You may not have this time with your daughter back though. She is right at the threshold of adolescence. Things are going to change… your relationship with her may change. She may not even want to follow you around 24/7, if you can believe that.

If you can keep this in mind, I think you will easily let go of your annoyance and embrace your given closeness. Maybe this could even be a buffer that’s been given to you to positively alter any future mother/daughter conflicts.

She needs exactly you right now and what you can give to her. For her, you are certainty. You are ideas. You are possibility. You are her normal. Make those cookies together. Play that annoying game once again. Keep smiling, listening, and giving of yourself.

You have a new normal these days. However, you are her constant and this need not change. You do not need to have limitless patience or be more than who you humanly are… just try to see this time as a divine gift. Choose to take advantage of it rather than reject it or resent it.

So, those questions. How can you make the best of this? What lessons might you learn here? What strengths do you have within you that you can pull from right now?

You’ve been given quite the challenge. For humanity, it’s an opportunity to allow our broken openness to change us and change long-held patterns. That said, YOU do not need to think about that. You have never been the problem and you will always be willing to help with positive change. Instead, let’s think about you personally.

How can you make the best of this? Place your focus higher.

For example, rather than think of the dusty floors as one more thing you’ve got to do, realize that your beautiful home is the setting of what is playing out. You want it to be clean because you get to spend all your time here. Deal with the dust at the same time as you appreciate your setting.

Another example: rather than be annoyed that you have less time to participate in your online discussions, learning, and classes, realize that you are now using your time for something more important. Be content with just a little bit of your usual content: you may not be able to keep up with all of your podcasts or your classes, and that’s ok. When you are interrupted, let your first thought be, “this precious girl needs me and she will always remember that I am here for her.” Remember that your higher self is always watching you too and wanting to see generosity, not impatience.

Keep things manageable. You do not need to attend every virtual concert, play, or national park tour just because it’s offered! There’s no need to add to your to-do list just because something is available. Take off anything from your list that entails extra effort that you are not excited about because you are already doing more than you normally do. What if you limited yourself to 3 main tasks each day? You could let go of continually thinking you should be doing more.

What lessons might you learn here? Can you practice patience in your usual mussar way? Take a page in your notebook and make an accounting of how many times you actively choose patience over a negative reaction. See if you can keep improving each day. Each week, choose another focus: mindfulness, generosity, compassion, enthusiasm, gratitude, humility, curiosity, joy. There are enough middot to get you through this segment of time and you can always repeat.

Use the practice of mussar and be curious about what you can be learning about yourself in every moment. The goal is to be always climbing the ladder of growth with wholeness and holiness in mind.

This is a great chance for you to learn how to speak up and say exactly what you need. You can tell your husband and daughter if you need a few minutes alone. They want to help you! If you do not verbalize your needs, there is little chance they will read your mind.

It’s important to remember the reason that you are isolated inside your home. There is no dangerous storm coming, nor is there physical danger. You are preserving human life. You are staying healthy and not adding to the mounting health crisis. You are actively helping, which is a great thing.

Also remember that you get to decide your response in any situation. You can let it happen to you or you can be in charge of your actions and beliefs.

What strengths do you have within you that you can pull from right now?

Empathy to recognize how hard this is for others. Compassion for yourself and for others. Intelligence to know that this too shall pass. Patience to swallow your annoyance and take care of someone else.

Remember that you are not in crisis. Everyone you know is healthy right now. You have more than everything you need. Another strength is that you are abundantly blessed.

Naomi, look into your bright future with hope and with the knowledge that this situation does not have to be seen as a loss. You are gaining wisdom and memories and experience in every moment. It’s all in how you look at it.

With endless love and understanding,

Me. Well, you.

Posted in Home, Motherhood, Mussar, Self-compassion, Soulful Home prompts, Spirituality | Tagged attitude, Mussar, patience | 2 Comments

The lesson is global and personal

Posted on March 20, 2020 by Naomi

Times sure have changed, eh? If a psychic had predicted the future and described the way our lives would be rearranged so suddenly, I never would have believed them.

I saw an article headline on Facebook about how being at home all the time is an introvert’s dream. Um, no. Being able to recharge away from people would be living the dream. I did let myself imagine just for a minute how enjoyable it would be if I could spend hours and hours and hours immersing myself in my books and art and online classes, but then I stopped torturing myself. It is what it is.

I started this self-quarantine last week when Sweet Girl got strep throat. Even more needy when she’s sick than on normal days, she and I were together for 72 hours non-stop. I am thankful that she’s on the mend, but for me, I have felt like I’m being crowded. I am accustomed to alone/quiet time so I am really trying to enforce a new routine where I have some solitude, but it’s very difficult for my daughter to get used to. Still, a week in, we have all realized how much more pleasant our days are when mommy has alone time to recharge.

Is there a lesson here???

So. I’ve been searching for the lessons in our current situation. Interestingly, at the very beginning of this past Shabbat’s Torah portion, Ki Tisa, we read about the commandment to “wash hands and feet with water and not die,” a timely reminder to wash our hands!

The parsha starts with a description of how to take a census of the people (also timely). Everyone is to give a half-shekel by proxy “so that there will not be a plague among them when counting them.” In this way, substituting coins for people, we can avoid a pandemic. I have also heard that it was done that way so as not to ignore the individuality of each person, just counting each one after another. Rather, each person is unique unto themselves and there is no one like them.

Is it a coincidence that we read this parsha a week ago? How about today’s page of Talmud in Daf Yomi that discusses pure and impure ritual water? You really have to wonder! Maybe I’m looking through a particular coronavirus lens, but it is still strikingly relevant.

The current virus does not differentiate between us… No nationality, gender, or social status is immune. (There’s a big lesson for humanity here as well.) A plague is a manifestation of people not being differentiated as individuals. The Torah tells us that to avoid this, we must recognize the value and worth of each individual. In the parsha, if one person were not counted, that would have been a little less money with which to buy the sacrifices needed for the Tabernacle.

When we recognize that each person is his own unique world, we act in a way opposite of how a virus does, which blindly attacks any human and every human. In the parsha, we see that we shouldn’t treat the people as all the same. To avoid the plague, we treat each person as something of tremendous and unique value and we recognize that each individual is needed to foster our relationship that we have with God. Every human who is alive today was created because he/she is needed. And yet look what can happen when we don’t recognize the value of each individual. We even say that “to save a life is to save the world.” That’s why I haven’t left my house.

It’s troubling to me to look at the numbers and statistics of who has contracted this virus, who has recovered, who has been and has not yet been tested. When we look at the big picture like that and try to see some kind of a spreading trend, we are not viewing each fellow human as someone of tremendous individual value. We are separating ourselves to preserve life, of course, but let’s not separate ourselves from understanding what it may be like to be in China or in Italy on lockdown, or to be someone in a hospital bed with difficulty breathing, cut off from the people around them.

The point is not to rid oneself of struggle, but to accept it as a condition of being human.
Rebbe Nachman of Bratzlav

A dose of humility

The world has changed in gigantic ways by the tiniest little virus, a virus that is invisible to our eyes. We humans have been handed a dose of humility in this. The entire world has been altered… we humans are so fragile that the tiniest of microbes can upend our world.

A common Jewish teaching is that for every physical aspect of our world there is a spiritual component that is unseen. We believe there is an entire other world that matters much more than this one and that we can’t see.

Let us not get too prideful in our scientific or technological abilities that we think we are in charge here. There are always things that we cannot see but that may matter more than what we can visualize.

The lesson is personal

One of my teachers recently mentioned that we must find the lesson in the current situation that is unique to us. What is it that I am meant to learn from this? Well, I’m not entirely sure about that yet, but I think it has something to do with appreciating the many gifts that I have. It might have a hand in finding a new way to balance both “me time” and togetherness with my family.

What are you learning?

Posted in Mussar, Spirituality, Yirah-some | Tagged humility, individual, Torah | Leave a comment

I’m sitting in my new art room!

Posted on March 10, 2020 by Naomi

I think I could sit here for hours. There is so much to see on the walls! Every photo or notecard or travel momento has a story. It means a great deal that it is all together again, in one room, ready for me to reconnect with it all.

Just as before, one of the last rooms to be unpacked is my art space. I have been avoiding it for some reason, coming in every so often to put a few things on a shelf but not spending much focused attention on it. Maybe I thought it might disappear again? One of the biggest disruptions that the flood caused me is the loss of my own space for creating. I had several projects going, an easel installed on my wall, and I spent a lot of time in there. Then it was gone.

So it is a huge deal to have another art space! I have just finished pinning art and cards and notes on bulletin boards, hanging up all my own artwork so I can see it always, placing my pens and stencils and paints in reach. I’m sharing photos because it may never look this orderly again!

I am rich with supplies: lustrous colored paints, blank canvases, brushes, inks, foils, and baskets of papers. Even if I never made another thing, I would be happy to be in this room just looking at it all.

I am on a precipice. It could be as wide or as narrow as I let it. I have so many ideas and yet don’t know where to begin. I want to create Jewish art. I want to play with bright colors in new abstract ways. I want to make large pieces and yet I love sitting with tiny detail too. I want to put a few of my small boards in my Etsy shop. Why am I overthinking this???

Posted in Behind the Art, Creativity, Home | 2 Comments

LOVEly books

Posted on March 2, 2020 by Naomi

I like to consider February to be the month of love. It’s Sweet Girl’s favorite holiday and she likes to draw hearts all over the place. This year, I was in Israel for Love Day, so we opened our cards over Facetime, which was still special.

I’m currently reading 8 books, which is a little much, I know, but I’m interested in them all! I also have a stack of TBR books that is a bit intimidating. I’m also taking a class about a Hebrew Mussar text and I found 2 other commentaries on it on my shelves, so I’m reading all 3 together. You would think I have a lot of reading time… I fall asleep soon after getting into bed at night, so I haven’t been very successful and reading much lately. I also planned to read on the flight to/from Israel, but mostly I slept.

I found this on Goodreads… you can see how many books you read (that you told them about, at least). According to this blog, I read 66 books last year. Interestingly, I was looking through some of my monthly book reviews here and there are some books I don’t even remember reading. Oy.

Rabbi Israel Salanter and the Mussar Movement: Seeking the Torah of Truth by Immanuel Etkes

Quite the scholarly biography of the founder of Immanuel Etkes traces Salanter’s groundbreaking methods in using ethics and psychology to round the Mussar movement. I read it because it was one of the suggested reads before going to Israel.

Etkes spends time on Salanter’s predecessors, places the Mussar movement within its historic and cultural context, describing other movements of the time and economic pressures on Jews in Russia.

City of Girls: A Novel by Elizabeth Gilbert

You take a run-down off off-Broadway theater, a young girl who has no real life plan, and a few other quirky characters and you have City of Girls, a fun coming-of-age story in 1940s New York. This is kind of a bizarre but profound story that I’m happy I didn’t miss.

“People will tell you not to waste your youth having too much fun, but they’re wrong. Youth is an irreplaceable treasure, and the only respectable thing to do with irreplaceable treasure is to waste it.”

Changing the World from the Inside Out: A Jewish Approach to Personal and Social Change by David Jaffe

I know Rabbi David through The Mussar Institute and also from his work with “The Inside Out Wisdom and Action Project.” This book is about how change requires self-awareness, caring, determination, and long-term commitment. His personal anecdotes helped me recognize myself in his stories of burnout, misplaced ambition, and countering discouragement in order to align behavior and values and create real change. Find out more about his work here.

“The paradox is that everything is really one big unity, but existence, at its core, necessitates separation and otherness. We can get confused by this otherness and forget how all creation and particularly all human beings are connected to the ultimate source of all value. To live fully means to engage this paradox and be, at once, completely oneself—unique and distinct—and at the same time cognizant that separation is only an illusion and we are all really connected. While otherness is essential for anything to exist, it is the root of suffering, oppression, and cruelty. Recognizing and acting on an awareness of the hidden unity and value of all creation, while respecting the need for difference, is key to building a more just and peaceful world.”

The Library Book by Susean Orlean

“It wasn’t that time stopped in the library. It was as if it were captured here, collected here, and in all libraries — and not only my time, my life, but all human time as well. In the library, time is dammed up — not just stopped but saved. The library is a gathering pool of narratives and of the people who come to find them. It is where we can glimpse immortality; in the library, we can live forever.”

Primarily, this is a book about the fire that took place in the Los Angeles Central Library in 1986. It is so much more than that though! It’s about the role libraries play in our civilization, the various jobs of the professionals who work in libraries (especially interesting to me – I never would have imagined all that goes into running such an institution), and how that community pulled together to rebuild. The book and writing is so compelling that it reads like fiction.

“A library is a good place to soften solitude; a place where you feel part of a conversation that has gone on for hundreds and hundreds of years even when you’re all alone. The library is a whispering post. You don’t need to take a book off a shelf to know there is a voice inside that is waiting to speak to you, and behind that was someone who truly believed that if he or she spoke, someone would listen. It was that affirmation that always amazed me. Even the oddest, most particular book was written with that kind of crazy courage — the writer’s belief that someone would find his or her book important to read. I was struck by how precious and foolish and brave that belief is, and how necessary, and how full of hope it is to collect these books and manuscripts and preserve them. It declares that all these stories matter, and so does every effort to create something that connects us to one another, and to our past and to what is still to come.”

Wonder and Auggie and Me: Three Wonder Stories by R.J. Palacio

I think there should be a rule that everyone in the world should get a standing ovation at least once in their lives.

You’re probably asking how I’ve not read Wonder yet. First of all, my sister told me I would bawl my eyes out (and who wants that?) and also SG flat-out refused. I ended up doing the 2-page test with her where I read 2 pages and if she still doesn’t like it, we put the book down. This time though, I didn’t even tell her what we were reading. Moms have to be sneaky like that with things other than eating your veggies. 🙂

I’d guess most people have not read Auggie and Me though, and that is a shame because the part about Julian is hugely cathartic and amazing. Highly recommend. (No, I have not seen the movie.)

In Search of the Holy Life: Rediscovering the Kabbalistic Roots of Mussar by Ira Stone and Beulah Trey

“Kabbalah served and can serve as the metaphorical framework to describe this universe, while Mussar provides the method for repair.” I read this while in Israel out of curiosity. It goes through several traits like Forgiveness, Curiosity, Equanimity from both a Mussar and Kabbalistic lens.

Posted in Books - Monthly Reports | Tagged David Jaffe, elizabeth gilbert, Ira Stone, libraries, Mussar, Rabbi Israel Salanter, Susan Orlean | Leave a comment

Introducing a new series

Posted on February 28, 2020 by Naomi

I have been practicing Mussar (Jewish ethics or character development, cultivating an inner awareness or perspective for the purpose of gradual behavioral self-improvement) for a number of years now and I have yet to find a definition of Yirah that I think fully represents this Hebrew word or concept. The closest I have come to this concept (which really can’t be captured by words) is “awe, sacredness, wonder of G-d and G-d’s creations, and how we can act in G-d-like ways.”

Rabbi Elya Lopian defined Mussar as “making the heart understand what the mind knows.” Mussar is a set of tools to make physical the high ideals we intellectually know but may not actually live by – by taking small steps toward incorporating them into our daily life. It’s a process of waking up to our own personal spiritual curriculum. Maybe you need to work on patience, or compassion, or generosity. Each of these traits has practices we can undertake to slowly improve. We watch our progress and notice stumbling blocks or gradual improvement. Often this is done in a small group in order to share soul stories and provide support and discussion. This is how we grow toward our personal potential as human beings.

What is Yirah? It is the closest we can come to conceptualizing the divine wonder of our human experience, our purpose in life, and what the Divine is. It is an emotional and spiritual sense that “lifts the veil” in a way so that you know that what we see on our mundane, earthly plane is just the beginning of something much richer, much more complete, and much more holy than we can know.

It is reverence, like the wonder felt standing amongst 800-year-old redwood trees.

It is awe, like standing amidst the flutter and swirl of thousands of monarch butterflies migrating north.

It is amazement, like holding a newborn baby that has developed in the womb miraculously with everything it will need to function in life, without us having to do a thing.

It is vulnerability, like viewing an eclipse or a meteor streaking across the night sky and realizing how very small one person is in such a universe.

And yet…

Yirah doesn’t have to be experienced in these grand moments. It’s really about cultivating our own sense of open-eyed amazement at anything and everything. It’s experiencing each veined leaf of a tree or each eyelash on a child’s face as if you’ve never seen it before. It’s watching the clouds move with the wind or experiencing the wondrous movement of your body as you walk. It can be found anywhere if we slow down and cultivate our awareness of it.

This series is meant to explore moments of Yirah in my own life and to give you the opportunity to ponder how you look at your own life. I have just returned from a trip to Israel, where I experienced many of those moments. I’m excited to share them with you.

Posted in Mussar, Yirah-some | Tagged awe, reverence | Leave a comment

January books and bookish things

Posted on February 3, 2020 by Naomi

I have certainly enjoyed reading other people’s posts about what they have been reading and I have also been listening to the “What Should I Read Next?” podcast by Anne Bogel. She talks to her visitors about their favorite books and then recommends others she thinks they’d like. I almost always end up writing at least one title down! Browsing Anne’s bookclub, I noticed they were reading The Stationary Shop and so I read that one and then listened to her talk to the author. The Ten Thousand Doors of January I never would have found on my own, but that is their February read. Reviews below!

First I have to share with you this awesome video by Max Joseph about how to read more. It includes visits to many of the world’s best and most beautiful bookstores. Summarizing his quest, he says,

“These bookstores are like temples. Some of them have even been churches. A place to get in touch with your higher self and nourish your soul. There’s something about being in a bookstore that makes you feel infinite, like you can touch the magic.”

Plus now I want to put books on the ceiling too. 🙂

I had a great time arranging my office bookshelves, grouping by subjects and by favorites. I also splurged and got some actual (non-Kindle) books over the holidays that I’m excited about.

Did you know that a Librocubicularist is someone who reads in bed? That’s my favorite time of day – putting on pjs and forgetting everything except my book and then falling asleep!

Lady Clementine: A Novel by Marie Benedict

“All the strain and struggle that have comprised my life—my lonely and strange childhood, the wild swings of my unusual marriage, my struggle with motherhood, my compunction to constantly prove myself worthy, the tumult of two wars, even my pervasive sense of otherness—seem to fall away. In the vacuum of calm, I see with unexpected clarity that, without my unique hardships and failings, particularly with my children, I could not have become the Clementine who forged this path through politics and history, and without me, my husband could not have become the Winston who helped deliver peace to this broken world.“

Marie Benedict has a new novel out today? Buy it and read it immediately! In this novel, Benedict selects yet another woman who was overlooked by history books. I enjoyed learning more about her. Winston Churchill’s wife, Clementine (rhymes with Josephine), served much more than the usual role of a political spouse of that time and made some world-changing contributions. She was an equal to Churchill in all ways. She took an integral role in her husband’s speeches, decisions, and tasks. She fought for women’s right to vote and improvements to war-time conditions in the hospitals, bomb shelters, etc, and helped position her country in favorable eyes of other world leaders.

“He had finally uttered the words I’d been longing to hear. I examined this man, over a decade my senior and an important, if controversial, member of Parliament, and saw the sensitive person who lay beneath the blunderbuss of his exterior, one who understood and shared my sense of being different. In that moment, I knew with utter certainty that I could make a life with him. It would not be an easy life—no, it would be one of striving and ambition—but it could be an important and purposeful one.”

Lovely War by Julie Berry

This love story is told by goddess Aphrodite, defending her actions in two relationships during WWI to her fellow gods. I cried many times while reading this book, it was just so touching. I also learned a great deal about how African American soldiers were treated in this war and afterward. This is a love story, a war story, a history lesson, and a reminder to hold on to hope in dark times.

“Let them start their dreadful wars, let destruction rain down, and let plague sweep through, but I will still be here, doing my work, holding humankind together with love like this.”

The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson

Amazing book! Reads like a fun chemistry textbook. I had to make myself stop sharing facts and stories with my family, but I found it all so fascinating. If you’re also amazed at how many remarkable things our bodies do every minute, read this book. Bryson is humorous and writes so compellingly that I couldn’t wait to read about what bacteria has been found or scientific discovery happens next!

Twenty-one Truths About Love: A Novel by Matthew Dicks

An entire novel in lists? It sounds better than it really is. I’m not sure about his guy… he starts out lost and I have to say, I’m not convinced he’s exactly figured everything out at the end of the book. His wife is pregnant, he’s rapidly (and secretly) spending their savings just to stay afloat because he quit his teaching position and opened a bookstore, and he thinks all the time about his own inadequacies. I got through it but didn’t love it.

“Additions to Dan’s Laws of the Universe:

Wanting to be a better human being and finding a way to become a better human being are two very different things.
“Acknowledging the problem is the first step in solving it” is only spoken by people who have actually solved their problems. I bet that plenty of people acknowledge their problem, never solve it, and therefore never say that
A person is more than a person. A person is the promise of everything that person can be.
A man who doesn’t believe in God prays in desperate times in the same way a drowning man attempts to draw breath while underwater.
Sometimes all you have left is the impossible.
The person who has nothing in life except the desire to be the boss is the last person who should be the boss.”

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow

“Doors, he told her, are change, and change is a dangerous necessity. Doors are revolutions and upheavals, uncertainties and mysteries, axis points around which entire worlds can be turned. They are the beginnings and endings of every true story, the passages between that lead to adventures and madness and—here he smiled—even love. Without doors the worlds would grow stagnant, calcified, storyless.”

Fantasy? Magic? Doors as portals to other realms does sound odd, but the story unfolds in such a believable and real world that it works. The power of love throughout the book makes it. I like that the emphasis on the importance of words and stories too. Very well-written.

The Stationary Shop: A Novel by Marjan Kamali

This love story begins in pre-revolutionary Iran in the 1950s and carries us into present time. I thought it was easy to get swept into the story right away, though I the he-said/she-said went on for far too long. This novel could have ended about halfway through, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to stay up half the night with the main characters, tears falling into my pillow. 🙂

“Roya wanted wholeness, she wanted warmth, she wanted escape and comfort. The Stationery Shop and its books gave her that. Then Bahman filled it with his presence. But if she had to determine a day when she actually fell in love beyond repair, it was the seventh Tuesday. That day signaled winter’s end. It was the kind of day when the chill and frost and dispirit of the season gave way to the promise of blooms and greenery and new beginnings. It was a day ready to rupture.”

“‘Roya.’ When he said her name, it did not matter: the decades, the children, the cancer, the betrayal, the loss, the coup, the rewritten history. He said her name the same way he had always said her name. They were Bahman and Roya again, the couple dancing, talking breathlessly as they leaned against the books in the shop. She held on to the seat of the plastic chair. It was not an option to fall.”

The Only Street in Paris: Life on the Rue des Martyrs by Elaine Sciolino

“The Rue des Martyrs became an addiction. I got hooked on its spirit: the rhythm, the collective pleasures, the bonding with merchants, the way I felt when I walked up and down it. I became like Louis-Sébastien Mercier, the eighteenth-century writer and first street reporter of Paris. He wandered on foot, recording the everyday habits and customs of people of all classes and professions: prostitutes and policemen, servants and street vendors, criminals and priests. And artists, beggars, philosophers, greengrocers, and washerwomen. Mercier was driven by curiosity, not destination.”

That pretty much describes Sciolino too. She collects old postcards and gets absorbed into everyone’s story. She tells of artists and poets who lived on this long street; she takes friends to secondhand shops and learns their stories too. She describes the history of all the booksellers on the street; she grew attached to the decaying church that sits at the bottom of it; and she interacts with shopkeepers, friends, and other storytellers making their way on this “only street in Paris.” Very charming book.

Where the Forest Meets the Stars: A Novel by Glendy Vanderah

This is a different kind of story but oh so compelling. It tells of three main characters who are on vastly different paths who come together in a heartwarming way. A barefoot young girl appears out of nowhere outside the cabin where a scientist is doing research and says she is from another planet. A seemingly magical child who ultimately transforms the others’ lives in the best way. Unique and captivating… I read this in 2 days, it was so good!

Upstate by James Wood

A friend suggested this one for it’s lyrical writing. A man reflects about his life, marriages, and two daughters. He and his daughter Helen travel from the UK to New York to visit his other daughter Vanessa, who is depressed. This is a novel full of the characters’ thoughts about family, regret, and each other. Actually, not much actually happens plot-wise in the book, which I found frustrating, but it did lead me to ask myself why some people find it so hard to be happy. Each of these family members lives and thinks so differently! I have to admit that I skimmed the latter half of the book because I couldn’t get invested in their story.