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New house update #10: general update

Posted on January 28, 2019 by Naomi

You haven’t missed a post, I promise. The new house is pretty much the same as it was in November and December.

I have been busy making corrections to the electric. This stage has been taking a couple of months by now. At least, it seems we’ve been working on plumbing, HVAC, and electric for a very long time.

First, the electrician went in and installed boxes and indicated where fixtures and wire will go. The project manager knew I had multiple requests and changes, but still thought this was the best way to begin. Then, I spent hours walking the house with them to tell them what would need to come out, be moved, or be added. I’ve bought fixtures for places they had pot cans installed. I have pendants where they put fans. They put outlets high in the wall for cabinets and shelves that don’t exist. I guess that’s the benefit of not having walls yet. Still, seemed like a giant waste of time to me.

When I pointed out that I don’t want long plates with 4 different switches on them, the electrician told me that was a whole different beast. In order to have one plate with multiple buttons, we needed to bring in a home automation company.

So we met with them in their office and again on site, went through lots of options, agreed on a package and pricing, and they were finally able to begin their installation. We are going to have a closet that will house the server and equipment that will automate some of the lights, TVs, door locks, and speakers. They also are pre-wiring for low-voltage.

Once all this took place and the New Year had passed, the electrician was able to come back to correct the things I wanted changed. We approved a change order to add more exterior lighting and I chose the type of switches and plates I want. We are nearing the completion of this process now.

* * * * * *

We’re almost ready for the pre-cover walk before getting insulation and drywall, but we have another delay.

“Delay” is just as bad a word to me as “custom” these days!

We are connecting the house to the garage on the first level. The framer came out last week to begin that work and quickly realized that the drawings from the architect and structural engineer were not correct. It may have to do with us moving the house forward before we broke ground, but the measurements are not correct so they could not proceed.

The delay comes in because we have to install wiring there and into the adjoining areas and have it inspected before we can close up the walls. So the electric in the house might be done but we cannot do anything else until the connection is built. And we can’t build the connection until we get the correct plans back from the engineer.

So we wait. Again.

It’s frustrating to have days pass with nothing happening at the house! It seems that our June move in is definitely off. Now we’re hoping for a smooth transition from our rental house to the new house. The owner of our rental is expected to move back in sometime in August. I sure hope we aren’t still here. We don’t talk much about timeline with the builder these days, knowing that they are doing all they can, calling the engineer every day.

In the meantime, SG and I have been plugging away at purging our rental house of things we just do not need. She’s done a great job going through paperwork, books, toys, and games.

* * * * * *

Here is a recap of what we’ve been up to:

Friday, 12/14: HVAC is complete.

Monday, 12/17: Meeting with framer to go over all frame punch items in house and ordering material for framers to start with additions and revisions.

Tuesday, 12/18: Electrical drawings are being updated with low voltage plans. Framing continues through Thursday. Top out pipes have been delivered; tub and valves are on site.

Back porch pot cans and fans

SG’s new closet

Wednesday, 12/19: Plumbers are working today. Home automation company is on site starting low voltage rough in today.

Thursday, 1/3: Meeting to go over locations for valves in showers and found some minor corrections. Plumbers will be out on Friday. Roof penetrations have been called in.

Tuesday, 1/8: Plumbing top out passed inspection this morning- tubs and shower pans. Electrical rough to start tomorrow. Completed HVAC roof – exhaust fan wiring. Getting with electrician and HVAC to get start up on garage apartment now that larger meter has been installed.

Friday, 1/11: Home automation started their electrical rough today and will continue next week.

Monday, 1/14: Electricians continue rough today. Plumbers on site.

Powder room plumbing and reinforcement for floating vanity

Wednesday, 1/16: Fireplace installed today. Master bath floor tile also received and secured inside house. Following up with The Shade Shop for dimensions for the shade pockets.

Thursday, 1/17: Discussed niche locations and dimensions, shower valve locations, and adding storage below stairs. Breezeway work starting on Tuesday.

SG’s bath area

Art room and closet will have ample storage niches

We added a little wall niche for my daughter’s loft bed so she can keep a book, her glasses, and an alarm clock right next to her. She also has a little reading light up there.

1/18: Plumbers to complete top out by Tuesday of next week and inspecting Wednesday. Electrical additions to be worked on Wednesday of next week. Scheduling polysteel for Friday of next week.

Tuesday: 1/22: Plumbers to install valves this week. Framers coming on Thursday to start framing additions inside of the house. Apex concrete to start tomorrow the connection from new house to existing garage.

Thursday, 1/24: Home automation completing rough. Electricians will be coming by on Monday after our meeting on Friday to make more corrections. Getting price on removal of trees at front yard. Structural revisions for house connection to garage have been sent back to structural engineer for better details. Electricians low voltage and HVAC technicians need to have wires running from the existing house to the garage where the service panel is located.

Posted in Home | Tagged construction, HVAC | 2 Comments

Seasons readings! December books/update

Posted on January 8, 2019 by Naomi

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is Dec-books.jpg

Hello and Happy New Year, friends!

We’ve had a couple of birthdays, traveled to New York City, finished the first half of the school year, and survived Winter Break. I am more than delighted that we’re back to our structure and routine again.

I’ve been trying to work with WordPress’s new platform and having some trouble… but hopefully this will look right on your screens. Thanks for reading.

Am I There Yet? The Loop-de-Loop, Zigzagging Journey to Adulthood by Mari Andrew

SUCH a sweet and refreshing look at growing into adulthood. This seems like the kind of book you might buy as a gift for someone graduating college and then, just before you wrap it, open it and glance through it. You’d get so immersed in Mari’s stories and illustrations that you would simply have to read the entire thing.

This was the first time it occurred to me that I was not immortal, and the first time I realize just how much I enjoyed living. Not because of triumphs and trophies, but because of things like pressing elevator buttons, wearing a sweatshirt and making pancakes on Christmas morning, finding a seat on a crowded subway, reading on trains, whispering when there was no need to, and watching a cat clean his ears with his paw.

In a section toward the end of the book called “Show Up,” Mari writes:

“Show up for friends. Show up for yourself… Show up with stories to tell. Your whole life prepares you for the big moments, so go in confidently knowing you have years of experience to your name. This goes for interviews, dates, or any important conversations. It’s ultimately about whether they’re a fit for you than you a fit for them, so be funny and self-assured and wear hot pink if you feel like it. Don’t hide the fact that your favorite sport is bocce ball and you’re currently binge-watching Golden Girls.”

One of the many spot-on illustrations in the book

And in another part where she describes feeling distant from where she’d like to be, she writes:

“It occurred to me that I could build a bridge to that reality. I could actually make myself into a person who plays guitar on a warm evening in a park… I decided I wanted to be a person who painted with watercolors for fun because it seemed like a really soothing activity, so I decided to make one illustration a day and color it in with a cheap paint set… I made myself an artist simply by making art.

“The great gift of heartbreak, rejection, loss – of any challenge – is that it’s the impetus to stop hoping you’ll be happy someday and start making yourself happy now. Making yourself into an adult is this ongoing process of transforming your life experience into the person you’ve chosen to be.”

Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig

Depression is one of the deadliest diseases on the planet with suicide accounting for over one in a hundred fatalities. “It kills more people than most other forms of violence—warfare, terrorism, domestic abuse, assault, gun crime—put together.”

Writing about the combination of anxiety and depression, Haig captures what it is about depression that makes it so hard for other people to understand.

“You are on guard to the point of collapse every single moment, while desperately trying to keep afloat, to breathe the air that the people on the bank all around you are breathing as easily as anything. You don’t have a second. You don’t have a single waking second outside of the fear. That is not an exaggeration. You crave a moment, a single second of not being terrified, but the moment never comes. The illness that you have isn’t the illness of a single body part, something you can think outside of. If you have a bad back you can say “my back is killing me,” and there will be a kind of separation between the pain and the self. The pain is something other. It attacks and annoys and even eats away at the self but it is still not the self. But with depression and anxiety the pain isn’t something you think about because it is thought. You are not your back but you are your thoughts. If your back hurts it might hurt more by sitting down. If your mind hurts it hurts by thinking. And you feel there is no real, easy equivalent of standing back up. Though often this feeling itself is a lie.”

Thirteen Ways of Looking: A Novella and Three Stories by Colum McCann

The writing in this collection could stop a train. It’s stunning, words juxtaposed with others you would never expect to describe aging, parenthood, marriage, and perspective. Each chapter in the title story opens with part of a Wallace Stevens poem and leads into a stream-of-consciousness reflection on a piece of his life. Highly recommend.

And how is it that the deep past is littered with the characters, while the present is so housebroken and flat? Wasn’t it Faulkner who said that the past is not dead, it’s not even past? Funny thing, the present tense. Technically it cannot exist at all. Once we’re aware of it, it’s gone, no longer present. We dwell, then, in the constant past, even when we’re dreaming of the future.

A probe of pain. Like fatherhood. Trying to ease those little aches that spring up each and every day. The promise of consolation outlasting the punishment of living.

Tamed and Untamed: Close Encounters of the Animal Kind by Sy Montgomery and Elizabeth Marshall Thomas

Our species is just one among 8.7 million others. How many of these can we name? How many do we know or understand?

Did you know that rats love to snuggle or that they laugh when happy? This is a collection of Boston Globe columns written by best friends and animal writers, Sy Montgomery and Elizabeth Marshall Thomas. They explore the minds, lives, and mysteries of animals as diverse as snails, house cats, hawks, sharks, dogs, lions, and even octopuses.

After knowing our fellow animals for 200,000 years, we humans lost touch with them. This collection of essays is a great way to learn more about a few of them.

Becoming by Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama has written a memoir that is thoroughly enjoyable. She speaks for so many of us when she writes, “So many of us go through life with our stories hidden, feeling ashamed or afraid when our whole truth doesn’t live up to some established ideal. We grow up with messages that tell us that there’s only one way to be American – that if our skin is dark or our hops are wide, if we don’t experience love in a particular way, if we speak another language or come from another country, then we don’t belong. That is, until someone dares to start telling that story differently.”

She describes perfectly the feeling of “not-enoughness” she had when her high school guidance counselor tried to dissuade her from applying to Princeton, saying “I’m not sure that you’re Princeton material” with such judgement that it only fueled Michelle to prove her wrong.

“‘On this day,’ he said, ‘we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.’ I saw that truth mirrored again and again in the faces of the people who stood shivering in the cold to witness it. There were people in every direction, as far back as I could see. They filled every inch of the National Mall and the parade route. I felt as if our family were almost falling into their arms now. We were making a pact, all of us. You’ve got us; we’ve got you.”

Michelle touches on her search for a fulfilling career, how important it was for both her and Barack to meet Valerie Jarrett, the significance of their wedding ceremony, and how she negotiated working with communicating and daily life with an unconventional thinker. She describes how her identity changed as a newlywed and how they had vastly different upbringings and ideas of what marriage is. We learn about their efforts to help adolescent girls around the world, among many initiatives. And of course, they feel that they are always pushing against many stereotypes.

“It’s all a process, steps along a path. Becoming requires equal parts patience and rigor. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there’s more growing to be done.”

The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey

I’m one of those controlling parents who are trying very hard not to be. I watch my daughter wait until the last minute to complete a school project and I try very hard not to say a thing (after my first 5 offers to help). I know it’s just hanging out there and that the day before it’s due will be miserable for both of us.

And yet, relinquishing control is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. The stakes will only get higher the older she gets.

“Failure – from small mistakes to huge miscalculations – is a necessary and critical part of our children’s development… All sorts of disappointments, rejections, corrections, and criticisms are small failures, all opportunities in disguise, valuable gifts misidentified as tragedy. Sadly, when we avoid or dismiss these opportunities, in order to preserve children’s sense of ease and short-term happiness, we deprive them of the experiences they need to have in order to become capable, competent adults.”

Children whose parents don’t allow them to fail are less engaged, less enthusiastic about their education, less motivated, and ultimately less successful than children whose parents support their autonomy.

Posted in Books - Monthly Reports, Motherhood | Tagged Colum McCann, depression, Jessica Lahey, Mari Andrew, Matt Haig, Michelle Obama, Sy Montgomery | 2 Comments

New house update #9: HVAC and electric

Posted on December 17, 2018 by Naomi

I’d like you to meet our new General Contractor. All decisions are run through her.

I found a website that explains what to expect during the build process and breaks it down into 10 main steps. We are currently on Step #3, rough plumbing, electric, and HVAC. They will install pipes and wiring, sewer lines and vents, water supply lines, and ductwork and vent pipes for the HVAC system.

In mid-November, the cabinetry dimensions were marked with spray paint. Below you can see where the kitchen island will be.

We also got our back door delivered.

The main focus of our meeting that day was to discuss the connection between the new house and the room over the garage. Originally it was to be connected via a second floor hallway. Mr. B and I had another, better idea and we met with the architect, builder, framer, and project manager to discuss this. All concurred that we’d build the connection on the first floor instead. This allows us a way to enter the house from the garage rather than having to exit the garage and then enter the house. It also makes the engineering of it all much simpler.

This subsequently allows us to use that upstairs space, which was to become a hallway to the office above the garage, as an extension of our daughter’s room. Her room and bathroom were FINE before, but this new arrangement will allow us to use the newfound space as her closet, freeing up her “old” closet to be a larger vanity area.

This was to be a hallway but will now be walled off and become a closet.

Here’s the old plan:

Here’s the new plan:

It’s great because it gives her a little more closet space and much more needed storage in her bathroom. Best of all is that it didn’t require any structural changes because it’s already framed. We are just allocating the space differently. The plumbing hadn’t been put in either. We had an extremely happy girl when she heard this news!

I selected our countertops recently also. This is Eternal Statuario by Silestone.

Testing color samples against the floor tile

I’d originally wanted a darker grey counter for our master bathroom, but couldn’t find a good match. With the grey cabinetry, I think keeping the counter white makes more sense anyway.

Wednesday, 11/14: Loft window delivered today. Door pans to install tomorrow. Loft window and door to install Friday. Shingles to install Monday.

Friday, 11/16: Waiting on architect for drawings on back porch to submit to structural. Loft window installed today. Door flashing and pans installed today. Window and tape flashing also completed today.

Monday, 11/19: Shingles delivered today. Waiting on drier weather to install.

Tuesday, 11/20: Shingles are installing today. A/C rough starts today.

Wednesday, 11/21: HVAC rough continues and into next week. Shingles are installing again today and should complete before the end of the afternoon.

Monday, 11/26: HVAC rough continues today. Electrical boxes and recessed can lights starting.

Wednesday, 11/28: Front door has been installed and it’s beautiful. A/C technicians are still roughing in house and should complete by Friday. We set up a box walk for the electrical for Monday.

12/3: HVAC rough continues today. Walked through house with electrician to point out all the changes I want. It took 3 hours! We also added exterior lighting. I don’t really understand why they didn’t take my notes to do it correctly the first time instead of putting in the “standard” and then having to change it.

Electrical change order being created before electrical start. Waiting on structural engineer for revised plans to Breezeway and Hannah’s bathroom. Architect has completed revisions and sent to engineering.

Thursday, 12/6: Met with Unlimited Integration (low-voltage) and electrician today at the house. House will experience a few delays while the redesign process takes place. Sent back the structural drawings to be revised. Once completed I will forward to the concrete contractor to install exterior beams and attached breezeway. Low voltage plan to be given to electrician once received from Unlimited.

Tuesday, 12/11: Waiting for concrete company to schedule exterior beams. Met Unlimited at the house to determine which switches will be “smart.” Waiting for estimates from electrician and Unlimited.

Posted in Home | Tagged electric, HVAC, shingles | 1 Comment

November life update and reading report

Posted on December 10, 2018 by Naomi

I wrote this post from beautiful Scottsdale, Arizona, where I spent a few days at a Mussar Institute conference.

It is sunny and cool here, and the mountains and cacti give it a gorgeous setting. I have gained so much from being here for a second year, learning and studying with like-minded people. I have also gotten to meet some fellow artists and see some of their work, which feels motivating and exciting.

Life recap…

For the house, I have been mainly focused on lighting. I ended up getting some good sale prices around Thanksgiving on most of our fixtures. We also selected countertops and made a change to how we are connecting the house to the garage. They are working on electric and HVAC currently. The biggest news is that we got our front door!

The school book fair was a success. This was my fourth time chairing it. I enjoyed it far more than I ever had before. I had ample help and was able to spend time with some of the students helping with shopping for something they loved. They joy on their faces around the book fair every year fills me with happiness.

Mr. B and I went to Puerta Vallarta for a few days for our 17th anniversary. Here’s what I wrote that day on Facebook: It’s astounding to think of how much we have shared together, learned about each other, and all the milestones to (hopefully) come since this picture [wedding photo] 17 years ago today. Together we have had 6 jobs, 5 moves (1 cross-country) to 6 houses/apartments (and one more of each to come soon), and lots of travel opportunities. We’ve been through 3 named hurricanes. We have lost 1 parent, 2 grandparents, 2 cats, 1 body organ (gall bladder), and a house. We have been blessed to encounter an infinite number of beautiful friends and 1 AMAZING DAUGHTER. We’ve shared many bedtime stories, birthday parties, and life lessons. We are grateful for all of it!

And this is not too shabby a view, right? It took me a couple days to unwind, but eventually I joined Mr. B in relaxing and just enjoying being together. I usually need to refill my own well before I can focus on someone else, which makes sense since we left right after the book fair craziness. We found our favorite spot to be at the rooftop pool. We created a little shaded haven for ourselves and read, swam, ate, and napped there.

These trips are so important for keeping our relationship strong. When we’re at home, other things take most of our attention and we forget to carve out time just for us. I often get in bed after putting SG to bed because I’m so tired, and Mr. B is often working. Sunday mornings are still our go-to time to catch up.

Family life is great. SG is almost halfway through fourth grade and doing well. She does her homework with no complaints these days. The other day, she took her camera with us on a photo walk and I had to smile at our similarity. I treasure our time together at bedtime when we read and catch up. We’ve made our way through almost all of Roald Dahl lately. We had a lovely Thanksgiving with family.

OK on to the books. But first… here are a couple of airplane cloud photos I couldn’t resist taking for their magical qualities.

The Genius of Birds by Jennifer Ackerman

Wow. I picked this up about a year ago in an airport… I don’t really know why. After finishing The Soul of an Octopus (below), I was curious about other animals’ abilities. Some of the birds Ackerman describes behave in ways that are stunningly intelligent. Keas (small parrots) are practical jokesters. New Caledonian crows make tools and can complete an 8-step game to get to food. Scrub jays play a shell game where they bury, then later move or pretend to move food from one cache to another to trick other scrub jays. Male bower birds make beautiful art to attract a female. Ackerman covers many scientific observations on avian cognitive function and capability. I found it all fascinating.

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

This one is on the bestseller lists, is an Oprah’s Book Club selection, and is nominated for many awards. Then when one of you dear souls recommended it, I had to read it!

A black man wrongly accused and sent to prison… and his wife left behind who may or may not be with somebody else. This was a very engaging story and I enjoyed the unfolding of it the way Jones tells it. Each character has his own perspective and feelings, of course, and so there is no one true and unbiased version of this story. The writing is descriptive and gave me lots to think about.

“Much of life is timing and circumstance, I see that now. Roy came into my life at the time when I needed a mina like him. Would I have galloped into this love affair if I had never left Atlanta? I don’t know. But how you feel love and understand love are two different things… Human emotion is beyond comprehension, smooth and uninterrupted, like an orb make of blown glass.”

Thanks, Obama: My Hopey, Changey White House Years by David Litt

I like thinking about the Obama years when all was right(er) with the world and we could be proud of our leaders. Litt tells how he came to work on the Obama campaign and eventually was hired as a speechwriter. He shares in humorous and self-deprecating anecdotes how he worked his way up to become one of the main writers, moving from making extreme nervous gaffes in the President’s presence to getting to know him better. Litt’s summary of Obama’s presidency was poignant and he makes an inspiring call to public service at the end of his book. Altogether an enjoyable book and a reminder that there are many who still hold on to hope for change.

“I’d often heard senior staff describe President Obama as the smartest guy in the room, but only now did I realize what they meant. He didn’t speak seven languages or know the Latin names of species or multiply large numbers in his head. What he did, more quickly than anyone, was strip away complicated issues to their essence and make the most of the information obtained. No one was better at getting to the point.”

The Soul of an Octopus: A Surprising Exploration Into the Wonder of Consciousness by Sy Montgomery

This is definitely one of the best books I have ever read. I had absolutely no idea how intelligent, social, and adaptive the octopus is! I read about their three hearts, the distribution of neurons along their arms, their suckers, and their curious intelligence. The author forms deep relationships with the staff and the octupuses at the aquarium and tells her observations with such heart that it brought tears to my eyes at times. I will never look at these creatures the same way.

Thanks for reading! As always, send your recommendations my way. I’m currently reading Becoming by Michelle Obama and enjoying her story.

Posted in Books - Monthly Reports | Tagged Barack Obama, birds, David Litt, Jennifer Ackerman, octopus, Sy Montgomery, Tayari Jones | Leave a comment

New house update #8: closing the exterior

Posted on November 16, 2018 by Naomi

I am sorry about falling behind in my reporting on the house. It is looking amazing and things are moving along quickly. I am currently busy selecting lighting.

* * * * *

Friday, 10/19: Exterior sheathing continues today and into next week. The sheathing gives a layer of protection against outside elements, creating a moisture barrier.

Sunday, 10/21: Our usual Sunday morning walk-through. Here Mr. B is trying to figure out where the kitchen island will go.

Wednesday, 10/24: Nail pattern inspection passed yesterday. House wrap and cornice set to arrive today and start install. Rain yesterday.

Thursday, 10/25: Making excellent progress on eaves and housewrap today.

Sunday, 10/28: This time I went alone and took my time walking through.

The loft window is HUGE! I’m excited to see it with the 3 panels installed.

Plenty of available attic space up there

Monday, 10/29: House wrap continues. Windows and doors are scheduled to arrive and install tomorrow… pushed out one day to adjust for framing changes.

Tuesday, 10/30: Windows are delivered and are being installed today. Sliding back patio door is in. Roof decking to start after windows are up.

I stopped by around noon to check out the windows. I love how the black trim looks.

These RAM windows make up the entire living room wall to the backyard. They were getting ready to put them in.

It turns out there was a problem installing the RAM windows. There were supposed to come unassembled so the frame would be put up first, then the glass pieces inserted. They are too heavy otherwise.

Wednesday, 10/31: Windows are being installed today. Rain has been a factor. Roof decking to start tomorrow.

11/2: Family room windows are in. Loft windows are being mulled at the RAM facility. Framers will continue roof decking today. Window flashing to install next Tuesday.

Tuesday, 11/6: Roof decking completed today. Roofers should install weather barrier on roof before the end of the week to get the house dried in.

Thursday, 11/8: Water and ice shield is being installed today on roof before shingles. AC to start next week Thursday. Windows are being sealed with flashing tape today. Door pans to be installed before the end of day Friday as well.

Tuesday, 11/13: Tape flashing to continue today. Waiting for Ram Windows to deliver game room window to complete window package. HVAC is on schedule to start next Monday. Shingles are scheduled for the latter part of this week. We are waiting on architect for drawings for 1st floor connection to garage. Installation of front door is tentatively scheduled for November 26th.

Posted in Home | Tagged roof, sheathing, windows, wrap | 6 Comments

Gifts of art

Posted on November 13, 2018 by Naomi

The Mussar group that I have been facilitating since May has concluded. I made each participant a collaged piece to remember our time together. My personal goal was to set aside time to think about each individual and what she has discovered about herself over the course.

When we create sacred space for ourselves and are intently present for each other, our meetings create a container for self-awareness and self-discovery. We learn over time and we gain from each other’s journeys as well.

You can imagine that participants feel safe to share deeply personal stories. It takes courage to embark upon the experience without really knowing what’s involved and it takes commitment to dedicate the time for the assignments and for our meetings.

To honor their work and my own, I spent time creating something special for each person. Here you can see the evolution of each piece as I added paint and details. Each piece has a heart, a phrase, and a butterfly.