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The Whole Megillah

Posted on March 20, 2024 by Naomi

Have you ever had a moment where you noticed you weren’t being yourself? We humans have a need to be seen and recognized for who we are. Whenever I am suppressing my true self in order to fit in, I have to ask myself “what’s the point?”

I recently witnessed a heated exchange between two AJR students, and I’ll spare you the details, but one of them was clearly prioritizing being Black over being Jewish. Her very personhood is about experiencing the world through her racial identity. Then she’s a female, and then she’s Jewish. (This is not scientific in the slightest, and possibly there are other identities in this intersectionality, but it’s what I heard in their conversation.) I’ve been wondering about her ever since, about her past experiences and how she came to be who she is now. How was she different 5 or 10 years ago?

Saturday night and Sunday is the Jewish holiday of Purim. People wear costumes, have tons of fun, and we read the Book of Esther (twice traditionally). It’s gotten me thinking about two things: being authentic and being proud of who I am.

Generally the Purim story is about self-knowledge and discovery. Queen Esther originally hid her Jewish identity to assimilate into palace life and society, but ends up revealing her religion in order to save the Jewish people from Haman, the evil advisor to the king who wanted to kill all the Jews in Persia. Esther’s uncle Mordechai advises her, “Perhaps it was for this moment that you have been created.” (I always get a shiver right there at that line.) She is in the perfect position to save the lives of her people. In the end, Esther reestablishes a commandment-based community, advising gifts to the poor, etc.

There are obvious parallels between the Book of Esther and to the antisemitism of today and the October 7 massacre by Hamas. I would say those two evils, Haman and Hamas, only differ by one letter, but Hamas is actually an Arabic acronym for “Harakat al-Muqawama al-Islamiya” – The Islamic Resistance Movement. The tale is also a dig against present and future Diaspora Jews who have abandoned ritual and God and adopted the cultural norms of their surroundings. They are in physical and spiritual exile.

We have a few of those as well these days. The “Jewish left” has separated from the rest of the community. It was probably gradual, but it feels like it just happened. Jews who are so “progressive” (read: uneducated in modern Jewish history) that they call out Israel as an oppressor. I think our people are redefining the parameters of Jewishness based on who is loyal to Israel and who is not. (Being critical of Israel’s terrible government is not antisemitism, btw.) AJR has a few new students from other schools due to this issue. It’s natural to have a variety of forms of observance, but these are Jews who do not know who they really are in relation to their own culture, their surrounding culture, or their Creator. It was a problem in the Persian Empire and it remains a problem today. In moments of crisis, who are you? Are you with us or against us? Sadly, they do not know enough to be with us, and that is a collective responsibility.

The Hebrew word “Esther” is related to the word “hester,” meaning “hiding.” Esther has hidden her true identity to those around her and often to herself. She would never have become queen had it been known that she was a Jew. In fact, she is putting her life on the line by telling the king.

We all try on masks and identities from time to time, but they are not who we really are. Sometimes we need to ask ourselves what keeps us from dropping the mask. Wearing a kippah around Europe today may get you killed. As antisemitism becomes normalized in America, more and more people are being careful. I am too.

I think there are times to be clear about who you really are and claim it as truth. Being honest with the world and with yourself can be really difficult. A book I read recently highlights this perfectly. In short, a man with a wife and family could no longer suppress his female-identity (I don’t even know how to properly say this) and transitioned to being a woman. It is heartbreaking sometimes to be true to yourself.

Purim is followed 30 days later by Passover, so taking off our masks is part of the journey of liberation. We should strive to live honestly and courageously and try to bring about a world where everyone else does this too. What does the world call you to be? And if you are not being honest about who you are, then what is the point?

* * * * *

After October 7 and the crisis that continues to unfold for Jews around the world, I stand firmly and clearly behind Jewish ethics and morality. I am proud to be learning how to carry on a tradition of great resilience and learning.

As I wrote here recently, I am sometimes ecstatic with what I get to do with my days. I have this little card on my windowsill at my desk that says:

AWARENESS

In the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another day just like today, and there will never be another just like it again. Today is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. It is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until the hour of your death. If you were aware of how precious today is, you could hardly live through it. Unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all. — Frederick Buechner

Just last night watched a recording of a Mussar class based on the writings of Rav Kook, and discovered this concept: “Today, I am exactly the person I was destined to be. I had to take those detours and make those mistakes in order to be who I am RIGHT NOW. I have everything I need to be me right now, and still I must continue to engage in the process of becoming complete.”

I got shivers when I heard this. I have almost let go of the regret of not going to rabbinical school 25 years ago, having heard “that wasn’t your time.” And I am grateful for all of what I have accomplished, the people I’ve met, the jobs, becoming a mother, running a school book fair, designing our home. But that those steps were NECESSARY… I had not considered that. That helps me cultivate faith and trust.

In the class, I wrote down 3 things about myself that I love: curiosity, compassion, and wanting to help others. And 3 things I dislike: impulsivity, sensitivity, and judgmental tendencies. However, as I learned that those negative-seeming traits are also gifts that I have for a reason, I viewed them differently. Impulsivity can be a very good thing when following my curiosity to learn something new. Sometimes I’ll read a bunch of books on one topic and that can be fun. Sensitivity, which generally I see as a strength, can be a little too much sometimes, but this aids in allowing for compassion for others and can counteract the judgment. Plus, loving myself more will lead to judging myself less, which will then help me to judge others less.

So that is one or two masks I can stop wearing.

Posted in Mussar, Writing | Tagged purpose, Queen Esther | 2 Comments

On loving the journey

Posted on March 12, 2024 by Naomi

This week’s Torah portion is about building a sacred space. While wandering in the desert, the Israelites needed a central place for God to dwell amongst them and to look to for comfort and direction. We read that each person was identified for a specific task. Each person has skills and abilities and should embrace their passions as a way to find partnership with God. Who are we to deny our innate gifts? Each one of us needs to tap into our creative capacity because this is how we build ourselves and our community.

The past four years (at least) for me have purposely been full of learning and discovering. It has been surprising and remarkable, like walking barefoot on soft sand when you’ve only ever worn shoes. There are nuances to discover and treasures just beneath the surface that I never knew were there.

Making a significant change in your life usually entails a deep review of your previous choices and deepest yearnings, as well as where you treaded off-course, perhaps on multiple occasions. It involves contemplating quiet messages from your soul, and possibly ones that are not-so-quiet. The actual decision might be quick and easy, but the road to get to that decision is rarely short and sweet.

For me, it meant tuning into those moments that gave me goosebumps and awaked me to what I most needed to feel fulfilled and alive. Fortunately, it was easy to change the shape of my days and enroll in a graduate program. I didn’t have to disrupt my family or move across the world as some personal choices seem to require, and we have the financial ability to pay for this education.

One danger of my love of learning is that I am interested in and want to know so much more – and right away. Of course, the more I learn, the more sure I am of my decision to go to rabbinical school, and the more I realize the vastness of what I do not know. I often feel that I’m racing against time. If I only have a certain number of days, a specific amount of time to fill, I want to be even more intentional than I already am in what I fill it with.

I’ve never been one to watch much tv or sit around chatting, but I’ve come to some odd new place where I am not content because there are so many books I want to read and experiences to be had! I have been making a lot of lists, such as “Webinars and Podcasts to Catch Up On” and “Long-Term To-Dos,” both of which are rather lengthy.

It’s about breadth, but depth as well, and how to do it all. This inevitably leads to lack of self-care. It seems to be a cycle for me, and one that is now more intense. I know that if I give myself some down-time for rest (body and mind), I’ll have more capacity for school and for others, and yet …

I have long felt that there is a path I am meant to be on, but there are no obvious road signs for how to get to it. I know I am on it when I have a sense of recognition that I’m doing exactly what I want to be doing, when possibilities bloom from nothing and I have a giddy sense of awareness of the blessings in my life. It could be a book that speaks directly to my soul as if I wrote it myself, a feeling of safety and warmth as I close my eyes in communal prayer, a recognition of the ease of conversation with a soul-friend, or a playful curiosity when creating something new.

I know when I’m on that path, and I am recognizing more and more moments of alignment with that path. I have a group of people that I hold close and who I can tap into when I have a life-direction quandary. I’m currently doing this about how to direct myself toward more moments of alignment. What gets in the way of my walking this path full time? How do I overcome my lack of confidence? How do I put myself into more situations where I’ll feel those shivers of recognition?

After one and a half years as a rabbinical student taking classes online, I have experienced two powerful in-person retreats. They are immersive and all-encompassing and somehow exclude the natural laws of place and time… the conversations are deeper, and three days feels like three weeks. When I combine that with the travel, lack of sleep, and intensity, I come out of that spiral a different person.

The November retreat left me spinning. I encountered so many different forms of prayer and learning that I was overwhelmed. I met “famous” people and talked with them as if they were not. I witnessed so many different ways of being on a spiritual journey that I am still processing it.

Now that I am home from my second in-person gathering, I see that I’ve learned many new things and that I’m a little bit changed already. First, I have an “expertise” in a few subjects and could talk about them and people will listen to me. This is truly shocking to me and leads to the second revelation… I need to overcome a lack of confidence in myself. Does this come with practice and exposure? What is this about? How many people will need to tell me I’m incredible before I think so too?

After the first retreat, I felt an overwhelming sense of regret that I didn’t do this 25 years ago. It was a crushing sense of loss of valuable time. This time, that feeling is still there, but less so, and I can see that things unfold in their correct time, and that it just wasn’t the right time before. I need all of the life experiences I have had in order to allow this new venture to naturally evolve and to bring wisdom to the journey. The fact that it feels so right is what I wish I had years ago. Younger me tried so so hard – searching, dreaming, looking for my people – and I wish I could take away all that uncertainty and all those tears. She could not find her voice, and now that I feel sure about where I am and what I’m doing, I want that for my younger self too.

What a lesson… it’s a matter of trusting the unfolding, of exploring the soulful journey that I’m on, of watching my own evolution and really tuning in to my soul’s voice. I’ve decided to stop focusing on what is missing and focus instead on what I can create. I have met some beautiful people already and I have learned a vast amount about myself and my abilities. I’m looking forward to all the tomorrows ahead.

Posted in Spirituality, Writing | Tagged finding your path | 1 Comment

Time flies with good books! January check-in

Posted on February 8, 2024 by Naomi

We have had some un-Texas-like weather… a hard freeze where it was 17 degrees and Peanut, our little palm tree, had to be protected… The jury is still out on whether she survived. Then it rained for days and days. But finally the sun is out (and for some reason the temps are in the 70s).

For the first time, I am taking THREE 2.5 hours classes in a row on one day. That is nuts and I will not do it again. However, they are excellent and I’m really enjoying them. (Don’t call me on Wednesdays please.)

For two years, I thought I was wearing progressive eyeglasses. It turns out that they were “Zeiss digital,” a fancy name for some tiny boost at the very bottom of the lens for computer users. So now I’m getting the correct lenses.

I’m enjoying several books at the moment, which I hope to tell you about soon. I completed four in January: These three and a fiction book not worth mentioning.

No Two Persons by Erica Bauermeister: An excellent set of interconnected profiles about the power of one story to change lives. Highly highly recommend. I may actually read it again.

The Jewish State: From Opposition to Opportunity – A Vision for Unity in Israel and Why the World Needs It by Doron Perez: The unity of the Jewish People as it relates to the State of Israel. Rabbi Perez is head of the Mizrachi movement.

Brave the Wild River: The Untold Story of Two Women Who Mapped the Botany of the Grand Canyon by Melissa Sevigny: What an amazing story! This book just won several awards. Two female botanists and their successful attempts to navigate a male-dominated boat trip down the treacherous Colorado River to catalog new plant species.

Posted in Books - Monthly Reports, Home | Leave a comment

One small thing you could do to protect our democracy

Posted on January 25, 2024 by Naomi

It certainly feels to me that our country is in the midst of some kind of adolescent identity crisis. What kind of independence are we granted and what do we need to give in exchange for it? I understand that many of our citizens are overcome with a scarcity mindset of fear, which is displayed with anger, extreme thought, and violence (like a toddler testing limits). But let’s not let him run away from home.

It is through a Jewish-values lens that I wish to point out that perhaps rather than focusing on our rights, we should consider what our responsibilities might be. To one another and to our democracy. A child can’t just sit at home and complain, have tantrums, and demand food and toys. He must contribute… show some initiative… understand how to improve and grow into his potential. And how does he learn to do this? The parent models for him moral action, patience, and understanding. You see where I’m going with this.

It is no small thing to have the privilege of giving input into the direction of the nation. So much of the world does not have a voice or their elections are a sham. One vote plus one vote plus one vote… who knows what might happen. Maybe we could keep a semblance of national leadership that guides with pluralistic wisdom. I am cautiously optimistic.

I’m guessing that most Americans won’t vote in the primaries, thinking the outcome is inevitable. But what if every Democrat in the country (and others too) voted for the non-Trump candidate in the Republican primaries?

Today I’m glad I live in Texas. (I am generally terrible for state PR.) I just Googled “can democrat vote in republican primary” and guess what…. YES you can! Texas is one of 17 states that have “open primaries,” meaning you don’t declare your ~~major~~ party affiliation when you register to vote. You can choose which primary to vote in and you don’t have to choose a political affiliation to do so.

The primary elections, at least in Texas, are two separate elections on one day. The attendant will ask in which primary you are voting (probably without such excellent grammar) in order to give you the Republican or the Democratic ballot.

I am going to vote in the Republican primary, people. Why didn’t I think of this before? Why isn’t this on the Today Show?

Caveat: If I vote for Nikki Haley to be the Republican nominee, let’s just say, on Super Tuesday on March 5, and there is a runoff in the Democratic primary election for some reason I cannot fathom… I can’t vote in it.

The good news: I can vote for either party’s candidate in the general election. I am not obligated to remain a Republican for the entire year, as I’d thought. Thank goodness. No offense.

So the question is: why doesn’t every Democrat do this? I found this online from a Texas Tribune article:

Is it common for Democrats to participate in the Republican primary, and vice versa? In short, no. According to Elizabeth Simas, a political science professor at the University of Houston who spoke about this with Texas Standard, cases of strategic voting don’t happen much in primary elections. “Certainly, there are people who do it … but we just don’t see it happening as much as there’s potentially this fear for it to happen,” Simas said.

I think this doesn’t occur to most of us. Notice how she called it “strategic.” Help me keep an unhinged maniac off the general election ballot please!!! Vote for Nikki Haley and be strategic too!

See what your state’s policy is for primaries here. Some are mixed. Some are closed.

(And please do not ask me who I’d vote for in November between Biden and Haley. I don’t know enough yet to answer that one. Let’s get there first!)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged primary, putting fanatic in charge of everything, Republican | 1 Comment

End of year reading report

Posted on January 15, 2024 by Naomi

Happy New Year, blogland friends!! I hope it has been a fresh start for you. Let’s hope for some good news soon about hostages in Israel. My little family went on a Celebrity cruise and had so much fun celebrating the new year on the top deck of the ship. It was a very nice week and truly the entire ship felt like extended family in a way.

I had a good end to my school trimester and have even fit in a short intensive 1-credit required science course last week on psychopharmacology. It was fascinating to learn about the autonomous nervous system, how medications work in the body, and all the various possible side effects. Generally, clergy need to know how to counsel a person or family member who may be dealing with addiction, mental illness, or anxiety disorders. That is a different set of classes, but this was excellent background knowledge.

Just out of curiosity, I am creating a comparison spreadsheet of Israeli and Palestinian narratives from events of the last 100 years. It has grown to 12 pages! Each side, of course, has a different story of events, even different names for the same wars, but what is interesting is how they are filtered through cultural beliefs. My thoughts so far, in no particular order: Respect is needed, not agreement. The Palestinian narrative uses provocative terms and strong emotion to idealize victimhood. Victimhood narratives are good for gaining support from others, but not for achieving reconciliation. Could the Zionist project have been accomplished without forcefully displacing Palestinians? The Palestinian experience involves denial of personal freedoms and opportunities. Each side seems to be comparing who has suffered more. Basic universal psychological needs for security must be met before any reconciliation. Conflict is stuck in beliefs about the justness of each side’s goals (which negates and delegitimizes the other side’s goals).

Next week begins a new trimester and three new courses that I’m looking forward to. THIS week is all about catching up. I have some webinar recordings to listen to while I do some diamond painting, some doctor appointments, a few scrapbooks to put together, and this post that I’ve been putting off. I am also giving a presentation on Wednesday evening for the Mussar community about my MA thesis, and to make it entertaining, I’ve had to find photos and maps that were not in the thesis. I’m doing a bit of pleasure reading too, in advance of my courses starting again. I’ll be taking Hebrew, Bioethics, and Pluralism.

If you saw the weekly schedule of non-credit classes that I just typed up so as to keep it all straight in my head, you might be disappointed in me. I’m doing too much again, but this doesn’t feel stressful to me. I know what needs my focus and all these are truly extra and enjoyable learning. If I can’t get to some, that’s fine too.

I have about 100 screenshots on my phone of books I want to look into or read soon. I’ll be sorting through those as I organize photos for the scrapbooks this week.

2023, I read 107 books. That seems fairly good to me, considering my time constraints! Due to those constraints, I’m afraid I’m not going to sort them into fiction and non and determine my faves this year. I’m also not going to find links to these books that I read in November and December…

Side by Side: Parallel Histories of Israel-Palestine by Sami Adwan – Amazing idea. Teachers attempt to bridge the gulf between the two cultures. Literally the left side is the Israeli narrative and the right page is the Palestinian. Eye-opening how from the Palestinian perspective, nothing is ever their fault!

How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks – highly recommend. I love everything David Brooks writes. This one should be intuitive but I think most people could benefit from reading it. I’m going to re-read it and then give a talk on it for the Mussar community… some day soon.

Nomadland: Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century by Jessica Bruder – I thought it was so interesting to learn about the large number of people who live in camper vans and travel around the country full-time, sometimes working at an Amazon factory or National Park. This was fascinating.

Walking the Bible: A Journey by Land Through the Five Books of Moses by Bruce Feiler – I’d hoped to learn more about history at the time of the Bible, what the land looks like, etc. In the end, pure speculation.

Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything by Joshua Foer – Super interesting. Literally how to create mental structures in order to help yourself remember long lists of items or numbers. Fascinating.

The Aleppo Codex: In Pursuit of One of the World’s Most Coveted, Sacred, and Mysterious Books – by Matti Friedman – I didn’t realize how much of this document was stolen! This reads like a detective novel.

A Living Covenant: The Innovative Spirit in Traditional Judaism by David Hartman – Hartman was my “mentor” in a theology course I just finished. I used his thoughts as a departure point to learn about some major themes of religion and modernity.

Soul Construction by Ruchi Koval – I’m taking a Mussar course that Ruchi is leading based on this book. Useful tactics toward becoming less judgmental and much a more loving person.

The Librarian of Burned Books by Briana Labuskes – A sort of cultural exchange program for an author to go to Germany during WWII. A couple of interesting character studies.

The Nature of Fragile Things by Susan Meissner – Really good story about a family during the San Francisco earthquake of 1906. Good character depth.

Judaism in a Digital Age: An Ancient Tradition Confronts a Transformative Era by Danny Schiff – Wow. Excellent book, especially if you are concerned about the future of organized community.

The Wishing Game by Meg Shaffer – enjoyable, magical, childlike

Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon – good story, nothing special

That’s it for now. I’ll try to be better about posting book reviews monthly. Good luck with your resolutions (if you still have them!).

Posted in Books - Monthly Reports | Leave a comment

October books

Posted on October 30, 2023 by Naomi

See the correct formatting of this post by clicking the title.

If you only have a minute to find a book recommendation, please go right now to buy this book by Avi Melamed. It is an excellent and fascinating explanation of the power dynamics in the Middle East. I am reading it a second time because it is that good! And my favorite fiction this month was A Woman of Intelligence by Karin Tanabe.

I don’t know how to explain the number of books for this month except to say that 1) if you want to ensure that something gets done, ask a busy person and 2) reading is a great distraction from reality. I guess I’m going to meet my goal of 100 books after all!

Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain — I finally got to listen to this on audio, read by the author, after being on the library waitlist for over a year. My first thought is that Susan Cain’s voice and personality is nothing like what I imagined it to be (soft-spoken, even possibly a little dull). She is vibrant and full of humor and speaks with a variety of inflections and even sarcasm. This book is amazingly researched, full of interesting anecdotes and Cain’s personal experiences. I published a beautiful quote from the end of the book here.

The How: Notes on the Great Work of Meeting Yourself by Yrsa Daley-Ward — How to take care of yourself in a more loving way: setting intentions, feeling loneliness, learning from your past, etc. I listened to this on audio and I’m glad I did because Daley-Ward’s voice is so understanding and calming.

The Candy House: a novel by Jennifer Egan — I totally read this because of the pretty cover. This may be the strangest book I’ve ever read, in part because I had no idea that it was about a dystopian future. It’s not that far-fetched: people are able to upload (“externalize”) all their memories to the cloud and examine them and anyone can “download” them. Told from multiple points of view over different time periods, this is less a story and more a web of ideas and experiences that fit together. It really brought home for me how far gone we as a society are with our cell phones and inauthentic self-portrayals on social media apps. Theoretically, this technology would solve crimes, help cure dementia, revive defunct languages, find missing people, etc. However, I’m not sure I want to know what everyone really thinks. But this book is about more than this. It’s about loneliness, self-image, the truth of memory, connection vs. individuality, technology, addiction, and so much more.

Opinions: A Decade of Arguments, Criticism, and Minding Other People’s Business by Roxanne Gay — NYTimes columnist and cultural critic, Gay has published ten years of her best pieces about politics, feminism, civil rights, along with surprisingly human celebrity interviews and her own witty opinions about life. I’m glad to know of her because she echoes my own views about the political and racial climate in America.

Parenting a Teen Girl: A Crash Course on Conflict, Communication and Connection with Your Teenage Daughter by Lucie Hemmen — From the book description: “More than previous generations, today’s teen girls face a daunting range of stressors that put them at risk for a range of serious issues, including self-harming behaviors, substance abuse, eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.” I found it helpful in understanding what might be beneath the eye rolls and lethargy, what to do and say in response, as well as when to begin worrying and when to let it go. The best part were the examples of conversations to have – both what not to say as well as what would work better.

Breaking Through: My Life in Science by Katalin Karikó — Really REALLY good! Karikó just won the Nobel Prize in Medicine and a friend recommended her memoir. She tells of her hard life in Hungary and her professional struggles along the way to finally fulfilling one of her dreams of working with mRNA and creating the COVID vaccine. Being a woman working in science is twice the amount of work, and Karikó explains the many slights she experienced. Her personal family stories are enjoyable as well. Here is a great article from Your Local Epidemiologist about her work.

“Something hit me, a feeling and knowing. I don’t know how to describe it other than to say it wasn’t there and then it was. this overwhelming sense of urgency flooding me. ‘I cannot let this happen,’ I thought. ‘I cannot stop working. I cannot settle for less.’ No one, I suddenly understood, was waiting for the work I hadn’t yet done… each of those obstacles would always be more tangible than contributions I hadn’t yet made. Obstacles have shape and structure. You can see them. One’s future impact, by contrast, remains invisible, hypothetical, at least until the future finally arrives. Nobody would ever knock on my door and say ‘Kati, this world needs the research you haven’t done, the discoveries you haven’t yet made.’ My contributions at this point didn’t exist. That’s the thing about potential — it always begins as nothing. And if that empty space was ever to be filled in, if it was ever to become something, it would be up to me.“

Three Flames: A Novel by Alan Lightman — I adore Lightman, a physicist who wrote Einstein’s Dreams. He also founded The Harpswell Foundation, a nonprofit organization whose mission is “to advance a new generation of women leaders in Southeast Asia,” and has received the gold medal for humanitarian service from the government of Cambodia. This story is told by various members of a farming family from 1973 to 2015 and explores the powerlessness of females, the victimhood felt in post-Khmer Rouge times, the lack of opportunity in rural communities, and how that impacts this particular family. I think the way that Lightman jumps from perspectives and time periods shapes the story perfectly, portraying deep pain as well as the possibility of change.

The story reminded me that I raised funds to build a girls school in Cambodia in 2008 after learning about the struggles that girls face there and hearing about a man who was building schools in rural areas. I recall being amazed that there was a concrete thing that I could do to help, and I didn’t stop until I’d collected every last small donation. I mentioned it to my daughter, who was amazed that I did this and kept asking questions, especially about how I’d never told her about this before. I remember that my philanthropic boss encouraged me and matched what I raised, so that we ended up meeting the goal, but I don’t remember how much it was. I also remember that I was invited to the dedication of the school once it was built, but that by then I had a newborn and so I didn’t go. Perhaps now Sweet Girl will believe that one person really can make some sort of difference in the world.

The Matchmaker’s Gift: A Novel by Lynda Cohen Loigman — The tale of a woman who is able to see a string of light connecting two soulmates, and her granddaughter two generations later who also finds she has this gift. Each of their lives are a tale in themselves. However, it’s not that trite, I promise. It was so engaging that I read it in a day. The story unfolds perfectly and heart-warmingly, with characters who are real and relatable, and is written in such a way that I was continually amazed at the courage of these two women. I was reminded that it’s far better to fight FOR something than against its opposite.

Inside the Middle East: Entering a New Era by Avi Melamed — Wow wow WOW is this book amazing. Melamed published a book in 2016 and most of his predictions in that one have come to be. This one is an update with new observations to help us navigate the international and regional factors that are reshaping the contours of the Middle East. I learned a great deal about militant Islam and the differences between the various factions as well as the historic power struggle between three regional civilizations—Arab, Persian, and Turkish. Melamed’s descriptions of Iran’s gaining control of more area and resources are frightening.

“Five things may be able to curb or prevent Iran from realizing its hegemonic dream:

• Growing challenges inside Iran. • The Achilles heel of Iran’s agent-proxy model. • The fact that Iran’s aggressive policies have resulted in the strengthening of nationalism and patriotism in Iraq, Lebanon, and Syria. • The emerging counter alliances to block Iranian ambitions. • The rise of the new power in the Middle East—China.”

How amazingly relevant is this paragraph to events of the past 24 days (The book was published in February 2022)?

“When all narratives are valid, it devalues the pursuit of knowledge comprised of facts, context, the sequence of events, cause and effect, actions, and reactions. When the database of knowledge narrows, history and the present become subdued to buzzwords, concepts, narratives, and theories. When critical thinking and media literacy are diminished, conveyors of knowledge are exempt from accountability for the accuracy of their theories and opinions. The combination of facile narratives, disregard for data, and a dearth of critical thinking and media literacy has led to an environment in which a complicated multi-layered Middle East is flattened into a two-dimensional Westernized soundbite and discussions about the Middle East scarcely reflect the complex reality on the ground. Policy failures do not stem from a lack of resources, capacity, or dedicated and committed professionals. They stem from a systemic flaw that prevents an accurate interpretation of the Middle East reality and compromises the ability to navigate an increasingly complex global reality.“

Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome by Aparna Nancherla — I listened to the author read her book and enjoyed her self-deprecating humor immensely. As a female and a minority, she feels that she is the most unlikely standup comic. Nancherla tells about her struggles with anxiety and depression with such candor and openness. I enjoyed her thoughts on formulating material for her routines and how authentic she decided to be.

Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come: One Introvert’s Year of Saying Yes by Jessica Pan — Hilarious. A shy introvert living in London puts herself in uncomfortable situations to expand her social network. I identified with many of the emotions that Pan described. She has life-changing experiences: she takes classes at a comedy club to ultimately do a stand up routine, she travels to new places, she talks to strangers, and she ends the year hosting a dinner party in her apartment for all her various new friends. Pan also has some deeply-thought out strategies about the best way to connect with people.

“As I study my new classmates, I realize this could double as group therapy. It’s clear that everyone here must have some hole in their life: professional, social, or romantic. No one really seems to be here to actually become a comedian professionally—they are here to try on a different part of their personality, to meet new people, to escape the safe, boring clutches of normal life. We have each looked at our status quo and decided: something needs to change.“

“I learned a lot about loneliness. As an adult, sometimes if you’re lucky, you have close friends from childhood nearby, but when you move away from home or outgrow your old friends, you have to find your people. And it’s so hard. It can take years. You have to actively go out and get them. You’ll need them for when life gets dark or one of your loved ones has just gone into the operating room for major surgery and you’re standing in the hospital corridor, scared out of your mind and you really, really need someone to sit beside you.“

Romantic Comedy: A Novel by Curtis Sittenfeld — Remarkably similar to The Happy Ever After Playlist, but compelling just the same. A love story between an award-winning comedy writer who thinks she is nothing special and a famous, yet humble, musician. The difference between the two books is that the writing in this one seemed more engrossing, more astute and much more charming. Learning about the behind-the-scenes happenings of a Saturday Night Live-type show was fascinating, especially after enjoying watching Mrs. Maisel’s last season. The only downfall, despite its extreme predictability, is that I found the main character’s never-ending insecurity started to annoy me.

“Aren’t we all just looking for someone to talk about everything with? Someone worth the effort of telling our stories and opinions to, whose stories and opinions we actually want to hear?”

East West Street: On the Origins of “Genocide” and “Crimes Against Humanity” by Philippe Sands — The author writes much more than a personal memoir. This is an unfolding background of two human rights lawyers who coined the apparently competing terms “Crimes Against Humanity” and “Genocide” leading up to the 1945 Nurenberg trials. Both men studied with the same professors a few years apart in Lemberg, now Lviv, which was also home to the author’s grandfather. I hadn’t read anything about the trial itself and this book went into background of the legal arguments of Rafael Lemkin and Hersch Lauterpacht, pioneers of today’s human rights movement. Lemkin focused on group persecution; Lauterpacht on individuals. Sands also tells the story of one particular Nazi, from his point of view, which gives a strangely detached perspective of his involvement in mass slaughter.

A Woman of Intelligence by Karin Tanabe — 1950s Manhattan housewife who finds personal fulfillment by secretly helping the FBI. It’s about how much mothers juggle their newfound responsibilities and are in danger of losing their identity. Part spy story, part self-determination meets the Cold War era.

“I am a very small dot in this world. My actions are of little significance. But put together with the actions of many, they could have great significance. I want to move the country in the right direction. Then when I’m terribly old and terribly unimportant, I can say that I walked the right path.”

The Breakaway: a Novel by Jennifer Weiner — completely predictable but such a good story! It’s chick lit, but Weiner touches on many worthwhile topics like mother-daughter relationship and communication, taking care of yourself, mother/daughter dynamics and communication, body positivity, mental health and abortion.