Did you miss my summer fiction reviews?
Phenomenal: A Hesitant Adventurer’s Search for Wonder in the Natural World by Leigh Ann Henion

“Motherhood affects everything, but does it have to change everything about who I am and what I choose to pursue?” A fundamentally shocked new mother undertakes a journey to natural phenomena around the globe in at attempt toward emotional healing.  As she rekindles her sense of awe, she shares reflections on parenting, following your passions, and living fully.  She travels to Mexico to observe the tiny spot where Monarch butterflies migrate; Puerto Rico to experience the bioluminescent waters; to Catatumba, Venezuela to see the abundant lightning, to Hawaii’s volcanos, to Sweden and the beautiful northern lights, to Africa to experience the Great Migration, and to Australia, where she sees a total solar eclipse.

“A sense of wonder is, I think, what Einstein meant by a cosmic religious feeling. And that is really what I’m seeking on this journey. It’s an admission of human frailty and the perfect magnificence of earth, the universe, time, in a way that removes the masks of humankind’s many religions to reveal their connectivity, the fact that we are—in the end—one.” Modern science/culture dismisses events if they can’t be rationally explained.  Sometimes, though, the mystery can’t be physically explained.  The word phenomenal actually means direct observation, and it’s the essence of the philosophical discipline of phenomenology, the study of consciousness from the first-person field of view.

“’To form a culture like ours, a culture predicated on the avoidance of disarray,’ psychologist Kirk Schneider reasons, ‘we need to cultivate intricate defenses against mystery, and to acquire sophisticated strategies that enable us to skirt the complexities of being. Hence, much of our speech is geared not to acknowledge our humility before life, but our control, coordination, and management.’”

“’Man feels himself isolated in the cosmos, because he is no longer involved in nature and has lost his emotional unconscious identity with natural phenomena,’ Jung noted. Rationalism, he believed, has left us with a diminished capacity to respond to the numinous, or spiritual, symbols and ideas all around us. ‘Most of our difficulties come from losing contact with our instincts, the age-old forgotten wisdom stored up in us.’ He called this the 400,000-year-old that lives in all of us.”

Sure, we can’t all afford the expense of the time to leave our lives and travel the world. But we can all relate to what Henion says about having experiences like this:

“To trust the senses—the mortal body—is to risk sounding crazy, especially, it seems, if you’re a woman. She’s seeing things. She’s hearing things. She’s so sensitive. Read: She’s irrational. And this I have internalized. Who am I to trust my body, my senses, my instincts? Who am I to know how to raise my child without consulting parenting books and up-to-date rearing studies? Who am I to try to find God outside of an institutionally approved, fully vetted doctrine? Who am I to think I can pursue impractical dreams? Who am I to be taken seriously? Who am I to think I’m capable or worthy? Who am I to . . . Who am I? The very language we use to talk about our most intimate desires makes it seem as if we’ve been having a collective identity crisis. We want to believe in ourselves. We want to have faith in ourselves. It’s as if we’ve begun—in a networked world that connects us to each other in ideas but not in body, in a culture that pushes individualism yet shames us out of navel gazing—to question our very existence.“

Experiencing these natural marvels through Henion’s eyes was fascinating to me.  She glimpses an underlying universal wholeness many times and describes it eloquently.  If you’re into nature and the wonder it inspires, you will LOVE this book!

I have a separate post all about this amazing book here.

Daily Meditations for the Conscious Parent: 40 Days Towards a More Connected, Mindful Relationship With Your Child by Kate Junwald

Junwald says that everything changed for the better with her relationship with her daughter when she read Dr. Shefali Tsabery’s excellent books, The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children and Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn’t Work and What Will (see my own thoughts on those excellent books here and here).  In this short guide, Junwald takes some jewels from Shefali’s books and turns them into brief reminders … seeing a situation through our child’s eyes, seeking partnership, identifying our triggers, or practicing active listening.

I found it handy to have on my kindle so I could read a little 30-second affirmation here and there.

The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber

Spoiled: having few responsibilities, few rules, many material possessions, and too much parent time and assistance.  The opposite of spoiled: generous, curious, patient, the ability to persevere.

Lieber is a personal finance columnist for the New York Times. His basic premise is that we need to talk openly with our kids about money to raise modest, patient, grounded people.  Money discussions are an opportunity to explain a family’s values, model good behaviors, and teach responsibility, yet most of us are silent about money talk.  Our kids want/need to learn and if we act like it’s a big family secret, they won’t learn much truth.  Children are trying to figure out how grownups make decisions based on their priorities.  We should embrace the conversation.

My favorite part of the book, aside from Lieber’s relatable and humorous tone throughout, was the section on how to answer the questions that kids will inevitably ask, like “Are we poor?” and “How much money do you make?” In general, kids want reassurance much more than they want an answer.  Asking, “Why do you ask?” before answering will clue you in to exactly what their concern is.  Find their source of anxiety, like overhearing a playground conversation, comparing themselves to a friend, or misunderstanding something you said.

In 10 chapters, Lieber convinced me to begin giving our daughter an allowance so that she can practice spending and saving while the stakes are low.  Highly recommend this one!

My Life in Middlemarch by Rebecca Mead

“Books gave us a way to shape ourselves—to form our thoughts and to signal to each other who we were and who we wanted to be. They were part of our self-fashioning, no less than our clothes.”

I loved reading George Eliot’s Middlemarch in college and I hugely identified with the idealism of Dorothea.  Some even call it the greatest English novel.  Rebecca Mead read it, and reread it over and over again as she moved through life, through jobs, marriage, family, always finding something to help her through.

This wasn’t really a book about Middlemarch as seen through Mead’s eyes, which is what it claims to be.  I did learn a lot about Eliot through Mead’s eyes from correspondence, historical records, and visits to her home.  If it’s true that love of literature can bind us together (and I think it definitely can), I don’t feel close to Mead after reading this book. I didn’t learn much about her or how the novel affected her at different stages of life.  Disappointing for sure.

Dressing Your Truth, Discover Your Type of Beauty by Carol Tuttle

I wrote over the summer about how I am applying Carol’s concept of Energy Profiling and Dressing Your Truth^®and it was immensely popular.  (Read “Are You Fighting Your True Nature?”) This is sort of like a personal fashion makeover from the inside out. Carol uses Energy Profiling and takes into consideration your thoughts and feelings, your behavior tendencies, your unique gifts and talents, and your personality, grouping them into one of 4 styles.  The goal is confidence and a much clearer understanding of who you are.  Then you can carry it forward in her online class to learn what clothing and hair styles would be best for you.

I am primarily Type 2^SM.  Primary Movement: Fluid, Flowing; Natural Gift: Details; Dominant Quality: Calmly connecting us to our hearts and each other.  I have a fluid, flowing energy. “You are naturally calming, inviting, subdued and sensitive. Your dominant shapes in physical features are elongated S curves, ovals and softened rectangles, which are visible in the eyes, the nose, the cheeks, the hairline, and overall body and facial shape. TYPE 2SM energy moves inward, which is generally recognized as an introvert expression, moving in a subtle and connected flow to create in this world… Other keywords that describe the movement of this energy in a dominant TYPE 2SM woman are: blended, soft, steady, relaxed, connected, comforting, subtle, tender, thoughtful, and detail-oriented.” I offer a peace and calmness to the world. (Your welcome!)

I value comfort and softness in clothing, relationships, and surroundings.  It’s true! I am always touching things.  I value emotional connections.

So now I’m learning how to apply these gifts and challenges to my closet, my house, and my life in general.  It’s a pretty cool concept! Looking in my closet, I see that I naturally tend toward soft, flowing lines and fabric. Anything stiff or uncomfortable doesn’t get worn very much.  Her suggestions are invaluable for clothes shopping going forward.

Learn more about Dressing Your Truth here.

The Child Whisperer, The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, and Cooperative Children by Carol Tuttle

“Every day, children tell their parents exactly how they need to be parented.” That’s how Carol Tuttle begins her book called The Child Whisperer, The Ultimate Handbook for Raising Happy, Successful, and Cooperative Children. It’s all about learning who your child is and what they specifically need and how to best be a parent to the child you have.

Our children WANT to cooperate.  They are constantly sending signals about who they are and what they need.  This book uses the Energy Profiling system as described in the book reviewed above.  Each Type gets 80 pages of explanation and tips.

I know now not to tell my Type 1 daughter to “sit still” or to “stop talking” because those are characteristics of who she is.  As a Type 2 person, I don’t express that movement and volume, but that doesn’t mean someone is wrong for doing so.  It’s all about finding a balance between each family member’s wants and needs.  I can encourage Type 1 tendencies and help her focus on how to cultivate them as assets.

There’s a section toward the end of the book where Carol discusses how to identify a child’s secondary Type and how to incorporate that into your parenting, but I found it just as helpful in identifying that I am a 2/3 and what exactly that means.  Now I know why I am always pushing projects forward quickly, doing too much, and what to do about that.  My daughter is a 1/2, which partially explains why I understand so well her tendency to hold back, to observe before joining in, and to appear socially shy.

I’m almost done writing a separate post about this book for you because it raises so many interesting concepts.  Highly recommend!

Lose the Clutter, Lose the Weight: The Six-Week Total-Life Slim Down by Peter Walsh

For me, extra home items and extra pounds are the result of in-the-moment impulses.  I simply want that book or that coffee pot or that mirror, as well as that brownie!  I am not thinking long-term about the cumulative effect these items will have on my house clutter or waistline.  I’m usually buying or eating because of a particular mood I am in at that time… looking for fulfillment, wanting some different version of life than I have, having anxiety about some upcoming event, or simply not engaging in what’s happening right in front of me.

I started this book around the same time that I started Weight Watchers, so it was helpful to already be in a “weight loss” state of mind.  Now that I’ve lost 22 pounds, I’m interested in the simple ways to incorporate exercise into a daily routine, like leaning on the kitchen counter for 10 plank pushups while making dinner or other similar ways to build muscle while doing something you already do.

Peter says we need to “work with your mind, not for it. Avoid blindly following your impulses. Observe the things your mind is telling you, without immediately obeying its commands or spending time arguing with it. Recognize when your mind is viewing the world as a darker, scarier place than it really is. Stop confusing the memories attached to your household items with the items themselves. Stop envisioning catastrophe in your future. Celebrate your successes rather than focusing on your shortcomings.”

This is a 6-week program guide about decluttering systematically, including a schedule of simple weight-bearing exercises and a philosophy toward engaging taking better care of yourself  in general.  I recommend this one for its ease and simplicity in accomplishing a goal most of us have trouble with.

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Thanks for reading! Summer spirituality reviews coming next week. Have a great weekend!

What have you been reading lately? And are you on Goodreads? I’d love to connect there.

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