May reading and review

May books
May was quite a varied month! Our school obligations wrapped up, including Girl Scouts and teaching religious school.  My daughter kicked tushie in Kindergarten and I can’t believe she’s going to be a first grader in the fall.  Mr. B and I traveled to Italy and Croatia. We hugely lucked out with no water damage in the flood that occurred here in Houston.  And I turned 40.  Lots of joy!

Sunset in Dubrovnik, Croatia

Sunset in Dubrovnik, Croatia

The Power of Choice: 20 Visionaries Share Their Personal Power of Choice Moments by Jodi Chapman, Dan Teck, Members of the Soul Shakers Community

I believe what we experience in life is all about our perspective.  It’s mainly how we choose to think about situations that determines the outcome.  I am honored to be part of this essay collection, all about living from a place of soulful intention each day.  100% of the profits from sales of this book are being donated to the PAWS animal charity.

Judaism’s Ten Best Ideas: A Brief Guide for Seekers by Dr. Arthur Green

In this quick read, Dr. Green describes what he thinks of as the core of Jewish teaching, the ideas that represent the Jewish people’s greatest ongoing contribution to human civilization.  Reading this book, we learn that Judaism is a religion of doing more than one of believing, though of course it is that too.  There’s much discussion about the importance of actions.  This is a good book for Jew and non-Jew alike and could be a perfect introduction to Judaism’s key ideas.

The Dovekeepers: A Novel by Alice Hoffman

This book gave me the absolutely wonderful yet still awful case of “can’t-put-it-down-totally-absorbed-reading-into-the-night-tired-the-next-day”itis. It is so good! The Dovekeepers is a novel set during and after the fall of Jerusalem (70 C.E.). The book covers a period of four years as the Romans waged war against the Jewish stronghold of Masada, claimed by a group of nine hundred rebels and their families.  I have been to Masada and I know what happened there, yet as I was reading, I still held out hope that the ending would be different.  Part of what’s compelling about this novel, for me, was the writing.  It danced along in four different viewpoints until the final moments.

From this mountain there was no longer an escape into the wilderness. The six Roman camps with their high towers blocked any passage through the ravines, or down the serpent’s path, or along the treacherous southern route of the cliffs on the back of the mountain. This stronghold was the only place where we might abide. Like the lion on his chain, we had no way to run from the force of our enemy. It had been written that we would make a stand here and that we would be the last to do so. The outcome would remain unknown until it was upon us, and all we could hope to do was follow God’s path.

In her afterward, Hoffman writes, “I was initially inspired by my first visit to Masada, a spiritual experience so intense and moving, I felt as though the lives that had been led there two thousand years earlier were utterly fresh and relevant. The tragic events of the past and the extraordinary sacrifices that were made in this fortress seemed to be present all around me. It was as if those who had lived there, and died there, had passed by only hours before.”

Orphan Train: A Novel by Christina Baker Kline

“I feel myself retreating to someplace deep inside. It is a pitiful kind of childhood, to know that no one loves you or is taking care of you, to always be on the outside looking in. I feel a decade older than my years. I know too much; I have seen people at their worst, at their most desperate and selfish, and this knowledge makes me wary. So I am learning to pretend, to smile and nod, to display empathy I do not feel. I am learning to pass, to look like everyone else, even though I feel broken inside.”

OMG how great is that writing??? This novel is really popular right now, so I figured I’d see what all the fuss is about.  It is a gripping story about friendship and second chances that grabbed me right away.  You could swallow this book in one sitting, it’s that good.  Highly recommend.

Amazing Birds – A Treasury Of Facts And Trivia About The Avian World by Dr. Roger Lederer

This is a beautiful book that you could open to any page to learn interesting facts about our world’s birds.  It was one of the best books of 2014 on Amazon.  Here are a few fun trivia I learned:

  • Approximately 1,000 bird-related books are published every year.
  • Mammals have X and Y chromosomes, XX indicating female and XY indicating male.  Birds have W and Z chromosomes, the female having WZ and the male ZZ.
  • A blue jay’s feathers appear blue, but if you hold it up to the light and look through it, it will appear brown.
  • Woodpeckers have a shock-absorbing mechanism in the skull, which allows the bones of the jaw to disconnect from the bones surrounding the brain at the moment of pecking.

God of Me: Imagining God throughout Your Lifetime by Rabbi David Lyon

Rabbi Lyon is my rabbi here in Houston and I’ve been meaning to read this for a few years now.  This book brings the concept of God, which can be quite impersonal and external, to a more personal, meaningful presence.  At various points in our lives, from childhood, through adolescence, into adulthood and old age, we have the potential to allow God to be a loving presence for us, dependent upon what we ourselves bring to the relationship.  This book is a meaningful and insightful guide toward developing a life-long relationship with God.

My Salinger Year by Joanna Rakoff

New York in the ’90s, working at a venerable literary agency.  Sounds sort of like the life I wanted then! This is a book I’ve wanted to read since it came out last summer, and it was an easy and entertaining read.  It was bright, charming, and an excellent insight into what it’s like to be young with all your choices ahead of you.  Definitely recommend.

“To be Max was not just to broker big deals but to be utterly engaged with contemporary literature, as entangled with the ins and outs of narrative style as I’d been as a grad student, albeit in a far less rarefied way; to be in daily conversation with great writers and editors who cared deeply about words, language, story, which was another way of simply being engaged with the world, of trying to make sense of the world, rather than retreating from it, trying to place an artificial order on the messy stuff of life, preferring dead writers to living ones.”

“Slowly, as in a dream, the gibberish resolved into language. “It’s Jerry,” the caller was shouting. Oh my God, I thought. It’s him. I began, slightly, to quiver with fear, not because I was talking to—or being shouted at by—the actual J. D. Salinger, but because I so feared doing something wrong and incurring my boss’s wrath. My mind began to sift through all the Salinger-related instructions that had been imparted to me, but they had more to do with keeping others away from him, less to do with the man himself.”

Identifying and Feeding Birds (Peterson Field Guides/Bird Watcher’s Digest Backyard Bird Guides) by William H. Thompson III

This book is enjoyable and very reader-friendly.  Thompson gives a personable guide to starting a bird-watching hobby.  He shares his lessons learned and his joy in the hobby.  I found it to be exactly what I wanted.  Includes photos of males and females of the most common backyard birds, lists of plants and flowers that attract various species, and food/feeder recommendations.  And look how nice (this is what happens when you order from small independent shops)…

signed book

Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte

From Amazon: “When award-winning journalist Brigid Schulte, a harried mother of two, realized she was living a life of all work and no play, she decided to find out why she felt so overwhelmed. This book is the story of what she discovered-and of how her search for answers became a journey toward a life of less stress and more leisure.”

I loved it so much that I’ve planned a 5-post discussion about it this month here on the blog.  Please read the introduction here.

What have you been reading lately? And are you on Goodreads? I’d love to connect there.

Currently Reading

More monthly book reports

Everything I’ve Ever Read (I think)

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Permission to be me – a 40th birthday reflection

Baby me
40.  That sounds substantial.  14,600 days… most of which were really good ones.  I feel young and old at the same time, if that makes sense.  At least, I definitely know enough now to realize how much more there is to know.  Yet the possibilities seem infinite still.

This is a good chance to pause, look around, and see where I am.  40 years is more or less the amount of time it took for me to know myself really well, and I’m grateful for that knowledge.  (I’ll probably say the same thing every year, but really… each moment of our lives has led to this very moment.)  I’ve had multiple phases in there, some when I felt like an entirely different person.  At least, I don’t remember much about those times when someone talks about them.  Are you sure that was me??? I usually try to focus on “the now” rather than the past or the future, but this is a great milestone for reflection and to mine for treasured bits to keep hold of.

3 year oldThere was early childhood, when I was quiet, creative, overflowing with love from my family, and tucked in bed every night with stories, prayers, and a kiss.

Little meThere was grade school, full of learning and fun.  I was the shortest one of my peers.

High school graduationThen middle and high school, where I grew ever more competitive and perfectionistic.   I passed notes with great friends, decorated my locker, and joined lots of school clubs.  Still, I felt that I didn’t really belong to one particular group. Sometimes I ate lunch in the bathroom.

College was a collection of different experiences, depending on the interest, living situation, and boyfriend of the time. I started many great friendships that last today.

IMG_0844During and after graduate school, “real life” began.  Got a fulfilling job, met Mr. B, and grew true friendships.  Somehow these last 17 years have passed at warp speed.  I don’t really know how I went from having a sticker collection to having a husband, a child, and a house.  I mean, I do, but woah.

When I was young, my friends and I would play “going on a date.” I’d imagine having my own car to drive, a boyfriend to go places with, and a bank account.  It all came about in its own time… I have responsibilities, but I still feel young and idealistic.  I still dream.  I hope I still will at 98.  I want to be one of those old women who wear purple.

Fabulous-001This feels like a great opportunity to let go of old insecurities, of saying yes to help anybody and everybody, and to decide how I want to spend the next 40 years.  Because I’m on to me.  I know my strengths and am intimate with my weaknesses.  If I don’t carve a path, the path will be created for me.  And I still need to do the work to let some old traits go.  There is so much I want to become.

A few lessons I’ve learned growing up so far:

  • It’s all about the real connections.  There have been moments to treasure and I appreciate those all the more now.  A friend coming over in high school to help me through a hard time because she’d been through it too, another friend coming over with chocolate and “The Heartbreak Handbook” in college, my brother sitting with me during a stressful event in the middle of the night, true concern during illnesses from family and friends, those who traveled far to be with me on my wedding day, being there to hold my cat’s head as we said goodbye to him, the love my parents and grandparents have for me, all the celebrations and hard times with true friends, a life partner who is there at your best and your worst and all those times in between, and those beautiful souls who send sunflowers when they can’t be here in person… I am so blessed.
  • When I was young (like earlier this year), I said “yes” to things like giving up Sunday mornings with Mr. B so I could spend time unappreciated with rowdy fifth graders who don’t want to listen to me, all because of my idealistic notions of who they could become.
  • Heartbreak lessens over time.  You realize that the things that happened TO you may have happened FOR you.
  • The greatest gift you can give someone is your presence.
  • I don’t “have” to go to dinner with that friend who talks incessantly about her body pain/illness the entire time.  No more friends with drama.  (Family is another story.)
  • It’s the little things that matter most.
  • Authenticity is so much more fulfilling than any show you could put on.
  • Each of us is already perfect.  We can always fine-tune and become better, but we can stop all the internal pressure!
  • I am strong within.  Way stronger than I ever thought.
  • I can learn something from every person I encounter.
  • How we talk to ourselves is so important.
  • It is completely ok to have limits.  It’s ok to feel tired, to not be able to help everybody (so so hard), to not have learned Italian, to have jiggly thighs, to not be good at something new… yet,
  • Most people are doing their best.  Consciously forgive the rest.  (Myself included.)
  • I can trust my inner guidance.  I can be content.  I can feel gratitude for it all… people and lessons and nature and love.

Me today-001
So on this milestone birthday, I give myself permission to be every aspect of my idealistic, perfectionistic, complex, sensitive, control-freak, intense, intuitive, spontaneous self.
 I’ve always done the best I could at the time, so I have decided to let go of the past regrets, illnesses, weaknesses, and mistakes.  I forgive myself wholly.  (That feels good!!!)

Mainly I would like to continue forging the spiritual path I’ve only just come upon.  I wish to carve out more moments for introspection, learning, and studying.  I will also seek to share my own unique way of knowing and seeing with the organizations I’m a part of.  I am newly chosen for the boards of the AJC, Houston Hillel, and Temple Sisterhood, each a meaningful way to be part of my local and global community.  Exciting things await.

raining diamondsYou know how it’s so much easier to rest when someone (especially a doctor, tells you it’s non-negotiable? I have a friend who literally prints out permission slips for herself in order to make something “official.” And so I also give myself (and you!) permission…

… to count my blessings,

… to narrow down my focus to the important things and let the rest fall away,

… to express what I need and desire,

… to allow every single emotion to be, to cry when I need to cry and laugh out loud,

… to sense the rareness and value of life,

Window of raindropw

… to allow the strength or the weakness to settle unquestioned, to live at the edge of sadness for awhile if I wish,

… to share myself with others,

… to try to be open-minded by default,

… to say no simply because I want to be alone  (I need space the same way I need air.  My intuition and knowing comes forward only in this way),

… to embrace the things that bring me joy,

blue jay staredown

… to respect my body and its wonder and work, feed it with nourishment and allow it to rest, to live inside it and to love it no matter what,

… to remember deep breathing in times of stress,

… to make peace with my past and surrender to my future,

… to say YES much more often and to follow impulses that feel right,

… but also to say NO with assertive self-care,

daisy kksimplyinspired

… to keep taking steps toward realizing my dreams,

… to stop putting limits on myself,

… to be precious and powerful and everything in between,

… to forgive myself and others,

… to get out into the community and find like-minded people,

Croatia coast

… to know that I am responsible for my happiness,

… to always choose life (thanks, dad),

… to make myself happy by doing what I love,

… to believe in miracles and to watch for them daily,

… to let my thoughts wander,

water on rocks

… to search for experiences that make my breath catch in my throat,

… to relish my daughter’s childhood,

… to show up, applaud, and take it all in,

… to have courage or frustration or fear or joy… whatever emotion bubbles up from within.. to let it all be there and know that it is ok,

… to know that I deserve to speak up and defend my voice, to know that the smallness I feel is not real,

… to realize that I’m doing pretty ok with the tasks before me right now.

“Especially in the first half of life, introverts are most interested in discovering exactly what it is they have to offer the world. They see self-knowledge as a prerequisite to authentic action. Without an adequate map of themselves, they feel lost and aimless. For them, external circumstances are far less important than self-understanding and self-direction. Once they have a sense of who they are and what they should be doing, they feel they can be happy anywhere.”

Dr. A. J. Drenth, My True Type: Clarifying Your Personality Type, Preferences, and Functions

In sum, I am so very grateful to be alive.  As I continue to learn more about myself and what I can offer the world, I’m joyously anticipating the next 40 years.  I can’t see around the bend, but I know it’s going to be awesome.  AND I’m thankful to you for reading what I share here… and commenting!

 

nemacolin road

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The power of nature

A friend's house

A friend’s house

“It came about… that the water of the flood came upon the earth… on the same day all the fountains of the great deep burst open, and the floodgates of the sky were opened… The rain fell upon the earth.” ~ Genesis

In my jet lagged state, just back from Europe, I barely even heard the overnight storm.  In fact, I probably wouldn’t have if not for my sweet girl climbing into bed with me.  Our alarm sounded and we got up for a typical school morning.  Opening the shutters as usual and glancing outside, I did a double-take because the scene before me was surreal, to say the least.

I stared out at one murky body of water that covered the street, sidewalks, driveway, lawn, and 3/4 of the front porch.  It’s something you really don’t expect to see! There are no limits to Mother Nature, boundaries be damned, and things can shift in an instant.

Our sidewalk, lawn, and flower beds were covered with water

Our sidewalk, lawn, and flower beds were covered with water

We quickly turned on the news to learn that our area had gotten 11 inches of rain very quickly and that the bayou that is 2 blocks from our house had overflowed its banks.  We looked around and realized that our house was dry by some miracle.  Had the water come a tiny bit further, we’d have been hit as well.  There are only a handful of homes in our area that are undamaged and we are one of them.  How blessed are we??? I am still stunned.

Here’s a video of the local news showing the bayou:

And here’s one of our front lawn:

Another viewpoint - this porch was under water as well

Another viewpoint – this porch was under water as well

When we bought our home, we knew we were in a flood plane but were told our house had never flooded because it’s on a sloped incline.  In the much-discussed storms of 1983, 2001, and 2008, all this house had needed was a partial roof repair.

The day was filled with sounds of rescue and news choppers overhead, news reports of missing people, and press conferences from our awesome mayor and our governor (don’t know much about him but I hope he’s awesome too).  We texted our friends and nearby neighbors to see how they fared.  Most were not as fortunate as we were.

Most people had at least 6 inches of water; some had 3 to 4 feet.  Over 51,700 in Houston were without power.  Many were up all night dealing with the rising water and getting their family somewhere higher up.

Some people ventured out to explore as soon as possible.

kayaking

My daughter and I waited until afternoon to take a walk, once the water had receded.  We found dumpsters in front lawns, street signs far from where they belonged, and just about every home (and car) open to be aired out, with mattresses, furniture, and carpets strewn across front lawns.  It struck me yet again how fortunate we are.  All I had to handle was an overactive kiddo for the day.

Taken on our walk - you can see how high the water was

Taken on our walk – you can see how high the water was

The water level was up to where that car is

The water level was up to where that car is

Every house has furniture and belongings out front

Every house has furniture and belongings out front

IMG_0508Schools and city offices were closed.  Hundreds of cars were flooded and towed away. There has been destructive flooding across the state.  Not far from us, there was a tornado that destroyed an apartment complex.  And as I write this post, it’s raining and we are under a flash flood warning.  I can barely navigate our streets now because of all the repair trucks here to remove water and repair damage.

“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” ~ Willa Cather

Completely by coincidence, the topic I’m studying right now in Mussar is order, “seder” in Hebrew.  Too little of it can lead to chaos; but too much causes rigidity and control issues (hello me.) As with most traits, it’s best to aim to be somewhere in the middle.  In my reading about this, there are a few salient points that come to mind:

  • Having most things in order leads (at least for me) to peace of mind.  It can help foster a spiritual state of growth.  Being religiously observant requires extreme order.  External order leads to internal order.
  • It’s very counter to the American mindset, but many religions, including Judaism, ask that we be servants of God. In some way, we are asked to put our own needs and desires second and rise above our habits.  We must trust that there is a larger plan at work and that it is good and true, regardless of what our personal situation looks like. We are free to choose a different path, but I believe eventually we return to the divine path.
  • The universe is organized in intricate and precise systems we are only just beginning to fathom.  The specific cycles of time, seasons, and orbits… the growth of specific plants for specific needs… most weather follows patterns and systems.
  • What matters most regarding “order” is that even when systems seem outwardly confused, we must cultivate inner centeredness.  I believe that the things that matter most have been arranged purposely.  It may seem that things are “out of control,” but they occur for reasons beyond our comprehension.

In the face of literally awesome weather, I am humbled.  In being spared physical repair work and insurance claims, I am beyond grateful.  I can help others who need storage space, freezer space, help clearing out their home.  In fact, the only thing I come back to over and over again is that we were spared so that we can help others.  So that’s what I’m doing.

I’m part of a Facebook group of mothers in the area and the outpouring of goodwill and support, as always, is amazing.  There are so so many who are offering freezer space for perishables (and breastmilk), help with childcare, clothes and toys, spare bedrooms, bags of ice, or simply a helping hand.  It’s really really encouraging.

“The best-laid plans of mice and men / Often go awry.” Steinbeck took these famous lines from a 1785 Robert Burns poem and they hold true years later.  We build and we rebuild.  We organize and we do our best.  But Mother Nature carries on.

Heart leaf

Thank you to all who have checked on us to see if we’re ok.

 

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Greetings from the Adriatic

While you are reading this, Mr. B and I will just be arriving home, having enjoyed 9 days together in Italy and Croatia.

Here are a few photos to show you some of what we experienced:

Positano, Italy view

Positano, Italy overlook

Positano fruit stand

Positano fruit stand

Positano bouganvilla

Positano bouganvilla

Positano beach sea glass heart

Positano beach sea glass heart

Boat to Capri

Boat to Capri

Capri archway in rock

Capri archway in rock

Capri grotto - one of many

Capri grotto – one of many

Walkway to Dubrovnik beach

Walkway to Dubrovnik beach

Dubrovnik waves and rocks

Dubrovnik waves and rocks

Sunset over Adriatic

Sunset over Adriatic

Little boy at beach in Croatia

Little boy at beach in Croatia

Harbor

Harbor

Adriatic sunset

Adriatic sunset

Farewell evening

Farewell evening

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Life in the fast lane – an introduction

busy fingersMy sweet little girl loves to play at being older, working as a teacher or the owner of a store or as a doctor, all while juggling a family.  When I was a 10-year-old playing at being a grown up, I may have also glorified the idea of being enjoyably and purposefully busy… taking kids to school, running errands to the bank and the grocery store, jiggling my pretend keys to an imaginary car (red, of course).  I talked on the phone to my pretend friends and then said I’ve got to run… so much to do, you know.  (No cell phones yet or I probably would have been talking to them from the car!) I thought being an adult meant running frantically from task to task, feeling satisfied and glamorous.

I definitely never imagined I’d feel constantly under pressure in a bad way, like getting through my to-do list was a Sisyphean task, doing so much but not feeling like I am getting anything done.  Comparing myself to an ideal expectation of myself and falling short every time.  When this is your mindset and you finally get a chance to slow down and rest, think, take stock… well, you just start crying because it all feels like too much to maintain.

cave viewpoint of sky and rock 5_7
I am on vacation in Europe with Mr. B and some of his work colleagues.  It is an incentive/reward for those in the company who live in this state of “overwhelm” the rest of the year, along with their spouses.  The other spouses/significant others and I can joke with each other about all sorts of aspects of this kind of life – how it can be hard to find time for our relationships, how stressed and tired our spouses are all the time, how they always say we don’t get it.  These people (mostly guys) don’t even take a vacation unless it’s “for work.” Well, in our case, we do actually go on vacation, but Mr. B works most of it.  Four days in a beautiful locale can’t really balance it out, but it is fun!

We first flew 9 hours overnight, where we were very uncomfortable and I didn’t sleep.  (Mr. B says he can sleep anywhere and it’s true.  Ah, sleep deprivation!) Then we took a shorter flight and then a drive to our first destination, Positano.  Our intention was to take advantage of being in Europe already and go somewhere relaxing so we could catch up on rest before being social with Mr. B’s work colleagues.  Of course we had a lovely time, but it was physically rigorous and I did not catch up on sleep.  Yes, I know, First World problems.

So now here we are in our second beautiful locale in Croatia, Mr. B catching up with friends and me quietly sitting on the balcony of our room, feeling all sorts of “out of it.”  Everyone is incredibly friendly and eager to include me in conversations.  Probably what I’m most up against, in addition to lack of sleep and sore muscles, is this:

Hormone horoscope

That’s my “hormone horoscope” for today.  Energy and stamina are required here, people, not jet lag, hormonally induced irritation, and lack of sleep! I just don’t feel like sitting by the pool, laughing and having fun, or meeting new people and all the superficiality that goes into those conversations.  What is wrong with me???

The cover of the new book Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Schulte spoke to me.  The little scribbled reminders jotted down in haste look just like a page from my own spiral notebook I keep by my computer on the desk.    It’s a book about modern life and time pressure.  In her excellently-researched book, Schulte asks two main questions: Why are things the way they are? How can they be better?

Since I am in the middle of reading this, which I didn’t bring with me on the trip because it’s an actual book and not on my Kindle (gasp!), it comes to mind that I set very high expectations for this week.  It is 8 days suspended in time.  We are 7 hours ahead of our time zone at home, with (luckily) no childcare or household duties.  Because of extensive preparation and my mom’s general awesomeness, all is running smoothly there.  Yet, it doesn’t have to be “paradise.”  It can be whatever it is.  I should have come into this week with no expectations, because so far it’s been hard for me.

In addition to the usual trip preparations (writing pages of instructions for my parents about caring for our daughter and her schedule, informing teachers that my mom would be doing drop-off and pickup at school, arranging for the pet sitter, getting foreign currency, packing, house cleaning and preparations, and on and on… and on), I also spent a great deal of time updating all our “just in case” documentation.  Should anything happen to us, would the right people know where to find and be able to access legal documents, car deeds, financial accounts, etc? I organized.  I scanned.  I uploaded.  I had documents signed.  I made a password-protected list of accounts and credit cards and doctors.  In short, I crammed a months-long project into about a week.

Because why not drive myself crazy with irrational fears and expectations?

sunset over sea“It’s so nice to see you/meet you, Naomi! We know what your husband does with his time… how about you?”

I never know what to say to that because I do not officially work outside the home, yet I feel very busy, for lack of a better word.  I usually say something about doing photography, art, and writing, along with lots of volunteering, in addition to taking care of our daughter.

In light of reading this particular book, I realize that I feel that this type of time-fulfillment is not valued by that many people.  Many of these people can appreciate what I’m saying and their other halves do much the same, yet they themselves do not allow time for much outside of work itself.  When answering this question, I almost apologize for myself.

It’s a ridiculous mindset.  When one person works enough hours for two full-time jobs, who else is going to attend parent-teacher conferences? Make the breakfasts and lunches and dinners and the bedtime “I’m still hungry” snacks? Care for the house and pay the bills and meet with the sprinkler repair guy? Plant the flowers and do the taxes and read bedtime stories and request the shot record for camp and help with homework and take the car to get inspected and send out the holiday cards?

And what if this person also wants to sit on some nonprofit boards? Cultivate a photography hobby? Write? Read? Exercise? Take a class? Run the elementary school’s book fair? Lead a girl scout troop?

It is a fulfilling life and one I desperately enjoy.  I love our home, spending time with our daughter, and being able to schedule my own agenda, as full as it is.  I am so grateful to be able to “stay home” for my family.  Yet I feel overwhelmed too.

* * * * *

This will be a 5-part series here on the blog next month.  Following the structure of Schulte’s book, Post #2 will be primarily about work-life balance, or lack thereof.  We’ll explore why the American “work ethic” encourages 24/7 connectivity and very little down time, why we are one of few countries that doesn’t have comprehensive quality child care or mandatory sick leave and vacation time, and what we can do to reimagine a flexible, family friendly, human-friendly workplace.

Post #3 will concern love and families and how to better balance our roles.  Post #4 will address that ever-elusive sense of play. The final post, #5, will deal with the entire experience of overwhelm, which I will agree with Schulte is mainly a self-imposed emotion based on stress, fear, and idealism.   It requires a conscious (and rather large) shift in perspective to move toward what the author terms “time serenity.”

pool and spa reflections

I now leave this overly emotional mindset behind to go sit by the pool with Mr. B and friends and start to enjoy this vacation.  🙂 Thank you so much for reading! I look forward to reading and responding to your comments.

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Let’s get this garden started

grass

 

It’s growing season again! Just a few photos for you today…

Lily

 

planting grassHybrid roseMandevillaStrawberriesMagnoliaFront beds

I had some trees thinned out, making way for sunlight to reach the plants.trimmings

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